


Every Full Moon

by TrappedInAPentagram



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M, Marauders, Mild Language, The Marauder's Map, Werewolf Reveal, animagi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-17
Updated: 2014-11-21
Packaged: 2018-02-09 05:48:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 26
Words: 57,868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1971267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TrappedInAPentagram/pseuds/TrappedInAPentagram
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter are entering their fifth year of Hogwarts. When they figure out Remus has a secret, they're determined to find out what and are just as determined to stick with him through whatever troubles may arise. </p><p>*will be including some material from tumblr headcanons</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Boarding the Train

**Author's Note:**

> My girlfriend and I are at it again. This time we're gonna try to stick pretty close to the book's hints about the Marauder's life in school with a few little fun additions of our own, mostly throwing in ideas people wanted to see from tumblr. We'll try to give credit where credit is due, of course :) Please forgive any errors about using certain technology during the wrong time period and other such things; this is just for entertainment and I don't feel like looking up when certain things existed. We also have some WTNV fics while you're waiting for this to get updated. Thanks for stopping in, enjoy!

James boarded the train to Hogwarts, shoving Sirius' hand away from his head, as the older male had been ruffling his hair, which he hated to no certain extent. James said, "Knock it off, man," with a grin, signifying he wasn't really angry.

Sirius chuckled, "You're hard not to mess with, Potter. Let's just find Remus and Peter," as he gave James a shove down the aisle. They were all entering their fifth years, so were all used to the routine.

Remus had already found a seat and pulled Peter into the compartment with him, getting him out of the way of patrolling bullies on the train. James and Sirius eventually found the right compartment, going in and shouting some insults to a Slytherin jock before entering the small room. Sirius said, "I hope the trolley gets here early; I'm starved."

"They always get to the prefects and seventh years first," Peter mumbled.

James snorted, "Bah, spoiled gits. Are snacks on you again, Sirius?"

"By all means, my family can afford it," Sirius chuckled.

"I still feel like I should at least help pay," Remus said

"Then buy your own treats, Lupin," Sirius chuckled, "but the offer stands."

Remus shifted uncomfortably, saying, "I have a sickle?" as it was the only money he could really spare at the moment.

"Exactly," Sirius chuckled, using a foot to lightly kick Remus' leg as they were sitting across from each other. 

James sighed, "Jeez, get a room," shortly before Sirius tackled him sideways, putting him in a playful headlock and noogying him. Remus blushed slightly but still chuckled, watching James attempt to wriggle free as the trolley lady rolled up.

"Anything from the trolley, dears?" she asked.

Sirius said, "Oh yes, give me a minute," as he continued wrestling James.

She rolled her eyes, sighing, "If you don't stop that fighting I'll move along and you'll all get nothing!"

Sirius laughed, releasing James onto the floor and saying, "Right, I'm sorry. Let's see..." He bought a multitude of items for them to choose from for the ride, the trolley moving along when he had paid for it all.

Remus frowned but decided to slip a few knuts into Sirius's luggage later, Peter taking a few cakes off the pile and nibbling them as Sirius pinned James under the table. James said, "Come on, Sirius, I have to eat too, you know!"

"Not after that comment," Sirius said, chewing on his own candy and adding, "I'm teaching you some manners."

"Ugh, as if-" James started to say, looking up and blushing when he saw Lily Evans watching with amusement through the window of their compartment. "Shit, get off me," James growled, shoving Sirius off. Remus turned, grinning and waving at Lilly, who smiled and half-waved back before turning back to her conversation.

Sirius chuckled, "Well, it's not the first time you've been a weakling in front of the ladies. I'm sure they'd prefer a much stronger man," he said louder, winking out the compartment window. A middle finger appeared in view of the window, though the lack of a face made it impossible to identify the owner. Remus snorted as Sirius waved a hand, saying, "Meh, I'll get 'em someday," as he helped James stand, somehow mutually and silently forgiving one another and starting on the pile of food.

Remus attempted not to eat too much, as he was rather hungry but didn't want to be excessive in how much food he took. Peter didn't seem to have the same problem, although he wasn't really hungry and didn't eat much beyond a cake or two.

James clapped his hands together after eating a chocolate frog, asking, "So, what sort've fun do you all want to get up to this year?"

"We have to study for OWLS, James," Remus reminded him.

"Not like we've got all year or anything," James grinned. "We'll be fine. We can't spend _all_ that time studying."

"So you just wanna fill up all our down time?" Sirius clarified.

"Never seemed to bother you before," James shrugged.

"OWLS are very important," Remus protested.

James said, "They are, but you can't let a test run your whole school year, Remus."

Sirius sighed, "I say we just indulge him for now. Peter, what say you?"

"I don't think I _could_ study a whole year for the tests," he said.

James chuckled, "Neither do I. Which is why we need to find something else to do, and I had an idea that'd be fun, if it weren't damn difficult."

"Aren't we usually busy enough?" Remus asked.

Sirius said, "That depends, busy between homework, evading teachers after hours, and saving James' arse on more than one occasion?"

"Don't forgetting Sirius flirting," James smirked.

Sirius countered, "I think you're confusing yourself with me, mate."

"All of that," Remus sighed, Peter chuckling, "you guys spend more time getting into trouble than on schoolwork."

James grinned, "Yeah, that's a good way to put it. But if Remus wants to be all studious on us this year then maybe we should figure out what we're gonna eat at the feast tonight instead."

Remus grinned at the thought of the feasts, Peter saying, "Sheppard's pie, for sure."

Sirius said, "I'm craving turkey and potatoes. Good thing they serve thanksgiving every night," he chuckled.

"Steak," Remus said, "mashed potatoes."

James rubbed his chin, saying, "I dunno, I'll decide once all the smells get to me. In the meantime, back to what I was saying. I want to make something."

"Oh dear, open the window, it's gonna get smoky in here soon," Sirius smirked.

"I thought we agreed that exploding stools were a bad idea," Remus said.

James rolled his eyes, "I don't have a prototype of it or anything, hear me out! And it's not an exploding stool, but you agreed those would be fun."

"Fun, but a bad idea," Remus said, "remember the exploding tables?"

James snapped, "That was one experiment!"

Sirius shoved James' shoulder and said, "Just get out with your new brilliant idea!"

James sighed, "It'd take some work to invent the spells necessary to make it work, but...I was thinking, do you know how useful it'd be to have a map of the school?"

"There _are_ maps of Hogwarts," Remus said, exasperated, as Peter chuckled.

"Not just a map--one that could tell you exactly where people are and exactly where they're going," James grinned.

Sirius raised a brow, saying, "That _would_ come in handy..."

"James, that takes some seriously advanced spells," Remus said.

James said, "Like we haven't broken into a teacher's office once or twice," as he waved a hand dismissively. "Besides, can you imagine being able to sneak around at night and being able to tell when ol' Filch is about to come around the corner?"

"I'm sure it's also illegal," Remus frowned.

Sirius and James gave Remus an equal expression of 'you've gotta be kidding me'. James said, "We've done a few...questionable things before, Remus. A map like this could be passed down to future generations of witches and wizards! I'd like to leave our legacy _somehow_ with this place."

"It's true," Remus sighed, nibbling on a pasty.

Sirius said, "I think it's an intriguing idea, but what if someone like a teacher finds it? Surely they'd want it destroyed."

"We'd have to hide it," Peter said, Remus saying "could be a concealment with password spell."

James nodded, "Good thinking, but it can't just remain a blank piece of paper if they don't get the password. It might get thrown away."

"I'm sure you'll think of something insulting," Remus said.

"No doubt," James grinned. "I'll think about it over dinner. Not to mention the planning it'll take to get access to books for that kind of spell."

"Let's try to avoid too much detention," Remus sighed.

Sirius chuckled, "See Remus, this is why we keep you around. You make a good peacekeeper."

"And a better mom," James smirked, Sirius giving him a shove.

"Oi, another comment like that and you're going to your room without dessert young man," Remus said in a higher-pitched voice than normal.

The acting brought Sirius and James to a bout of laughter, Sirius saying, "But mooom," in another, high-pitched tone.

"No buts, you've talked back enough young man," Remus grinned, swatting at Sirius across the table.

James cleared his throat, standing and hopping onto the seat, saying in a deeper tone, "Son, you should learn to respect your mother. Think about how you're influencing your poor younger brother!" as he gestured to Peter.

Peter gasped dramatically, Remus grabbing him equally dramatically and pulling him into a stifling hug, squealing, "Think of the _children_!"

Sirius contained his laughter and said, "How can I think of my brother when I'm the adopted one?!" with mock drama.

"You're adopted?!" James asked in the same deep voice. "Why didn't you tell me, Martha?" he asked Lupin.

"Thaddeus," Remus exclaimed, "I thought you _knew_!"

"You were the one in the delivery room the whole time, how was I to know?" James asked, putting the back of his hand to his forehead. "Oh, the revelation!"

Peter was shaking with silent laughter, Remus releasing him and hopping over the table to instead grab Sirius's arm, crying, "You're still my son!"

Sirius said, "But I thought your name was Lily!" with a large smirk, earning him a glare from James. Sirius continued, "How can you be my mom if you lied to me about your own name?"

"My full name," Remus gasped, "is Martha Lily Elizabeth Suzan Joan Kaira Hannah Georgina Black the third."

Sirius raised a brow, asking, "Did you marry my grandfather, too?" with a smirk. "I don't know what I am to you anymore!"

Remus blinked, Peter asking, "But does that mean we're actually brothers again?"

James sighed, "I'm not sure, son," dramatically, glancing out the compartment window and noticing for the first time a small crowd of people was watching them. He widened his eyes dramatically, making wavy fingers at them and slowly lowered the blinds to the window.

Remus asked with a hint of dread, "Were people watching that?"

James chuckled, "Of course they were, people are nosy."

Remus remembered to let go of Sirius's arm, clearing his throat as Peter said, "We should charge admissions."

James chuckled, "Good idea, Peter."

Sirius shook his head, opening the door and saying loudly, "We're gonna start charging the lot of you soon! Mind your own business!" before James yanked him back into the compartment by the collar.

" _Sirius_ ," Remus said, going back to his own seat.

Sirius said, "Hey, it was Peter's idea," as he shut the door with his foot. 

James chuckled, "Anyway, Martha dear, it was all in good fun."

"If you keep calling me Martha after this I’m going to make Lily call you Thaddeus for the rest of your life," Remus threatened.

James chuckled, "Alright fine, Remartha," with a smirk, Sirius stifling a laugh.

Lupin stuck his head out of the compartment, calling, "Hey, lily!"

James said, "Remus, no, I'm sorry," as he stood, pulling Remus away from the door as Sirius started laughing.

"You don't take him seriously enough and you're gonna regret it, Thaddeus," Sirius smiled. Remus grinned, allowing himself to be sat again as Lily appeared at their doorway, raising a brow.

Sirius said, "Oh, look who it is," as James mumbled, "Oh bloody hell," to himself, glancing away with a blush.

"Hello," Remus said, "nice to see you again, how was summer?"

Lily raised a brow again, replying, "Good, went vacationing in Spain, actually."

"Did you?" Sirius asked. "I've heard James would love to go to Spain, wouldn't you man?"

"Only if they have good Spanish food," James turned his head to smirk at Sirius, the blush leaving his cheeks.

Lily gave Remus a "why did you bring me here" look, Remus shaking his head slightly and saying, "Didn't James go on a vacation this summer?"

"Yeah, to visit a cousin in Ireland. Unless by vacation you meant all the days trying to get Sirius to cut his hair," James chuckled.

Sirius said, "I can't James, it's my source of power," as he pet his own locks tenderly.

"You'd better stop before it gets longer than Dumbledore's beard," Remus said.

Sirius said, "You know that's not possible."

"Yeah, if it gets longer than his beard Dumbledore might have to expel him," James smirked, giving Sirius a shove. 

"The school would be at a great loss, wouldn't it Lily?" Sirius asked.

"I don't know if Hogwarts could go on," she said with dry sarcasm, leaning on the doorframe.

James chuckled, "Wow, she _would_ miss a member of the Marauders."

Sirius said, "I believe your exact wording was if any of us left she'd have to go to you for-" before getting cut off by James' hand on his mouth.

Lily raised a brow again, sharing an amused look with Remus before saying "See you all later, I’ve got to get back to Joey."

James asked, "Who's Joey?" thinking it might be a potential male to duel later in defense class.

"A friend," she said, heading back to her compartment.

"Hey, wait, like what's their full name? And maybe address?" James asked, sticking his head out into the aisle as Sirius rolled his eyes and took his turn yanking James back in.

"James, you're not dueling some poor soul," Remus said, Peter also trying to look into the next compartment.

James crossed his arms, mumbling, "We'll see."

"He's gotta fight for the alpha seat to gain his lady's affections," Sirius smirked.

"Because that'll be effective," Remus said, leaning back.

"You've just never fought for alpha," Sirius said dismissively. 

James said, "I've done it before and I'll do it again."

"What if you lost, though?" Remus grinned.

"I wouldn't lose," James grumbled. 

Sirius chuckled, "You don't even know if Joey's male or female. What if she's a girl and Lily isn't into men?"

"I'll make her change her mind," James smirked.

Sirius snorted, "Good luck with that, mate."

"You'd be more likely to turn her off men," Remus snorted.

James said, "Gee, thanks for the support, guys."

"You're welcome," Peter said, Remus saying, "At least peter's got a date."

James blinked, asking, "When did that happen?" throwing a grin Peter's way.

"Someone who shall not be named, Sirius, wrote her a letter and pretended it was Peter," Remus said. Peter studied a chocolate frog.

Sirius chuckled, "Oh come on, he's a sweetie. What's not to love?" he pat Peter's knee. Peter shrugged, staring at the ceiling as Remus sighed.

James said, "Well, I wish you luck, Petey. They grow up so fast," he looked to Remus and wiped a fake tear from his eye.

"Remember to use protection," Remus grinned, Peter facepalming.

Sirius and James lost it at that, cracking up as James had to hold Sirius' shoulder for support. When they got their breathing under control, James cleared his throat and said, "This is gonna be a fun year."

"Good," Remus said, "hate for you to get bored."

James grinned, "I'm touched that you care."

Sirius said, "Speaking of getting bored, we packed something courtesy of muggle technology for the ride."

"What?" Remus asked, immediately suspicious.

James clapped his hands together and said, "Ooh, you're right. Hold on," as he hopped onto the seat again and reached onto the upper shelves where their suitcases were. He pulled out a small radio with a cassette slot in it, handing the radio to Sirius and reaching into a different pocket to pull out a mix tape.

"Is it going to explode?" Peter asked, leaning away from it as Remus leaned forwards.

Sirius chortled, "No, not this time I'm afraid. If it were going to explode I'd have to throw it into the hall, or out the window."

"What does it do?" Remus asked, studying the outside.

"Just this," James grinned, setting the tape in the slot and pressing a triangular button. A guitar riff sounded, and suddenly the song "Highway to Hell" had started to play.

Peter had started and thrown himself backwards in the seat, Remus flinching and saying, "What _is_ that?"

"Muggle rock and roll," Sirius grinned, "it's what they listen to for entertainment," as James used a foot to kick their door open.

Remus was torn, trying to decide if he liked it as they heard someone shout, "Oh my god this is my song!"

James laughed, hissing, "Turn it up," to Sirius and standing on the bench. Sirius shook his head and said, "Sorry Remus, Peter," as he turned it up anyway, James immediately starting to sing along.

Remus ducked and put his hands over his ears, still able to hear the song and someone running down the hall and skidding to a stop at the doorway, saying "I LOVE THIS SONG!"

Sirius shouted, "SO DO WE," as he stood on the bench as well, handing the radio to the student and continuing, "HOLD THIS OUT IN THE AISLE!" The student grinned, taking it and holding it in the isle as more students poked their heads out of their compartments.

Sirius started air guitaring as James held up his wand upside down as a microphone, singing along to the chorus. Remus was torn between amusement and wanting to hide for the rest of his life as students started piling into the hallways, Peter grinning and absorbing the music.

"I'm on the hiiiiighway to hell!" James and Sirius sang together, Sirius continuing to air-guitar and James making eccentric movements with his arms as he sang. Remus sank back in his seat, watching Sirius sing and grinning, noticing Lily grinning and singing along quietly in the back.

The entire mix on the tape was composed of similar rock songs, including You Shook Me All Night Long, Talk Dirty to Me, Tiny Dancer, Rock You Like a Hurricane, and some Elvis songs. The mix was courtesy of Sirius, playing with the tape in his down time at home trying to avoid his parents.

Remus grinned at lily, keeping his hands over his ears as Lily raised a brow at him and then looking pointedly at Sirius, Remus tilted his head, not sure what she wanted, and glanced back to the boy. Sirius and James were oblivious, drinking in the attention and dueting most of the songs, taking turns to do solos on air-guitar.

The crowd continued to grow until the new head boys, with prefects at their sides, started to push through the crowd, shouting.


	2. Troublemakers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so just a few heads-up notes as long as we're still early on in this fic. for those who are unaware, my co-author and i usually pre-write a lot of our material, but right now we don't have a lot of stuff written for this one. that is to say, it's planned out, but not written, so it's gonna have some gaps between publishing times. not to mention the chapter lengths are probably gonna vary for these first few chapters but it should get better. i'll let you get on with reading now :3

"Oh shit," Sirius mumbled, barely audible with the volume of music, James continuing to sing as Sirius pulled him off the bench.

Remus called, "James," as Peter slid lower in his seat.

James was busy trying not to trip as Sirius threw him off balance. James called, "What? You ruined my solo," back.

"Trouble," Remus shouted, pointing as Lily pulled out her wand in consideration.

"What do you--oh," James said, Sirius pulling him down abruptly and making James fall on top of the older male.

Remus felt a twinge of jealousy but ignored it, instead hearing the music fall suddenly silent with a "silencio!"

James pouted, "Awh," as Sirius hissed, "Quick, hide the radio!" to the kid holding it in the hall. The boy looked at him in confusion, Lily murmuring a spell under her breath and shrinking it, grabbing it out of the boy's hand before he could react.

Sirius shoved James off him, James hitting his head on the table with an "ack" and rubbing his head as the students started to disperse to avoid trouble.

Lily shoved the device into her pocket and slipped back into her compartment, the prefects and head students appearing at the marauder's door seconds later. Sirius and James had righted themselves by then, sitting casually and pretending like they hadn't been the ones causing any sort of ruckus.

Remus pulled out a book to read, Peter staring out the window as the head boy asked, "What happened?"

Sirius said, "I'm not sure I know what you mean, I was talking to James about his trip to Ireland."

"Yeah, I tried seeing the Twisted Sisters with my cousin," James said.

The head boy raised a brow, "You expect me to believe that?"

Sirius shrugged, "Well I'm not really sure what you're here for."

James nodded, "Yeah, can we help you?"

He frowned, the head girl saying, "Just keep it down."

Sirius said, "Will do, compadre," with a grin, giving them a two-finger salute. The girl rolled her eyes, tugging the head boy back down the hall, the prefects following dutifully.

James sighed, "Nice save," to Sirius, patting his shoulder.

Sirius grinned, "Thanks, but where's our radio?"

"Lily has it," Remus said.

James groaned, "Of course she does."

Sirius shrugged, "We owe her our thanks for hiding it."

"Only if she gives it back," Peter reminded him.

Sirius nodded, "Well, yeah. I volunteer James to go ask her for it," he smiled.

"Then she'll _never_ give it back," Remus chuckled.

James said, "You have no faith in my ability to talk to women, do you?"

"No," Remus said, "you're too busy flirting to actually speak to them."

Sirius snorted with laughter, James hitting him in the head before saying, "I'll be right back," as he headed across the aisle.

Lily glanced up when James opened her door. There were three other women in the compartment with her, one blushing heavily at James. James cleared his throat, flashing a grin and saying, "Hey ladies. Lily, did you happen to have that radio?"

"Maybe," she said, looking back to one of her friends and crossing her eyes.

"Yeeeah, right. If you have it, we across the aisle would greatly appreciate getting it back, and if you've lost it in the thirty seconds it's been, if you could keep an eye out for it we'd be eternally grateful," he put a hand over his heart for dramatic effect.

"Remus is right, you do flirt too much," Lily said, resting her head on her hand to look at him.

"What can I say, must be in my genes," he winked, glancing to his pants and pretty sure he gave one of her friends a heart attack.

Lily raised a brow again, "Could you leave before you give my cousin a cardiac arrest?"

James sighed, "I'm afraid I've become permanently stuck to this door until I've got the radio back. Good thing it'll give me plenty of time to look at you."

"I could unstick you," she said, raising her wand.

He leaned up from the door, raising his hands and saying, "I trust your magic, Lily, but that's okay. Can I have the radio back, please?"

"Fine," she sighed, picking it out of her pocket and tossing it at him.

He caught it, saying, "Thanks, maybe I can give you something in return, later," he winked before high-tailing it to his compartment.

Remus winced as he heard Lily shout, "JAMES MATTHEW POTTER" and watched James skid back into their compartment.

James grinned and said, "Still got it."

"Should we lock the door?" Sirius asked.

"Guard it, yes, lock it, maybe," James mused.

"What did you _do_?" Remus asked, looking through the glass.

James said, "I was just practicing my flirting; gotta remind 'em I'm coming back to school."

"This," Remus said, "this is why you'll never get a girl."

"I beg to differ," James smirked.

Sirius rolled his eyes, mumbling, "Well they're always another playing field..." earning him another smack on the head from James.

"I don't think you could get a guy either," Lupin mumbled, re-opening his book.

James said, "Hey, I'll get her eventually. And for your information, I got my radio back," he took it out of his pocket for show.

"It seems a bit smaller than before," Remus said wryly.

"There's gotta be some sort've...I don't know, growing spell?" James asked. "You were always the best at that sorta thing, Remus. Knowing random spells when needed and all."

"James, we _studied_ this," Remus said, "you wrote an _essay_ about this kind of spell."

"Did we?" James asked, rubbing his head. "I think it left my mind as soon as the essay was done."

"Yes, we... oh never mind," Remus sighed, taking his own wand out and casting the spell.

The radio returned to normal, James saying, "You're a miracle, Remus."

"And you're a moron, James," Sirius said.

"Both true," Remus grinned, leaning back in his seat.

James rolled his eyes, sighing, "Let's just hope we survive the rest of the bloody trip in the same compartment."

"Hopefully," Remus muttered, nibbling on the last cake he'd allowed himself.


	3. Signs of Sickness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow sorry this is taking awhile between updates in comparison to our other fics

A month later, they were all settled in and James and Sirius had already managed to pull pranks on a good percentage of the first-years. The four had somehow managed to all get transfigurations class together with Professor McGonagall and were headed there after James was fleeing from a Slytherin prefect he'd tripped.

"Please, relax for one day," Remus said, "I think McGonagall had a heart attack realizing we were all in the same class."

Sirius said, "I almost pity her, but she's a strong woman. I think she'll survive the semester," he elbowed James in the side, and James simply waved a hand as he was panting from the run.

"Well," Peter said, "at least Lily is in the class too. Gives McGonagall more time to actually teach without James making a fuss."

James huffed, "Shut up Peter," as he held a hand on the stitch in his side. 

Sirius chuckled, "You know it's true, James. You'll be too busy trying to pass notes in class to make many other disruptions."

"It's peaceful," Remus agreed, "but you could stop high-fiving her every time she raises her hand."

James said, "Oh come on, if she's within reach I have to take the opportunity."

Sirius nodded, "We've done it for him for far too long for him to back out of it now."

"And it's bloody annoying," a female voice from behind them grumbled.

They turned their heads, James grinning, "Ah, speak of the devil."

Sirius gave a half-wave, saying, "Morning, Lily. In the mood for answering all sorts of questions today, I hope?"

"I'll hex you if you try it again," she threatened, Remus knowing it wasn't a serious threat.

James raised his hands, saying, "Hey, you know it's all in good fun. I could do worse," he smirked.

"Don't you dare," she mumbled, Remus saying, "I’m sure he'll behave." He was positive James wouldn't.

James nodded, putting a hand over his heart dramatically and saying, "I solemnly swear I'll behave during class," with a voice dripping in sarcasm.

"And I’m the queen of England," Lily mumbled, walking past them.

Sirius chuckled, "You're never gonna get her."

"Oh yes I will," James countered. "They always fall in the end!" he added louder.

"What, like you down the stairs?" Lily called back, Remus snorting.

Sirius said, "Oh yeah, you're real smooth," as he clapped James on the shoulder, James rolling his eyes.

"If you just act nicer," Remus said under his breath, shaking his head.

"I'm acting like myself," James said defiantly. 

"That's the opposite of nice, mate," Sirius said with a knowing smile.

"There's a certain level where 'be yourself' becomes bad advice," Remus said, Peter snorting.

James sighed, "Even she can't deny I'm a fun guy," as they neared the class.

"Depends on your definition of fun," Sirius said.

"If you'd just act a bit more gallant to her..." Remus said, following them into the room.

James said, "I'm not entirely sure I can do gallant, Remus, but thanks for the advice," as he found his seat, Sirius next to him.

Remus sat in front of them, Lily sitting behind James and settling her books and wand. A tabby cat was seated on the desk at the front of the room, glancing its emerald eyes about and watching the students take their seats. By now the older students all knew this was their teacher, but she still loved to surprise the lost first-years every once in awhile.

Remus glanced sideways at Peter, who looked a bit nervous as he didn't like cats. Lily took out her papers, glaring at the back of James' head for a moment. James felt the glare but didn't turn around, only leaned back and tapped his quill on the desk in a seemingly random pattern of taps and pauses. Sirius shook his head slightly, tapping his fingers on the desk in response. McGonagall’s eyes were suddenly on them, looking suspicious but not bothering to transform to call them out yet, as class hadn't officially begun.

Lily listened for a moment, rolling her eyes when she realized it was probably Morse code. Remus sighed, taking out his paper for notes. James looked over the rim of his glasses at Sirius' expression, the latter trying to suppress his laughter at some joke he had made. James turned his head to Lily, flashing a smile and lifting his hand slightly off the desk in a wave.

"I don't want to know," she mumbled, studying her parchment.

"It wasn't about you, it was more about me anyway," James said softly, turning back around as Sirius tapped something to him, making him cuff Sirius on the back of the head. Lily raised a brow, Remus shaking his head slightly and watching the feline on the desk turn into the professor.

McGonagall said, "If Mr. Potter and Mr. Black are done flirting with one another, then I'd like to proceed with class," she gave them a questioning look.

"By all means," James said, raising a hand in a wave.

"Our bad, Professor," Sirius said with a similar hand-raise of greeting. Remus raised a slight brow, Peter snorting as Lily rolled her eyes, turning her attention to the teacher.

As McGonagall didn't waste time getting to teaching, nor did James and Sirius waste time getting to messing around behind her back. She knew any snickering was more than likely them but had far since given up trying to make them be absolutely silent in class.

By the time class had ended Lily was sitting with an extremely disgruntled expression, as James had managed to high-five her eight times during the class. Sirius kept track of Lily's hand for James, tapping a certain rhythm when her hand was raised. McGonagall only gave Lily an apologetic expression and had to confiscate Sirius' bag after it made a loud siren-like beep. 

Remus kept glancing out the window, frowning to himself as it was only two days before the full moon, and he was already starting to feel the itch of the moon's power.

They stood when class was over, Sirius snapping Remus out of some reverie with a hand on his shoulder, saying, "Dude, pack up, gotta get to next class."

Remus jumped slightly, looking up at Sirius and saying, "Right, right," as he stood, fumbling with his books.

James shouldered his bag, asking, "You alright, Remus? You seem a bit spacey."

"Yeah, no I’m fine," Remus said, shoving his books into his bag and pushing in his chair.

James gave him a sideways look but nodded, "Alright, c'mon. Hate for any of your teachers to have you late to class," he smirked, lightly punching Remus' shoulder.

Remus rolled his eyes, "I’m sure Slughorn would be heartbroken," as he shouldered his bag.

Sirius said, "I'd be heartbroken, too. You make classes interesting."

"By that he means your homework is fascinating when we can copy it," James grinned.

Remus nodded, staring at the floor due to Sirius' comment and saying, "I’d better hurry, see you guys later."

They said, "See you, Remus," as they went with Peter towards their own classes, splitting down halls and different moving stairwells.

"See you," Remus mumbled, glancing out the window again before hurrying to class.

~~~~~~~~~

That night, they made plans during dinner to meet up in the Gryffindor commons around one in the morning when no one else would be up. Sirius arrived first, sitting by Remus near the fireplace and explaining, "James is getting Peter into trouble; they should be along shortly."

"What are they doing now?" Remus asked, writing his essay that he knew he wouldn't be able to do the following night.

Sirius said, "James is getting Peter to talk to the girl from Ravenclaw he's trying to set him up with."

"That's going to go well," Remus muttered, scribbling a few more lines.

Sirius chuckled, "I know. And I know you're studious and all, but isn't that essay due in two days? Why not wrap it up tomorrow?"

"I’m... I want to get it out of the way," he said, avoiding eye contact.

Sirius raised a brow, saying, "I guess," slowly. "You don't have anything else due tomorrow?"

"No, not really," Remus mumbled.

"You've seemed a bit off today; you sure you're alright?" Sirius asked, scanning his friend.

"Yeah, I’ve got a...head...stomachache," Remus stuttered.

Sirius blinked, asking, "Head _and_ stomach? Could be stress, but why not see Madame Pomfrey?"

"I'm... I’ll be fine," Remus said, cursing himself for putting himself into a corner.

Sirius frowned, "If you get sick on us how are we supposed to get away with pranks? You're always the smooth talker," he smirked.

Remus grinned, "You'll have to deal with it yourselves. I'm not sick."

Sirius snorted, "Well if you're _not_ sick you're gonna have to be there to save our sorry hides."

"Well, I have to visit my aunt again tomorrow," Remus said carefully.

Sirius shook his head in surprise, "Your aunt? And you're traveling when you're feeling ill?"

"Yyyyeeessss?" Remus said, pausing in his essay.

Sirius looked skeptical but said, "Alright. Why do you need to visit her?"

"She's sick with a... contagious... flu," Remus said, knowing he'd prepared a better excuse but finding with Sirius sitting in front of him the thoughts had fled.

Sirius blinked slowly, "And you're going to go see your already sick aunt when you might be catching something as well?" as he raised a brow, studying Remus with green eyes.

"Maybe," Remus said, "yes."

Sirius chuckled, knowing Remus was definitely lying but saying, "Alright, I hope she gets better," as he gave Remus a knowing look, adding, "and don't forget to check up on your uncle with leukemia and your grandma with AIDs," to drive the point home.

Remus frowned at him, saying, "Really?"

"Really, I'm concerned about them as well," Sirius flashed a wide smile.

"Worry about yourself," Remus muttered, going back to his essay.

"Oh I do, constantly," Sirius said, laying back and putting a hand over his brow dramatically. "It's a condition you know, I got it from my mother."

"Of course you do," Remus said, "is the hair from that too?"

Sirius glared at him and said, "What has my hair ever done to you?"

"Blown in my face, several times," Remus said.

"Your fault for standing too close behind me," Sirius smirked, giving Remus a gentle shove.

"I'm sure," Remus said, nudging Sirius back.

"Anyway, since you clearly didn't think your excuses through ahead of time, I'll cover for you when you tell James and Peter the sappy aunt story," Sirius said.

"Thank you," Remus mumbled, going back to his essay.

"Sure, least I could do for all the shit you've gotten me out of," Sirius chuckled.

"You could always at least _try_ for subtly," Remus sighed.

"That's no fun though," Sirius said. "Besides, our pranks are generally definable as our style."

"And Filch is so pleased," Remus said.

"Oh Filch can handle himself and you know it, even if he _is_ the one cleaning up after us," Sirius smirked.

"Miss Norris is out to get you," Remus warned.

"Believe me, I know," Sirius snorted, "but I think we can handle one cat. Anyway, James and Peter have probably been hexed by now and it's getting late--I'd wrap up that essay quickly."

"Right," Remus said, "I'll be leaving in the morning."

"We'll miss you," Sirius grinned, standing and clapping him briefly on the shoulder. "Safe travels to wherever it is you're going."

"Thanks," Remus smiled, looking up from his scroll.

"Sure," Sirius said, waving behind himself as he headed towards their room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> http://trappedinapentagram.tumblr.com/post/92471419125/rumbellehasthephonebox-kittykitpanda
> 
> you can follow the link above to my blog to see the post where the high-fiving idea came from :3


	4. Pressure

Remus left mid afternoon, too nerve-filled and somewhat achy to really force down a lunch. He spent the night as a wolf, howling at the ceiling of the shrieking shack and scratching, biting, and otherwise mauling the furniture and himself. He woke up from collapsing early the next morning, exhausted and battered and aching, and rested for nearly an hour before going to see Madame Pomfrey.

Sirius had taken care of letting James and Peter know where Remus was, though he also made his cover story more believable at least for the time being. When they started hearing rumors circulating about Remus suddenly being in the hospital wing, they agreed they could be late to their next classes and immediately went to find him. James peered through the door, seeing Madame Pomfrey bustle about the sick students, knowing she never really liked his presence in the hospital wing, as he and the Marauders were a 'disturbance'. Either way, he led the way into the room and headed right towards Remus' bed.

Remus was reading to catch up on a missed chapter, propped upright in bed with the scratches that covered his face and arms slowly closing thanks to the nurse's potions.

James waved a bit to the unamused nurse, though she only pursed her lips at them as James said, "Remus, what happened to you? Your aunt turn out to be a rabid dog?"

Remus started, glancing up to them and processing a second before saying, "...Yes." He slowly drew the blankets up a bit higher.

"Woah, damn man, hope you had your rabies shot," James grinned, standing at the foot of his bed as Sirius allowed himself to sit at Remus' feet.

Sirius asked, "You didn't hear him at all did you?" with an amused smirk, knowing Remus was good at getting caught up in books.

"No," Remus admitted, "something about rabies I guess."

James asked, "I mean if your aunt turned out to be a rabid dog I'd be surprised, too."

"He probably erased his own memory; it sounds traumatic," Sirius said, putting a hand over his chest.

"I was just... scratched by her cat," Remus said, setting his book aside slowly.

James scanned over him with a skeptical look, asking, "Is your aunt's cat a tiger?"

"It's a... it's a really big cat," Remus said lamely.

James shared a look with Sirius and Peter, Sirius sighing, "You need to work on your excuses ahead of time," quietly.

"You're early," Remus muttered, setting his book aside.

Sirius said, "You of all people should know how quickly rumors spread around this place. We heard you were here and decided to drop by."

"Particularly to ask some questions," James added.

"Great," Remus said, his smile looking as fake and unconvincing as his cover story.

Sirius glanced to where Madame Pomfrey was standing, she continuing to throw them glares, presumably ready to throw them out as soon as they got rowdy. Sirius carefully flicked his wand, using a muffling spell so their conversation wouldn't be overheard. He nodded to James, who said, "Honestly Remus, you must think we're a bunch of idiotic gits."

"Nnnooo," Remus said, slowly sitting up straighter on the bed.

Sirius said, "Well no one can deny we're idiots, but we're not _blind_ idiots. What's going on?"

"Nothing," Remus said, considering making a break for it. Peter crossed his arms.

Sirius put a hand on Remus' knee, saying, "Listen, we've already got the plan for who gets to tackle you if you make a break for it, and we _will_ use the veritaserum we nabbed from the potions room two years back if we have to."

"It's probably not _stable_ after two years," Remus frowned, "and who tackles, cause if it's peter..."

James said, "Well, Sirius can make a grab for you, and if he succeeds he gets to hold you, otherwise it's on me."

"Damn," Remus mumbled, wishing Madame Pomfrey would notice them.

Sirius said, "Just make it easy on yourself, Remus. I even delivered your aunt story well and they didn't buy it. We want to help you, if we can."

"I don't need help," Remus said, "I’m fine."

James gave him a look, saying, "I admire your strength, but really? Your aunt's dog giving you scratches and bruises that size?"

"Cat," Remus mumbled, crossing his arms now.

"Whatever, what actually caused it?" James asked, crossing his arms in return.

"Uh," Remus said, "an accident. I'm fine."

Sirius sighed, "We can do this all night, Remus."

"I've got time," he mumbled, drawing his knees up slowly.

Sirius moved his hand, not having realized it had still been on Remus' knee. James said, "We already have our suspicions. You're always gone about once a month. You thought we wouldn't see a pattern?"

"No," Remus said, "it's nothing, really."

Sirius clapped a hand to his forehead as James groaned, "Remus, come on. You can't hide whatever this is forever."

"I'm on my period," Remus blurted, then looked mortified that that was the first excuse he thought of.

The three of them snorted, James flat out laughing and falling over as Sirius said, "I didn't know you were trans, Remus," between laughs.

"Shuddup," Remus mumbled, drawing his legs up and burying his face in his hands.

They started to recover after a minute of laughing, Sirius catching his breath and saying, "Ok, now you'd better give us the real reason or we'll personally hold that comment against you for the rest of your natural life."

"And if you tell us a real reason, we'll only hold it against you for the year," James chuckled, recovering as well.

"There's no reason, I'm fine. Can't you just leave it?" Remus pleaded.

Sirius frowned, "Seeing as you're trying so hard to avoid telling us, you know we're just getting more determined to find out."

"But," Remus frowned, wrapping his arms around his legs, "I don't want to."

They exchanged some looks, Sirius saying, "You always get us out of trouble. Let us help you for once."

"You won't _want_ to help me," Remus said, "and there's nothing to help."

Sirius frowned, giving him a concerned look and saying, "Nothing's hopeless, Remus. We can try."

"You won't want to," he mumbled, burying his face in his arms.

Sirius looked to James, who shrugged, as he wasn't good at handling these situations. Sirius thought a moment and stood, moving to sit closer to him and using his hand to rub Remus' back gently. "Why not?"

Remus flinched minutely, saying, "Because. I can't tell you."

James said, "We've been through a lot worse shit than this probably is. Come on."

"No," Remus said, "I don't want you to leave."

Sirius said, "Now you've just got me worried, but how do you know for sure we will?"

"Never know until you get it over with," James added.

Remus just frowned, tucking his knees tighter against himself. Sirius frowned, saying, "Fine, if you don't want to fess up to it now, we'll blame your period and corner you again some other time," with a somewhat forced smile. Peter raised a brow, Remus hiding his face in his arms.

James sighed, "I think Pomfrey is about to blow a gasket for disturbing her patient anyway. C'mon guys," as he leaned up from the bed, patting Peter's shoulder.

Remus glanced up to watch them leave, giving Sirius an apologetic look. Sirius remained seated a moment, patting his back carefully in case there were wounds there as well before standing, saying, "We'll be around when you're ready."

"I won't be," Remus mumbled, tucking his arms over his legs again.

"I hope you change your mind," Sirius said with a comforting grin, letting his hand drag off Remus' back as he started walking off, flicking his wand again to cancel the muffling spell.

Remus sighed shakily, rubbing his eye and wondering how he was supposed to deal with the new issue.


	5. Revelation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i still feel bad for not updating this fic as often, and you all have my apologies for that ;-;

That evening, James and Sirius were locked in a game of wizard's chess, neither being particularly good but having no other way to waste time besides doing homework.

Remus snuck into the room, moving as quietly as possible and sitting on his bed. The three looked over, James throwing his hands in the air with an, "Ahh, he lives!" in celebration.

Remus winced, mumbling, "Hi," and slipping his shoes off.

Sirius said, "It's a small room. If you didn't want to be noticed you could've waited a few hours for us to pass out from this bloody bore of a game."

"I wanted to go to bed," Remus said, peeling his socks off as well and folding them for the hamper.

James shrugged, "Fine, but don't be surprised if you're tied to the mattress when you wake up."

Remus frowned at that, saying, "I have classes."

"So do we," James snorted.

Sirius said, "You won't necessarily be tied to the _mattress_."

"I have _classes_ " Remus repeated.

James said, "And if we're tied to you we can bother you during said classes," with a wide smile.

"Can't you guys leave it?" Remus begged.

Sirius shook his head as he said, "We'll turn it into a huge guessing game until you crack and you know it."

"That'd be better," Remus said, pulling off his outer robes and folding them as well.

James crossed his arms, saying, "You think we couldn't guess?"

"At least I wouldn't have to say it," Remus said.

Sirius asked, "Say _what_?" with growing exasperation.

Remus gave him a look, falling silent for a long moment before muttering "werewolf."

Sirius blinked, studying Remus as James said, "Woah," quietly, not having expected that. Remus looked away, staring at the floor as Peter gaped at him. "That's...kind of awesome," Sirius said, giving him a wide smile. "Here I thought maybe you went into the Forbidden forest without inviting us."

"It's not awesome," Remus said sharply, "it's dangerous, I’m a monster who shouldn't be allowed in this school, and I’m a threat to everyone around me."

James raised a brow, asking, "Does Dumbledore know?"

"Yes," Remus mumbled, back to staring at his feet.

James shrugged, "If he trusts you to be in this school, I don't know why we shouldn't."

"Because I’m a _werewolf_ ," Remus said. "We're not to be trusted."

Sirius snorted, "You're only a werewolf once a month as far as I'm concerned."

"Yeah, up until now you've been a damn good friend," James mused.

Remus frowned, "Should I get a new room? McGonagall could arrange..." Sirius and James, to Remus' amazement, started chuckling, turning into a full-on bout of laughter. Remus frowned, looking between them and saying, "Whatever you're finding amusing about this situation, I’m absolutely not amused."

Sirius recovered himself, mostly, and coughed to clear his throat. "I'm sorry Remus, but what about the situation made you think we'd just up and hate you?"

"Almost everyone does," he frowned, rubbing his arm.

James snorted, "We're not everyone, are we? You're a Marauder, Remus. You should know we'd never abandon you for any reason." Remus blinked, looking up at them. 

Sirius sat by Remus, saying, "There's gotta be something we can do about your ah...new little issue. We can figure it out," as he put a hand on Remus' shoulder, giving it a light squeeze.

Remus stared at him, after a moment saying, "There's nothing to do."

James shook his head, saying, "We're the Marauders, get that into your thick skull and then we can talk about possible cures. If not a /cure/, then there has to be /something/ we can do," he rubbed his chin. 

Remus shrugged, leaning back into Sirius's hand lightly. Sirius didn't seem to notice, saying, "We'll start looking tonight; I'm no longer tired at any rate. James, you got the cloak?"

"Do I have the cloak," James scoffed, moving to its hiding place behind a picture in a hidden safe on the wall.

Remus blinked, asking, "Where are you going?"

Sirius said, "Restricted section, where else are we supposed to find tomes on werewolves?"

"You're going to get into trouble," Remus said half-heartedly.

James said, "And when, my dear Remus, has that ever stopped us before?"

Remus sighed, "I have work to do."

"Good luck, then," James said, patting his knee. "You coming, Peter?"

"'Course," Peter said, heading forwards.

Sirius thought a moment, saying, "You know, only two of us can fit under the cloak at best. Why don't you two go?"

Remus glanced to him, Peter shrugging and looking to James. James looked between Remus and Sirius, saying, "Sure," after a moment. "Might take an hour or two of searching."

"Don't forget to add an hour for evading Filch," Sirius said.

"Right," James nodded, leaving the room with Peter behind him.

Remus watched them go, scooting back in his bed to lean against the headboard. Sirius only shifted to watch him, waiting until he was sure James and Peter would be gone before he said, "And you thought you could get away with us not finding out."

"I'd hoped," Remus said.

"You'd rather have dealt with it yourself and end up in that condition every full moon?" Sirius asked in astonishment laced with exasperation. He rolled his eyes and breathed, "Damn, man, how long have you even _been_..." and stopped, as it might be a sensitive question.

Remus stilled, muttering, "Almost as long as I can remember."

Sirius said, "I'm...sorry, that probably wasn't a good question."

Remus shrugged, saying, "Technically it's a good question."

"I guess," Sirius said, looking back to him. "But...why wouldn't you seek help with this? I know you, Rem, and you're not exactly a pessimist."

"We've researched it," Remus said, "there's nothing that can help."

Sirius shook his head, looking to nothing in particular and saying, "I can't believe that. Even if we can't directly help you, there's gotta be a way."

"I'm not trying to discourage you," Remus said, "but I don't want you to waste too much time on this."

Sirius said, "Why not? If you think we're going to let you keep beating yourself up once a month, then you're the idiot here."

"Sirius," Remus said, "this isn't new."

"And you shouldn't have to think it'll be like that forever," Sirius said. "You don't deserve that."

Remus shrugged, murmuring, "I used to think that. It's just a fact now."

Sirius studied him, not entirely sure why he did it but ruffling Remus' hair all the same. "Of all the things you didn't muck up as a wolf I'm glad your hair is still kinda shaggy."

Remus ducked his head, saying, "That's just because my mom is a terrible barber."

Sirius snorted, "I'm sure. But anyway, why didn't you tell us sooner?"

"I was afraid you were going to hate me," Remus admitted, frowning at his feet. "I haven’t really had good friends before and I didn’t want to lose..."

Sirius stared at him for a minute and said, "We've been through too much together already to give up on you now," before hugging him. Remus blinked, wrapping his arms around Sirius and feeling relieved. Sirius pat his back, pulling away after a moment and saying, "You had work to do?"

"Yeah," Remus said, leaning over to grab his bag, "reading."

Sirius said, "Fresh out of the hospital wing and already doing homework."

"It's not unusual," Remus reminded him, glancing up from his book.

"I know," Sirius grinned. "I should probably do work as well, or make sure James and Peter aren't caught by Filch."

"They’re probably alright," Remus said, "I'd keep an ear out, though."

Sirius nodded, "Good idea. In that case, might as well start on an essay for divination."

"Have fun," Remus chuckled, going back to his book.

"Oh yeah, sure will," Sirius rolled his eyes, moving to sit on his bed and grabbing a piece of parchment.

Remus couldn't help his eyes darting up occasionally to look at Sirius, though he tried to keep his mind focused on his studies. Sirius mostly focused on his essay, knocking his head against the headboard behind him a few times and catching Remus watching him on one occasion.

"You're losing brain cells you don't have," Remus muttered quickly, grinning a bit sheepishly.

Sirius groaned, "It's not my fault divination burns more of my brain than it builds."

"Just make something up," Remus sighed.

"That's what's causing the burning. I'm using too much energy making it sound like I know what I'm writing about," Sirius smirked. Remus snorted, going back to his reading.


	6. Solution

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a public apology to Jelletinny, to whom i promised two chapters in one day and havent gotten to fulfil yet because we're writing like three fics at once and it's hard to get enough material to get one chapter a day anymore XP

A couple days later, James walked over to where Sirius, Remus, and Peter were sitting in a secluded corner of the library. He slammed an open book onto the table in front of Remus, saying, "I think I'm finally on to something," with a broad grin.

Peter started, Remus saying, "Yes, Sirius, bezoar stones _can_ save you from being poisoned, but we need to still learn our antidotes.”

Sirius said, "A bezoar isn't good enough? You're talking actually learning how to make anti-venom potions?"

James said, "Guys," in another attempt to get their attention.

"Anti-potion-potion," Remus reminded him, crossing his arms.

Sirius rubbed his temple, grumbling, "I didn't sign up for this," as James said, " _Guys_ ," again. Remus and Sirius turned to James, keeping his arms crossed. James put a finger on the book, saying, "I'm on to something."

"What?" Remus asked, Peter leaning over the book.

"You're big on reading Remus, you tell me," James smirked.

Remus shot him a look, going to lean over the book and saying, "Animagus?"

James nodded, "Being able to turn yourself into an animal of your own will."

"Yes, I know what it is," Remus said, giving him a slight look.

James said, "We can't find a cure for your issue, but this isn't for you. It's for us."

Remus blinked at him, "What?"

"Look, I'm sure Sirius and Peter agree with me when I say that we don't want you coming back every month full of scratches and bruises you don't even know how you got," James said. "Maybe if we go with you..."

Remus didn't want to tell him he knew exactly how he got so injured, instead saying, "That's suicide."

"No it's not, not if we can turn into animals that can keep you in check," James countered. "Where do you usually go when you ah...need to leave?" he asked quietly.

Remus frowned, "You know that house in Hogsmeade? I think people are calling it the shrieking shack now?"

James nodded, "I know the one. I helped spread the new name," he grinned.

"Yeah..." Remus frowned, rubbing the back of his neck.

Sirius said, "Well, I think it largely depends if we can control what animal we can become. Besides, doesn't magic like this require a license?"

"Yes," Remus said, "and registration, and a waiting period, and they won't let you because you're so young, and also _no_ , it's too dangerous."

James groaned, "But it'd be fun! Think of all the new possibilities for pranks!"

"Depending on the animal we'd get," Sirius repeated.

"What if you're a fish?" Remus said, "or a guinea pig or something? I’d probably eat you."

Sirius chuckled, "I'd want a refund if I got the ability to turn into a fish."

James rolled his eyes, saying, "In any case, hopefully at least _one_ of us would be something that could stand against you."

"One anything wouldn't be able to help at all," Remus said, "this is far too risky."

James said, "You never know. Besides, if we _do_ happen to get animals that'd be useless, we can use them for pranks instead of accompanying you."

"It's still a whole lot of illegal," Remus frowned.

Sirius shrugged, "So add it to the list of other slightly illegal magic we've ever done."

"But this is also risky just on its own," Remus said.

James said, "Oh stop being such a paranoid stick in the mud, Remus," as he gave the werewolf a half punch on the shoulder. "We may be a bit foolhardy but we can take care of ourselves."

"You're in a lot of risk here," Remus said, "it's a bad idea."

James said, "Okay so what if we go ahead with the animagus plan and leave you out of it?"

"We won't try anything before we're ready," Sirius added.

"Well... it's not like I’m going to report you," Remus frowned.

James grinned, "Fantastic! Our little secret, then. Come on Sirius, Peter, we have more researching to do."

Sirius sighed, "Shame we can't ask McGonagall without her getting suspicious."

"This is such a bad idea," Remus said.

Sirius countered, "You say that about every other prank we pull."

"That's because they're all terrible ideas," Remus reminded him.

"But they're all fun!" James grinned. "What say you, Peter?"

"It's a complicated spell," he said doubtfully.

Sirius said, "Which is why we're going to look into it really well before trying it," as though it were obvious.

"If you say so," Peter said.

James said, "Come on, it'll be fun, and it's for Remus. Let's go," as he started moving back towards the restricted section.

"Wait, that's a restricted... nevermind," Remus grumbled.

Sirius chuckled, "He knows full well. We've been breaking the rules for five years, Rem," he smirked, fond of using the nickname when the others weren't around.

"Don't call me that," Remus said.

"I will when the sun burns out," Sirius grinned, standing and patting his shoulder. Remus groaned, resting his head against the tabletop. "Be seein' you, Rem," Sirius said, retreating quickly in case Remus would shoot a spell at him.

"Sirius," Remus called, "so help me."

"Loveyoutooman!" Sirius called before sprinting down an aisle of books and disappearing.

Remus blinked, processing for a moment before slowly going back to his schoolwork.

~~~~~~~~

The next day, Sirius and James had made off with several books on animagi from the restricted section. They had hidden most of them in their room and risked bringing one to the Great Hall during a meal. Sirius and James sat next to each other, pouring over the tome and pointing things out quietly to one another. Remus resisted the urge to slam his head into the table and instead pretended he didn't know what they were doing most of the time.

A kick under the table from Peter let them know when a teacher was coming. Sirius snapped the book shut and instead pretended like he had just been in a dumb argument with James about the correct pronunciation of a spell, not that any professor would ever buy it.

Professor Slughorn wandered over, saying, "Hello boys."

"Evening professor," Sirius said with a large grin as James mumbled, "It's petrifi _cus_ ," to the side, Sirius nudging him in the ribs.

"Not getting into trouble, I hope?" he said.

Sirius chuckled, "Professor, I'm shocked you'd think such a thing."

"Just a minor argument is all," James added.

"Mhmm," Slughorn hummed, giving them both looks.

Sirius said, "Uh...Remus was really interested in your lecture yesterday weren't you Remus?" and turned to his friend across the table.

Remus shot him a look before saying "uh.... yes, very interested."

James nodded, "Yeah, your talk about rat tails in potions was something to hear."

"Well," Slughorn said, easily distracted and mollified by the complements, "it's an interesting topic if I do say so myself."

Sirius nodded, "I hope today's lesson is just as informative."

"I'm sure it will be, lads," Slughorn beamed, patting Sirius's shoulder and walking away, only later realizing the rat tail lecture had been a week ago.

James sighed with relief when Slughorn left, mumbling, "Just when we're getting somewhere," as he opened the book again.

Remus sighed, glancing over to see a seventh year with wild black hair approaching and quickly looking back to his plate. Sirius caught the reaction on Remus' part, glancing over and grumbling, "Oh great," as he resisted the urge to stand up and punch her before she could speak.

She flounced over, stopping behind Remus and smacking the back of his head, saying, "Hey, nerd, do you remember last night's assignment."

Sirius narrowed his eyes at her, James shutting his book and saying, "Bugger off, Bella," as he glared up as well, knowing she hated the nickname.

Bellatrix glared at him, saying, "I asked the nerd a question."

Remus ducked again just in case, saying, "Half parchment paper on the properties of birch bark."

Sirius said, "Great, that answers that then. _Now_ you may bugger off."

"I think you're being rude," she said, resting her elbow on Remus' shoulder and leaning. She batted her eyelashes as she added "we're practically siblings you know."

Sirius' eyes flicked to her elbow, saying, "Just because you're my cousin does not mean we're anything close to siblings. I think if we _were_ I'd disown myself from the family."

"I wouldn't be too surprised if your mother did it for you," she said cheerfully, her smile icy as she leaned off Remus and patted his shoulder, a bit too hard to be comfortable, and walked away.

Sirius glared after her as James put a firm hand on his shoulder, saying, "You can hex her later, Sirius." Remus waited a moment before relaxing, giving Sirius an apologetic look.

Sirius grumbled, "You sure I can't do it now? It'd be far more embarrassing in front of the student body."

"You'd get in trouble," Remus said quietly.

"We're always in trouble for something," Sirius pointed out.

James sighed, "It's not worth it. We have things to research."

"It's alright," Remus said, patting Sirius's arm.

Sirius shook his head, saying, "Not really. We can't just allow her to keep taking advantage like that!"

"I don't mind that much," Remus said.

"It'll just get worse if we do nothing," Sirius mumbled.

James sighed, "We'll figure it out later."

"Yes," Remus agreed, going back to his breakfast.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dont worry, that wont be the last we see of miss lestrange ;3


	7. Trial and Error

It took a month of research and an added week to start on spell pronunciations, but finally they figured they were ready. They went to find Remus, James saying, "Hey, we're making progress."

"On what?" Remus said, looking up from his bed where he'd attempted to hide from distractions to finish an essay.

James asked, "What do you think?"

Sirius sat on Remus' bed, saying, "I think we're ready to try the spell."

"I think it's a bad idea," Remus said immediately.

Sirius said, "Oh come on, we've been preparing for like a month! We've already had to let you go off on a full moon by yourself; made me feel all the worse."

"I've done it every day for years," Remus said, "and I’m likely to still attack you as a wolf; I can't risk that."

Sirius sighed, thinking a moment and saying, "We could see if there's a potion that nulls the effects of being a wolf?"

"There's not," Remus said, "we've looked."

"Do you think one could be invented?" James asked.

"Could be," Remus said, "but not for years."

Sirius said, "Uhm...technically there _are_ a few people in the student body who might-"

"No," James interrupted with a grimace.

"No," Remus agreed, "he's more likely to poison me."

Sirius sighed, "True, but maybe we can barter with him. There's gotta be _something_ -"

"You know Snape's price; I'd have to give up on Lily," James growled.

"And he'd know I’m a werewolf," Remus said, "he's not that stupid." 

"He'd tell everyone," Peter agreed.

Sirius sighed, "Well, it was worth a shot," as he leaned against the pole at the foot of the bed.

"Not really," Remus mumbled.

James said, "We still might be able to find something. For now, we figured you'd want to stay with us when we're trying out the spell."

"I suppose so," Remus frowned, tucking his knees up.

Sirius said, "We _would_ appreciate your company, but a dorm room is hardly the place to do it."

"Where else?" Remus asked. "It's worse to be caught in a bad place."

Sirius shrugged, "Maybe the shrieking shack?"

"I suppose so," Remus frowned, knowing they hadn't seen the inside and not sure he wanted them to.

James said, "Oh, speaking of sneaking around when no one has to know where we are, I've been thinking more on that map I mentioned on the train."

"Mhm?" Remus said, looking back to him as he realized he'd been zoning out watching Sirius.

Sirius sighed, "Here we go."

James said, "Come on, I actually put effort into this. I think if I can find a certain spell, we might be able to draw our memory of the castle's floor plan onto a piece of parchment. If we get it all right we can enchant it with a time currency spell, which should show any changes along with the people inside."

"Alright," Remus said, "I'm not opposed."

Sirius shrugged, "It'd help us keep track of people to avoid, if it works."

James nodded, "So all that's left is how to keep it concealed."

"You could make sure we're the only ones that can read it," Remus suggested.

James said, "That's the idea, but then we need some password enchantment for it."

"I don't know," Remus sighed, Peter saying "like a word or phrase?"

"Phrase might be safer," Sirius mused.

"Think of it after you have it made," Remus said.

James nodded, "Alright, alright. Let's get to the shack before it gets too dark."

Remus frowned, nodding slowly and standing off his bed. Remus mostly had to direct them there, and they realized by the time they were approaching it they'd only have about an hour and a half to practice before they'd need to be inside the castle, as students weren't allowed on the grounds in the dark. "And we could always use the secret passage back," Remus said, "there's a trick to get around the willow."

Sirius asked, "Seriously?"

"Sirius," James smirked. "But why haven't you mentioned this before?" he asked as Sirius glared at him.

"It's a bit dangerous?" Remus said, leading them to the side door.

Sirius said, "But _you_ get to use it?"

"I'm more dangerous," Remus murmured, entering the house and wincing; every surface was covered in gouges, scratches, and bites.

The three newcomers looked around with a mix of awe and a surfacing realization that Remus wasn't taking the word dangerous lightly. James whistled a low note, Sirius asking, "You did all this?"

Remus winced, saying, "They repair it every month or so."

James said, "Well, if anything, I only want to see you wolf-out more now."

Sirius said, "He means we're not gonna be dissuaded by this."

"All this happens because as a wolf I don't have anything to attack but me and the building," Remus said, "once I’m a wolf I’d maul you."

Sirius ignored most of his statement, asking, "So when you're in here, what keeps you in?"

"An enchantment," Remus said, "I think if I really needed to get out I could, but I keep myself occupied."

James nodded, saying, "I can see that."

Sirius said, "We're still going through with this."

Remus frowned, crossing his arms and saying, "You can try. I'm probably not going to let you come with me on the full moon, though."

Sirius rolled his eyes, James saying, "We're still practicing today, now that we're here, and we're already wasting time we don't have."

"Fine," Remus sighed, "assume none of the furniture is structurally sound."

Sirius snorted, "Works for me. Who's going first?"

Remus shrugged, looking to James as Peter shook his head. James sighed, "Alright fine, I'll have a go," as he stood a bit away, frowning to himself as he mentally rehearsed the first few spells that'd allow his inner skeletal and organ structure to change. He had to remind himself both he and Sirius had practiced saying the reversal spell in case something went wrong.

Remus took a deep breath, taking out his wand just in case as Peter stilled, watching James. James rolled his shoulders, nerves holding him back as Sirius asked, "Did you forget the-"

"I know the spell," James snapped, taking a deep breath and mentally starting the chain of words, feeling a slight tingle that let him know, or at least think, the magic was having an effect. The tingling focused more on his head, and suddenly it turned into slight pain as his head felt heavier.

The other three hesitated for a moment, taking in what had happened before they all started screaming at once, Remus jerking back and peter falling backwards. James asked, "What?" in confusion, reaching a hand up and feeling...not just hair. Something hard, skinny, and pointy was on his head. He glanced to the mirror, seeing two four-pointed antlers on his head, and suddenly he was screaming as well.

After a moment they all fell silent, Remus the first one to snort in laughter and saying, "Antlers?"

James said, "I don't know, I think it's good progress."

Sirius swallowed, catching his breath before asking, "What the buck?" with a straight face.

Remus gave him a look for the pun, Peter snorting in amusement. Even James couldn't hide his amusement at the pun for long, chuckling and saying, "Shut up, Sirius. I need to figure out how to reverse it."

Sirius said, "Wait, if you make them bigger you'll be able to catch Lily's affections!"

Remus snorted again, unable to cover his laughter and saying, "Maybe you can decorate them."

James lost his humor, mumbling, "Piss off," as he mentally tried out the reversal spell.

"No, really, I think if we got some ornaments you could really work it," Remus grinned. James flipped him off as Sirius laughed, hunching over as the antlers began to shrink. Remus grinned, saying, "At least it sort of worked."

Sirius straightened, saying, "Yes, I'd call it a good start."

"Good, because you're next," James grumbled once the antlers were gone.

Sirius raised his hands, saying, "Alright, sure," as he traded place with James.

Remus tensed again, almost more nervous this time as Peter stood. Sirius mentally checked over the pronunciation, driven by James' partial success as he started rehearsing the words as well, feeling a tingle similar to what James had felt. However, instead of the tingling being focused on his head, he felt an odd sensation in his tailbone and in his throat.

Remus blinked, looking behind him and saying "Sirius. You have a tail."

"Wh-" Sirius started to ask before his statement ended in a bark. He blinked, putting a hand on his throat and making a whimper like a scared dog.

Remus blinked again, saying, "You're a dog,” as Peter gaped at him.

He tried to talk again and only managed to bark in alarm, James saying, "Oh no, he's gone barking mad," earning a glare from Sirius.

"Well, son of a bitch," Remus grinned. Sirius growled at them, barking in agitation as his tail twitched. "Ok, ok," Remus said, "James, can you get him back?"

James was a bit busy laughing, saying, "He knows the spell!" between breaths. Sirius made a contradictory whine, barking at him again.

"I don't think he can actually say it right now," Remus said.

James said, "It's a mental thing. Maybe most of his mind is focused on getting a treat," he smirked.

"James," Remus said, giving him a look.

"Alright, fine," James said, taking his wand out and casting a silent spell at Sirius.

Sirius coughed to clear his throat, mumbling, "That was weird," as he looked to see the tail was still there.

"I wonder if you wag your tail when you get excited," Remus grinned.

"Shut it, Remus," Sirius mumbled, "this is serious."

"I know you're being Sirius," Remus grinned, "I’m very Remus. That's many James, and so Peter is over there."

Sirius said, "Come on," with a bit of desperation, though his tail wagging gave away his amusement. He mumbled, "Wow, you really can't control it." Remus glanced to his tail again, really wanting to pet it and blinking, realizing he'd said that wish out loud. They all stared at him, James raising a brow as Sirius asked, "Really?"

Remus blinked again, saying, "Can we all pretend I didn't just say that?"

Sirius said, "No, by all means," with a smirk, turning around and wagging his tail in amusement.

Remus turned red, resting his head in his hands and saying, "Can someone please get him back to normal?"

James chuckled, casting the reversal spell again and making the tail disappear. Sirius said, "Well that was interesting. Peter, you up for trying?"

Peter frowned nervously, saying, "M-maybe I’d better wait."

James checked his watch, saying, "We've still got about twenty minutes. What better time than now?" Peter hesitated, concentrated for a minute and holding his breath, casting the spell nervously. They all waited, nothing happening. James asked, "Did you try it yet?"

Peter frowned, saying, "Yes."

Sirius shrugged, "Maybe you mispronounced something. Want to try again or wait?"

Peter frowned further, casting the spell again and gasping, suddenly panicked and falling over.

They all paused and blinked, Sirius shouting, "Peter!" as he bent down, panicking and checking the pulse in his wrist. "His pulse is fine, but fast," he said quickly.

Peter was opening and closing his mouth uselessly, Remus repeating, "Counter curse counter curse counter curse!"

James snapped to, pointing his wand at him and saying the spell verbally. Peter gasped, suddenly able to breathe, and simply panted, staring at the ceiling. Sirius sat back, calming himself down as well as he asked, "What just happened?"

"Couldn't breathe," Peter panted, Remus saying, "Maybe something happened to his lungs? Like he transformed but just his lungs?"

James shook his head, saying, "I don't know, seems likely. Maybe...you don't try that again for a bit," he patted Peter's knee.

He shook his head, panting again and saying, "That was awful."

James said, "It somewhat worked is the key, just...not quite in the best way."

"We all did well for our first tries, I think," Sirius nodded.

"Right," Remus frowned, still not happy with the idea.

Sirius stood, saying, "Right, well, we should go back for dinner."

"We should," Remus said, helping Peter up.

Sirius pulled James up, James saying, "So, we coming back tomorrow?"

"Maybe we just make a schedule to meet here during our afternoon free period," Sirius suggested.

"If you must," Remus frowned.

James asked, "Did you want to keep accompanying us, Remus?"

"I probably should, just in case," Remus said, leading them to the passageway.

Sirius nodded, "Alright, so what's the secret passageway to get here?"

"Under the whomping willow," Remus said, leading them down the tunnel.

They glanced around, James saying, "Uuh...are we gonna have to sprint for our lives when we get out of the tunnel?"

"Yes," Remus said, "if someone goes down, leave them."

James and Sirius exchanged a look, Sirius chuckling nervously and saying, "Um...you're not really serious right?"

Remus turned, giving them an evil smile over his shoulder. James coughed, saying, "Well Sirius, it was nice knowing you."

"I'm tripping you," Sirius said with a straight face, both knowing he was kidding.

Remus snorted, saying, "There's a root to tap and it freezes for a minute."

James blinked, asking, "The whole tree?"

"No, just the root," Remus snorted.

Sirius chuckled, "Sucky defense system, that," as they continued down the tunnel. Remus grinned, pressing the root firmly and making a sprint for the exit. Suddenly the others had to follow him, sprinting and not having expected the root so suddenly.

Remus laughed, leading the charge out of the willow's reach and skidding to a halt outside of the range, panting. Sirius skidded to a similar halt in front of Remus, panting right before James bowled into him, knocking him into Remus and effectively pushing them both over. Remus yelped, being flattened under Sirius's weight and feeling the air forced out of him.

"Oomf," Sirius grunted when they hit the ground, groaning, "sorry Remus," and rolling off him.

"S’alright," he gasped once he got air back into his lungs.

James was busy laughing, Sirius grumbling, "Nice one, James," as he stood, offering Remus a hand.

Remus took it and let himself be pulled to his feet, rubbing his ribs. James said, "You're welcome. Anyway, we're missing the feast!" as he ushered them backward towards the castle.

"Is it really a feast if it's every day?" Peter asked, letting himself be propelled.

Sirius said, "In all technicality, yes it's a feast," as he moved a bit faster to avoid being shoved by James again. Remus ducked into the school building first, trying and failing to smile convincingly at Filch and hurrying to the hall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i cant even with these dorks


	8. The Letter

About a week later they were making considerable progress with the animagi transformations. On one occasion Sirius had gotten covered in dog fur, and James had formed hooves on his hands, much to the others' amusement. Peter had been hesitant to try again but eventually was convinced he'd be needed, ending up with rat ears and a tail on his third attempt at using the spell.

Remus felt just a little bad that Peter ended up being a rat, though he avoided bringing it up, instead settling in their dorm room for the evening. Sirius and James came up from the commons after Sirius' owl flew in with a letter for him. Peter had followed them up, having nothing else to do, and Sirius was concerned, as the letter was addressed from home, and he rarely got letters from his parents or family otherwise.

Remus looked up when they all walked in, wondering who had sent Sirius the letter. Sirius sat on his bed, saying, "Letter from my parents," with a frown.

"Oh," Remus frowned, setting his book down as Peter sat in one of the armchairs in the room.

James sat in the chair next to Peter's, saying, "Let's hope it isn't a howler."

"I certainly hope not," Sirius mumbled.

"It doesn't look like a howler," Remus said mildly.

Sirius said, "Well, one way to find out," as he slit the top open with a finger, tensing and waiting for it to start screaming, which it thankfully didn't. He released a breath and took out the letter, unfolding the decorated paper and mentally rolling his eyes at his mother's taste as he started scanning it, frowning further as he read.

Remus frowned, watching his face as he read and sharing a glance with Peter. James was the first to ask, "Soo...?" carefully, which apparently was the wrong thing to ask. Sirius simply grimaced, appearing to scan over the paper again shortly before crumpling it, tossing it rather roughly into a trashcan and standing. "Sirius?" James asked, watching the other boy silently storm across the room, opening the door and slamming it shut behind him, making James wince.

Peter flinched, Remus frowning and standing to pick the paper out of the bin, reading it over briefly before frowning, mumbling, "Oh," and dropping it back heading out after Sirius. James read it next, frowning and handing it to Peter, asking, "Should we just let Remus handle it?"

"Yes," Peter said after scanning the letter, "he won't really want to talk to us anyways."

James nodded, mumbling, "Didn't figure," before tossing it back in the bin and figuring he'd let Sirius do the honors of lighting the letter of Sirius' disownment on fire.

Remus barely caught the movement of the common's door closing, running out after Sirius and nearly tripping on the doorframe. A few students watched him pass curiously, wondering what had just happened (and no too few jokes about them breaking up being had). Sirius had moved onto a staircase, walking down them briskly and hoping it would move before anyone could follow.

Remus flipped off those students, managing to climb onto the staircase just before it moved and running down them. Sirius jumped the last two stairs, stalking off and repelling any students in his path, who could practically feel his inner turmoil. Remus raced after him, calling, "Come on, Sirius, wait up," as he stumbled on the landing of the last few stairs.

Sirius growled, "Not in the mood for standing still," as he continued walking at a brisk pace down another set of stairs.

"Where are you going?" Remus asked, jumping after him.

"Haven't the slightest," Sirius said shortly, continuing down stairs.

Remus frowned, continuing to follow him down several flights of steps and hallways. They ended up on the fourth floor in a hidden room behind the Mirror of Erised, which they had discovered during their third year. Remus followed him into the room cautiously, lighting a candle as he passed. Sirius released a pent up breath, carding his hands through his hair and groaning, cursing under his breath and sitting down.

"Are you ok?" Remus asked, sitting in a chair facing his.

Sirius snorted, "Why should I be upset? I was only just disowned by my family for hanging out with my best friends and for loving my brother."

"That's not what I asked," Remus said, leaning forwards slightly.

"Long story short? No, right now I'm not exactly okay," Sirius grumbled, resting his face in his hands.

"I'm sorry," Remus said, "your family doesn't know what they're talking about."

"Damn right they don't, but it still sort've hurts, even though y'know we've hated each other for years," Sirius said.

Remus frowned, "Well, hey, I still love you." He then blinked, freezing and holding his breath, wishing he could take back words.

Sirius gave pause to that, studying Remus and saying, "Like...usual friendship love right?" with a bit of skepticism.

"Uh," Remus said, his eyes still wide with horror, "yes. That."

Sirius gave him another look, standing and starting forward, saying, "You're a bloody idiot," before bending down to experimentally give him a kiss. Remus made a startled "mmfh" noise, stunned for a brief moment before having the presence of mind to kiss him back. Sirius pulled back, swallowing and chuckling, "You're also a terrible liar."

"I am," Remus agreed, still in shock.

"Glad we're in agreement," Sirius said, forgetting a sense of logic and perhaps a bit too caught up in the moment to care for Remus' sanity, glad the chair he was sitting in didn't have arms as he suddenly found himself straddling Remus' lap and bending forward for another kiss. Remus squeaked, unable to properly respond with Sirius on his lap. Sirius chuckled, pulling back again and asking, "Too much?" with a sheepish grin. Remus blinked at him, trying to make sure his heart hadn't stopped. Sirius pat his shoulder, saying, "Right. I've been able to guess for awhile, actually," he blushed faintly.

"Guess what?" Remus squeaked.

Sirius resisted asking 'what' in response and instead rubbed his neck, saying, "That you've had a thing for me, man. Half the school's been making rumors about it for at least two years now."

"Oh," Remus mumbled, turning red, "thought you only liked girls, so."

"I play a bit for both fields, depending on the girl," he smirked wolfishly. Remus rolled his eyes for the ceiling, pretending that he wasn't still red. "To be honest, the fact you were a werewolf kind of sold it for me," Sirius continued. "I mean, how often can you say you're dating a werewolf?"

Remus gave him a look, saying, " _Really_?"

"Really we're dating or 'really-you-still-have-a-death-wish'?" Sirius asked with a smirk.

"Yes," Remus said, still seeming to not quite believe what happened.

"Hm, let's see if I can answer your question," Sirius said, leaning and kissing him a third time, putting an experimental hand on his chest.

Remus wrapped a hand behind Sirius's neck, the other resting on his side as he recovered. Sirius found himself relieved he had been correct in his assumptions about Remus, all other thoughts temporarily driven from his mind as he continued the kiss, putting a hand on Remus' jaw. After a moment Remus pulled back, murmuring, "We need to get back into the commons."

"Do we?" Sirius groaned, the other unwelcome thought about the letter returning.

"Filch is watching the halls," Remus sighed.

"We should've borrowed the cloak," Sirius grumbled, though he somewhat reluctantly slid backwards off Remus' lap into a stand.

Remus stood shakily, staring at Sirius for a moment before asking, "Are you sure?"

Sirius rolled his eyes, ruffling Remus' hair and saying, "I told you you were an idiot, of course I'm sure."

"Ok," Remus said, grinning.

"Anyway, we need to get back so I can burn that letter," Sirius sighed, moving out of the room. "James' map idea would come in handy right about now..."

"It would," Remus said, following him out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and just like that wolfstar is a thing :3


	9. Names

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as promised, here's that second-chapter-in-one-day promise i made to a reader awhile ago ^_^

They made it back to the commons in one piece, just barely avoiding Mrs. Norris on the floor above. They were both panting slightly from the run up the stairs, Sirius clapping Remus on the shoulder with a grin as they leaned against the back of the commons door. Remus grinned, panting but still happy about how things had turned out. Sirius leaned up from the wall after he realized there were still some students awake, saying, "C'mon, James and Peter are probably getting concerned."

"Alright," Remus said, leading the way to their dorm.

James looked over when Remus opened the door, saying, "Heeey, you found him," with a grin upon seeing Sirius.

"Yeah," Remus said, "found him."

James said, "How you holdin' up, man?" as he stood, patting Sirius' shoulder.

"Bit better," Sirius replied before trying a grin and moving to the bin, taking his wand out and saying, "Incendio," as it pointed towards the letter, setting it on fire. Remus glanced to the ceiling before heading towards his bed, quickly returning to his reading.

Sirius sat on his own bed to watch the fire, James saying, "We'll...think about it later. Want to focus on the map, maybe? It'd be a nice break from animagus practice."

"Sure," Remus said, glancing at the sky, "and it's only a few days away anyways."

They nodded with a general frown, Sirius saying, "We'll keep practicing. James, did you think on the password?"

"Nothing solid, but I do have a name for it," he grinned, holding up a piece of folded parchment.

"What?" Remus asked, glancing over his shoulder to James.

"The Marauder's Map," he said proudly. "We can all sign it with codenames. If it works, a piece of art like this shouldn't go unsigned."

"Sounds good to me," Remus shrugged, Peter saying, "We need names, though."

Sirius rubbed his chin, saying, "They could revolve around our animagi?"

"Sure," Remus said, "you can be bitch face..."

Sirius gave him a look as James burst into laughter, falling back onto his bed. Peter snorted heavily, trying to cover his face and reaction with his hands as he laughed. Sirius said, "Don't make me start calling you Moony."

"That's a terrible name," Remus said, "I _hate_ nicknames."

James chortled, "Yeah, but Moony is...actually a pretty good cover name, I'd say."

"Oh, come on, really?" Remus complained.

James said, "Okay, if you hate yours, think of a better one. Or think up one for him in exchange; since he came up with yours it's only fair."

"I don't know," Remus grumbled, flopping on the bed onto his back "does bitch face work?"

"I do enjoy the ring to it," James said with sarcasm, "but I think they should all be similar. In other words, to go with Moony, names that are simple and short."

"What about Scooby doo?" Remus asked.

James snorted, "That's adorable, but if a pureblood finds this map and manages to activate it they won't get the reference."

"If it's a pureblood they wouldn't be able to guess who I’d be, either," Remus said.

Sirius said, "The point is they should somewhat roll together, and leave enough mystery to not give us blatantly away."

James snorted, "Because the Marauder's Map isn't going to give us away."

Peter started to say "Well it's not like we can just call James..." before Remus finished asking, "Can we call James Horny?"

Sirius fell out of his bed from laughter, James sighing, "No, you can not call me Horny. Perhaps some other variation of a descriptive term for antler."

"Pointy?" Peter suggested though gasping laughs.

James rolled his eyes as Sirius appeared to be unable to breathe as of yet. James said, "I don't know, but I'm thinking Fluffy would be cute for Sirius."

Sirius calmed slightly at that, saying, "If I'm Fluffy, can Peter be Wormtail?"

"Aw come on," Peter said, Remus saying, "You can be Spot."

James snorted, "Come on guys. Spot is too childish, but I do somewhat like Wormtail. I mean who'd guess we're talking about a rat?"

Peter stuck out his tongue, Remus saying, "It's decent."

"Are we keeping Moony?" Sirius asked with a smirk to Remus.

"Can we not?" Remus sighed.

James asked, "Why not? We still need one for Sirius and I, anyway. Names that _aren't_ suggestive," he added firmly.

"Fine," Remus groaned, "just don't call me that in real life, please."

Sirius chuckled, "I'll try to resist. And if Pointy and Horny don't work, and we can't just call you Antlers, how about...we each have a name with the letter O? Wormtail and Moony are covered."

"Pointy has an o in it," Remus pointed out.

James groaned, "I'd have taken Moony over Pointy. But...what about something like Prongs?"

"Sounds decent," Remus shrugged.

Sirius said, "So all that's left is a name for a dog that isn't Spot or Bitch or any variation thereof."

"Paws?" Remus tried, leaning back against the wall.

Sirius shook his head, saying, "Doesn't have an o."

"You're on to something though, I think," James said. "Another theme in the names is that they're all a different word for part of our animal forms."

"Paw foot," Remus said, "has an o in it."

"Closer," James admitted, rubbing his chin before snapping and saying, "Padfoot?"

"Sounds more cat-ish to me," Remus said.

Sirius shrugged, "All the better for cover, I think."

"Alright paddy, I guess that works then," Remus said.

Sirius gave Remus a look as James said, "So we've got Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs."

"The MWPP," Remus said, "awe inspiring."

Sirius chuckled, "I'll say, but I also think we can call it the Marauder's Map if no one from this generation of Hogwarts finds and activates it."

"Sure," Remus said, Peter saying "sounds good."

James said, "So all it needs now is a pass code."

"You work your mischief, I’ll be trying to read," Remus said, opening his book.

James blinked, saying, "That's it!"

"Making the password I'm trying to read?" Sirius asked.

"No, something about causing mischief," James clarified.

"That's just about all you do," Remus said.

James smiled, "Which is why it's a perfect pass code! Is there a way to make a second password to make the map, like, turn off, I guess?"

"Sure," Remus said, "whatever you think, James."

James said, "Well I want you three to have an opinion on it as well."

"We should have it say something different if someone says the wrong password," Peter suggested.

"I like that," James said with enthusiasm, pointing to Peter to emphasize his point.

Sirius said, "It could insult them if they get it wrong? People would think it's just a piece of paper meant for insulting people."

"I think you'd do great with the insults," Remus said.

Sirius grinned, "It's what I live for, mate."

Remus gave him a slightly suspicious look for the word usage, Peter saying, "We should come up with the real password first."

James nodded, "Probably a good idea. Hm...should it have something to do with wanting to use the Map for mischief?"

"What, just say 'I’m up to no good'?" Remus said, "that's not suspicious."

James grinned slowly, "Yeah, just like that. I swear I'm up to no good."

Sirius rubbed his chin, saying, "I don't know, it feels like it's missing a word."

"I swear I’m going to make a huge mess?" Remus suggested.

James said, "Cute," with an amused look.

Sirius said, "No, just like...a descriptive word for swearing."

"I solemnly curse," Peter said.

"Solemnly swear," James breathed.

"I solemnly swear I am up to no good," Sirius grinned, climbing back onto his mattress and leaning on the wall.

"It has a nice ring to it," Remus admitted.

James said, "That's settled then, but what about the closer?"

"Quick before someone sees," Peter said.

"It has potential," James mused, "but I was thinking something shorter."

"Should it have the word mischief?" Sirius asked.

"It can," Remus said, "finished mischief?"

James shook his head, saying, "Closer, definitely, but it doesn't roll off the tongue like the opener."

"You could make it an alliteration," Remus said, half-going back to his book.

Sirius groaned, "It's harder to manage to make a password than you'd think," as his head thumped into his pillow.

"Manage would be an alliteration," Peter said.

"Mischief managed?" James suggested, glancing around for confirmation.

Peter shrugged, Remus saying, "Sounds good."

Sirius nodded, saying, "I like it. Well then, fellow Marauders, now we just need the spells to make it."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you're all gonna have to hang in there, not all our chapters can be fluff/action filled. it's hard to try to stay close to canon with them being in school >_>


	10. Up for Debate

James yawned, "Sure, but can the map wait until tomorrow?"

"Yes," Remus said immediately, "I’ve got to get my work done."

Sirius glanced to him, saying, "Alright then. I might move to the commons if you want to sleep, James."

James rubbed a hand through his hair, saying, "I _am_ a bit tuckered out, not entirely sure why."

"Probably all the burned brain cells from planning just now," Sirius smirked.

"Also, it's kind of late by now," Remus reminded them.

Sirius shrugged, "I've been up later, and I'm not tired. I'll be _in the commons_ ," he stressed a bit, standing and stretching before heading towards the door.

James asked, "You want to bring some parchment or something with you?"

"Oh, right, good idea," Sirius said, turning back into the room to grab some supplies out of his desk.

Remus rolled his eyes, standing and saying, "I'm going to go read by the fire.”

James yawned again, saying, "Alright, not too late kids," with a smirk, standing to take his robe off. Remus gave him a look, tucking his book under his arm.

Sirius was already in an armchair he had claimed years ago by the fire, waiting for the last of the other students to file out of the room. Remus walked over, considering briefly before simply sitting in Sirius's lap. Sirius blinked, looking up and smirking, "I don't recall using the cloak, Rem, so I'm pretty sure you knew I was here."

"No, you just blended really well with the chair," Remus said.

"I'm sure," Sirius chuckled, setting his parchment and quill aside. Remus smirked, opening his book and leaning against the arm of the chair. Sirius glanced to the book, setting his chin on Remus' shoulder and asking, "You'd rather read a book than spend time with the guy you're sitting on?"

"I don't know, he's not doing anything in particular right now," Remus said.

"Would you like him to be?" Sirius smirked, kissing his neck.

"Maybe," Remus grinned, tilting his head.

"I daresay I've put it off long enough," Sirius mumbled, nuzzling under his jaw.

Remus hummed, tilting his head further and setting the book aside. Sirius slipped a hand behind Remus' back, setting another on his stomach and kissing his jaw as he rubbed Remus' stomach slowly.

"Shame we're in the commons," Remus mumbled.

"And a shame our room is being infested with two gits," Sirius grinned against his skin.

"That is an issue," Remus frowned.

"You're the one who said we have to leave the room behind the mirror," Sirius reminded him.

"Because curfew," Remus reminded him.

"Screw curfew," Sirius grumbled, scooting over slightly and making Remus slip backwards, allowing Sirius to bend over him a bit better and kiss him. Remus started for a second before grinning, kissing him back and tangling a hand in Sirius's hair. Sirius mumbled, "The one time my hair is useful to you," with a grin, nipping his lip. Remus grinned, tugging Sirius's hair lightly and twisting his torso for a better angle. "This might've been easier if I had sat on the couch," Sirius said, some of his hair escaping from behind his ear.

"Probably," Remus said, tucking his hair back.

"Prefer to move?" Sirius asked, ignoring the gesture.

"Do you?" Remus asked.

Sirius hummed in thought, replying, "A bit," after a moment, "but this is rather comfortable."

"It is," Remus said, "though we have to go back soon."

Sirius groaned, "I'm starting to think you fessed up to this just to make me mad we can't spend more time together."

"It was kind of an accident," Remus reminded him.

"I'm sure," Sirius chuckled skeptically, giving him another kiss.

"It was," Remus mumbled, resting his forehead against Sirius'.

"Best slip up of your life, I'll wager," Sirius smirked.

"Probably," Remus admitted, settling comfortably. Sirius shifted to be half-laying beside Remus, propping his head in his hand with his elbow on the arm of the chair, the other hand around Remus' side. "This is weirdly comfortable," Remus said, resting his head on the arm of the chair.

"I'll say," Sirius said, looking down at him, "but we'll have to be careful not to fall asleep. That'd be an interesting morning."

"Yes it would," Remus said, "we should move up in a minute."

Sirius thought a moment, asking, "Can we move to the couch for a second?"

"Yes," Remus said, hauling himself up.

"Excellent," Sirius grinned, standing and setting a hand on Remus' shoulder before he could sit, turning him around and then pushing him onto the couch, continuing to lean them over into a laying down position and kissing the crook of his neck.

Remus grinned, asking, "Why are you always the one doing this?"

"Am I correct in assuming you want a turn?" Sirius asked, running a hand down Remus' thigh.

"Maybe," Remus grinned, leaning up to kiss him

Sirius kissed him back, saying, "Alright, we can trade, or if you think there's no time you can always have tomorrow night."

"We're pressed for time," Remus said, "but tomorrow is the night before the full."

Sirius paused, frowning and saying, "Ah, so...I take it that means you'd rather try now before you get twitchy?"

"Twitchy is not quite the word," Remus mumbled.

"What would you prefer, then?" Sirius asked, scooting to lie beside Remus and propping his head in his hand again.

"Well, in about a minute we'd have to stop anyways," Remus said, "James is going to come down to try to catch us."

"I know he is, but I was more asking about what word you'd prefer other than twitchy," Sirius grinned.

"Uhh," Remus said, "for that I’d say more… demanding maybe."

Sirius raised a brow, saying, "Oh, so I'm definitely gonna need to stick with you during the full then," with a widening smirk.

"No," Remus said firmly, rolling to stand.

Sirius frowned, sitting up and saying, "You're gonna take away my cuddling for this?"

Remus sighed, leaning back down and saying, "You're really good at guilt tripping."

Sirius grinned, wrapping his arms around him and carding a hand through his hair, saying, "I try, but really, we went through all the effort of becoming animagi to help you. Why won't you let us try?"

"Because it's dangerous," Remus said, "insanely so. I don't want to maul someone."

"Maybe you've forgotten, Rem, but we're in a school of witchcraft. We all know defensive spells, though we'd hate to use them on you, admittedly. But we can't just stand back and do nothing."

Remus frowned, saying, "Maybe."

"You never know whether we'll be able to help unless you let us try," Sirius pointed out.

He hesitated for a long moment before saying, "Fine. But not this month."

Sirius groaned, "Why not?"

"You're not good enough at your animagus yet," Remus said, "none of you are."

"That's why we've been practicing," Sirius contradicted, "and we don't all have to come along."

"That's worse," Remus said, "next month."

Sirius frowned, saying, "Fine, take it over with James and Peter tomorrow, but I'm not helping you dissuade them."

"Fine," Remus sighed, "come on, it's getting late."

Sirius groaned, standing with Remus and mumbling something about him using his cuteness to his advantage. Remus didn't comment, instead grabbing his book and heading to the dorm. Sirius grabbed his parchment and followed Remus up, trying very hard not to watch his ass and failing for the most part before he finally started quietly opening the door, which whacked James in the head, as he'd been eavesdropping and hadn't heard them approach.

Remus snorted, saying, "That's what you get," as Peter darted back to his bed.

James rubbed his head, saying, "You can't blame me," as he went to sit on his own bed.

"I can blame you," Remus said, sitting in his bed.

James grumbled, "Oh come on, we've been trying to catch you two for years. Can't stop us now," as his head thumped into his pillow.

"Nothing's been happening for years," Remus said.

James said, "Uh huh, sure," as Sirius took his robe off and threw it aside to land on a chair. He glanced to James to make sure he and Peter weren't paying attention before making a subtle show out of taking his shirt off and rifling through his trunk for a pajama shirt. Remus gave him a look, crossing his arms and going to grab his pj's. Sirius smirked over his shoulder, tugging the new shirt on and sitting back on his bed.

James asked, "You make any progress on brainstorming, Sirius?" with his arm over his eyes.

"Not really," Sirius sighed.

"No," Remus said, "he tired his brain out already."

Sirius glared at him, James chuckling, "Don't worry man, I'm right there with you." Remus stuck his tongue out at Sirius before shucking his shirt off, as he didn't sleep with one on anyways. Sirius was glad James had his glasses off, making it much easier to casually watch Remus, momentarily forgetting about Peter being in the room.

Peter raised a brow at Sirius, having seen him watching Remus. Sirius snapped his gaze away and lay back, looking to Peter's curious expression and dragging his thumb across his throat in the classic "not a word or I'll kill you" gesture.

Peter looked quickly towards the wall, already in his pajamas and hopping into his bed. Sirius was glad it appeared to have worked, leaning back and hooking his hands behind his head. Remus tucked his legs into the covers, sighing and looking at the waxing moon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> remus and sirius arent wasting any time are they? XP dont worry it wont ALL be fluff, exciting stuff is coming up


	11. Werewolf

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> agh i'm sorry it's taking so long, we've been trying to plan what's happening in this fic and we're writing two more at the same time and its a clusterfuck. as an apology have a longer chapter with more action in it :D

James said, "We know you always leave the morning of the moon, that means we have to resolve this today," as they walked from the Great Hall to the Gryffindor commons. "We're coming with you."

"No you're not," Remus said, "you can try maybe next month."

James said, "We've had plenty of practice. Why not?"

"Because you're not practiced enough,” he said.

Sirius said, "Told you he'd take it well," as they started up a staircase.

James huffed, "I didn't expect him to be so resilient about it!" They were stopped halfway up the stairs by a scowling black-haired teenager with his arms crossed, Remus frowning. James smirked a bit evilly, saying, "Ah, it's been awhile, gutter-snape."

"Getting into trouble again?" Snape said, distain almost visibly dripping from the words.

James took a step around him to be on the same stair, ending up the same height and asking, "What's it to you?"

"Careful James, you might slip on his hair if you stand too close," Sirius said from beside Remus.

Remus rolled his eyes, Snape saying, "How's the family going, Black? I heard you're in a bit of trouble... I don't think I can call you that anymore."

Sirius glared at him, gently pushing Remus aside and jumping to Snape's stair as well, standing on his other side as he growled, "Watch it, Snape. I'd shave your head if I wanted the name back so badly; it'd be a fine replacement."

Remus frowned, grabbing Sirius's arm and tugging him back gently, Snape saying, "Better go along with your girlfriend, black."

Sirius yanked his arm out of Remus' grip, using his other arm as James moved out of the way just in time for Sirius to ram Snape against the stair rail. "Are you looking to get tossed over the stairwell?" Sirius growled. "Because if it's a broken neck you want there are plenty better ways to go about it."

"Sirius," Remus said, glaring at Snape, "he's not worth it."

James said, "You'll face expulsion if you drop him from this height and kill him. Just meet him after class on a second story and shove him out a window," he pat Sirius' shoulder.

"He doesn't have the guts," Snape drawled, largely unimpressed.

James gave Snape a look, saying, "Well I'd hate to deprave you of the opportunity to have your bones broken, so I'll see you after class," as he tightened his hand on Sirius' shoulder and pulled him back. Remus took Sirius's elbow and pulled him with James, Peter scurrying around Snape. Sirius rolled his shoulders and resisted the urge to punch Snape, turning and stalking up the stairs instead.

Remus saw Bellatrix approaching next, mumbling "oh no," and trying to angle them away from her. James helped try to steer Sirius away, the latter determined not to make eye contact with his older cousin.

"Did you get your letter yet?" Bell laughed, "I don’t even know what to call you anymore, Siri."

"Piss off, Bella," James glared, Sirius resisting very hard not to take his wand out.

"Aww, is widdle Siri upset?" Bella said, adopting a babying tone, "does he need a widdle nap? He cant go to mommy anymore."

Remus mumbled something under his breath. Sirius glared to her, saying, "James," simply, who thought a moment and took his hand off Sirius' shoulder. Sirius immediately walked to her, saying, "Well, I got one wish. I wasn't fond of being related to a family of freeloading biased idiots anyway."

"We didn't like having some do-good brainless spineless blood traitor either," she snapped, straightening to stand taller than him.

He straightened as well, growling, "How could I have been a blood traitor when I was only being supportive of my brother?" James' hand hovered over his wand just in case.

"You hang around that scum, first off," she said, gesturing to Remus, Peter, and James, "and he's got the wrong ideas too."

"His ideas were more creative and brilliant than the rest of you lot combined," Sirius said, "and I guess that just makes me part of the scum of the earth too, but at least we know how to live a full life."

"Life full of filth," she said, "have fun. Things are going to start changing real soon."

"I'm sure I'll have more fun than you will," Sirius shrugged with a smug expression, turning to walk off with James throwing Bella a look over his shoulder. Remus didn't even bother giving her a look, instead following Sirius and resisting the urge to tear her throat out and eat it... maybe it was a bit too close to the full moon.

When they were far enough away, James said, "You handled that surprisingly well."

Sirius said, "If I let her get to me I'd have detention for months at a time for the things I'd do to her."

"Let's maybe avoid them for a while," Remus said, "were we going to get breakfast, though?"

James nodded, "I think it'd be a good idea. Also we're coming with you tomorrow."

"No, you're not," Remus said, "one mistake and i've mauled you."

James said, "I really don't think you give our magic capabilities enough credit."

"I don't think you give my abilities the enough consideration," Remus frowned.

Sirius said, "Probably not, but would it really make you feel that much better if we don't join you tomorrow?" as James threw Sirius a look.

"Yes," Remus said, "I'm fine with taking it out on myself, i don't want to be mauling you guys,"

Sirius said, "While I can't say that _I'm_ alright with you taking it out on yourself...fine. I won't go tomorrow if you're so against it."

"Awh come on!" James groaned as Sirius gave him a look.

"Thank you," Remus said, relaxing a little. James caught the look and raised a brow, making sure Remus wasn't looking and nodding almost imperceptibly to Sirius, who nodded back in agreement. Remus didn't notice the ever-so-subtle nods, instead simply leading the way to the dining hall.

They sat down in their usual spots, Sirius and James across from Remus and Peter, all immediately digging in to the buffet. Sirius selected french toast and sausage as James grabbed some bacon and eggs.

Remus piled eggs, sausage, and a possibly inhuman quantity of bacon onto his dish, digging in quickly. Sirius and James paused in their meals to watch him, Sirius coughing quietly and saying, "Oi, might not want to wolf down that food quite so fast," with a small smile.

James smirked, "Yeah, you could get a stomachache." Remus gave Sirius a look but slowed down to a slightly more respectable pace. James returned to concentrating on his own breakfast, Sirius winking at Remus before returning to his food as well, hoping he didn't just cause Remus to choke.

Remus shot him another look, saying, "I should probably go after breakfast."

James looked up at that, saying, "I thought you weren't gonna leave until tomorrow."

"Well, first of all I can’t leave exactly then every time," Remus said, "and this moon is stronger due to the season."

"Ah," James said, looking a bit downcast at the news and picking at his eggs.

"It's not that bad," Remus offered.

Sirius mumbled, "Sort've is, as it means less time..." and trailed off, James raising a brow at him and getting a firm kick from Sirius under the table. James flinched and rubbed his shin as Sirius smirked. Remus gave Sirius a look, greatly resisting the urge to cut the last sausage on his dish in half while keeping eye contact with Sirius. Sirius said, "Anyway," ignoring the fork poised over Remus' sausage link, "we'll miss the debauchery."

Remus casually impaled the breakfast food, saying, "I'd just stay in Hogsmeade a night."

Sirius coughed quietly before drinking some pumpkin juice, not able to reciprocate easily as James said, "Sounds like a plan."

"Great," Remus said, "I’d have to leave my books here."

They nodded, Sirius saying, "We'll make sure no one sets them on fire," with a grin.

"I'm sure," Remus mumbled, biting the sausage.

Sirius looked down to his plate in sudden fascination, James saying, "Yeah, but no promises."

"Thanks," Remus said sarcastically, sipping on his orange juice.

"No problem," James grinned, drinking pumpkin juice.

"Though you did have a point, I might leave around lunch time actually," Remus said, "i have to finish an essay."

Sirius groaned, "Make up your mind, man."

"Well, if you want me to leave early," he shrugged.

"No, not really," Sirius said.

James added, "You know we love having you around, dude. Plus I hear the muggleborns are planning a flash mob soon and I'd hate for you to miss the details."

"What kind of flash mob?" Remus asked, immediately interested.

James lowered his voice, saying, "I think it's for the song YMCA," with a growing smile.

"I don't want to miss that," Remus grinned.

Sirius said, "It'll be by the lake the night after the full, if we can get them to hold off."

"When else would it be?" Remus frowned.

James said, "I know, but we figure we can scare them enough into buying a story about how there's a lake monster that comes out only on the full."

"Hopefully," Remus frowned, "I mean, it's almost impossible that I... but still."

"It'll be alright, plus, they'll be on school grounds," James said softly.

"If you say so," he said.

"I do say so," James grinned.

"Fine," Remus said, "I'll leave some time before lunch, then."

Sirius pouted, "Alright, if you must."

"I've got to be safe," Remus sighed, nibbling some end-of-breakfast toast.

James shrugged, "You know better than we do, man."

~~~~~~~

Remus was packing a quick overnight bag in the dorm, alone in the room as Peter was getting extra help from a teacher, James was stealing food from the kitchen, and Sirius was writing a paper in the commons.

Sirius was determined to see Remus off before going through with their plan to follow him to the shack anyway. James and Sirius were being infinitely stubborn about wanting to help him. Remus was slinging his bag over his shoulder before noticing Sirius standing in the doorway, pausing and turning to face him.

"You sure you'll be alright?" Sirius asked, arms crossed.

"Sirius, I do this every month," Remus said, "I'll be fine."

Sirius frowned, saying, "Not exactly comforting, Rem."

"Well, it's not... something new?" Remus said, "I'll be fine."

"Mmhm," Sirius frowned. "I'll be seeing you in the hospital wing tomorrow morning."

"Of course," Remus said, leaning up slightly to kiss his cheek. Sirius took a deep breath, standing off the wall and giving Remus a hug. "I'll be fine," Remus said, patting Sirius's back, "it's not the end of the world."

"Feels like it," Sirius mumbled, resting his chin in Remus' hair.

"It's not like I don't know how to handle this," Remus said.

"I know," Sirius sighed, pulling back and leaving a hand on his shoulder, "I just feel bad that you have to put up with it."

"I put up with you and James," Remus grinned, "how much worse could it be?"

Sirius snorted, "Thanks, I feel special," before bending to kiss him.

Remus grinned, straightening a bit to match him and repeating, "I'll be fine."

"You'd better be," Sirius said, clapping his shoulder before moving to let him pass.

"See you later," Remus said, shouldering the bag again and heading out of the dorm.

~~~~~~~

That night, James, Sirius, and Peter sat in the room behind the mirror on the fourth floor. Sirius said, "You realize we're not all going to fit under the cloak anymore, and Peter hasn't mastered his animagus yet."

James nodded, "I know, that's why I was working on the map last night and we're going to hope it works so we can avoid Filch on our way to the willow."

"Am I supposed to come?" Peter asked, "or should i stay here and cover for you."

Sirius said, "I think that's up to you, man. Might be good to have someone here so if we're mauled terribly someone can be here to tell everyone what happened."

James said, "That being our heroic deed of repelling trolls from the school grounds."

Sirius groaned, "I told you no one would buy that, James."

"I don't want to accidentally slip back into human," Peter frowned, "I should stay here."

James nodded, "Fine by me. Hold the fort, Pete. If we die, and I don't plan to," he sniffled dramatically, "tell Lily...I loved her," he clutched a hand to his heart, Sirius rolling his eyes and shoving James over.

"I'm sure she'll be shocked," Peter mumbled, "are you sure this is a good idea?"

James said, "We'll be fine. I didn't go through a month and a half of animagus practice to be told I can't put it to use."

"If you say so," Peter said, "make sure he doesn't leave the shack."

Sirius nodded, "We know, Peter. My main goal is to stop him from hurting himself."

"I know, i'd just be very careful,” Peter said.

"We will be," Sirius said, patting his shoulder.

"I'll cover for you, then," Peter said, very much relieved.

James grinned, "Thanks man. And, in all seriousness, if we _don't_ come back by tomorrow at, I don't know, nine-ish, it's been a pleasure pranking with you."

"Right," Peter said, shaking he and Sirius' hands.

Sirius nodded, "It's been fun. See you tomorrow," he grinned as James opened the door, checking his map and gesturing for Sirius to follow.

Remus left his books and wand in the small room he had in the back of the leaky cauldron, by late evening preparing himself and heading off to the shack.

Sirius and James eventually made it out of the castle under the cloak, carefully maneuvering and figuring it definitely wouldn't do to get crushed by the willow before they could get to the shack, taking the longer route through Hogsmeade after they summoned broomsticks to fly on.

Moments after the moon rose, and as they landed outside the shack, they could hear a long, high-pitched howl from within. James and Sirius exchanged a look, James taking his wand out and setting his broom against a tree. Sirius frowned and asked, "We going through with this?"

"For his sake, we have to," James said, "though I imagine he's gonna be bloody pissed in the morning."

"I know," Sirius groaned before they started inside.

The howling stopped abruptly once they entered the building, leaving it in sudden eerie silence. Sirius looked to James and focused while he had time, turning into a dog and agreeing to go first, since James, as a deer, would be much more likely targeted as prey.

There was a sudden howl again, much louder and closer, appearing to be running up towards them. Sirius' ears tilted back, growling and not barking, as he had to consciously keep in mind this was Remus they were after.

There was a sound of running footsteps and a large werewolf jumped from the shadows, growling again and completely ignoring Sirius to run at James. Sirius barked in concern, James having just enough mental stamina to cast, "Stupefy!" at the large wolf and dive to the side.

The spell hardly affected him, Remus nowhere in the wolf as it swiped at James, howling again. James dodged as a large black shape barreled into the werewolf, Sirius growling and jumping onto Remus' back, feeling bad but biting his shoulder.

The wolf growled, jerking his arm and rearing up, sending Sirius slamming into a wall. He hardly hesitated before lunging for James again. Sirius shook himself off and ran at Remus again, James frowning and only getting halfway through a spell before the wolf knocked his wand aside, clawing his arm in the process. Sirius bit Remus' ankle, pulling backwards and continuing to growl, hoping James would get out of there or have the brain to transform. The wolf howled, turning to Sirius and kicking him hard in the chest, its attention more correctly caught as it tore at his ribs.

Sirius whined, rolling away and running off up some rickety stairs. He was chased by the wolf and quickly caught up to. Once he was he was thrown against the wall again, momentarily stunned. Once he stopped moving, however, the werewolf simply sniffed at him, ceasing his aggressive behavior. Sirius whimpered, backing up carefully and not sure why Remus was no longer being hostile. It sniffed at him one more time before turning to go back down the stairs in pursuit of the human scent in the house.

Sirius barked at him, standing and wincing a bit at the claw wound, continuing to bark. Thankfully, James had decided to experiment and turned into a stag with a bad leg, waiting around the opposite corner at the bottom of the stairs.

Remus descended the stairs, sniffing around and finding no trace of the human that had been there. He snorted, ignoring the stag and heading off into a different room. The deer made a grunting noise, calling down for Sirius, who slowly made his way down after them. They exchanged looks, James leading the way to where he had seen Remus move.

The wolf was in the process of shredding the filling out of the back of a chair, throwing the dismembered frame against the wall. Sirius and James flinched, Sirius using his head to try to tell James to stay put as he trotted into the room, picked up a pillow with his mouth and wagged his tail, bending his front legs down in invitation of tug-of-war he had often seen normal dogs do. The wolf glanced to him, considering for a moment before ignoring him again, suddenly turning and clawing his own side. Sirius whined, dropping the pillow and barking, James stepping into the room and clipping his hoof on the floor repeatedly. 

The wolf whined minutely in response, licking at the wound and rolling over suddenly, curling up against the wall. Sirius tilted his head, looking at James, who gave a shrug (looking funny in deer form). Sirius gave him a look and could almost feel James' amused smirk as he watched Sirius trot to sit by the wolf, barking again. The wolf whined again, scratching at his own paw almost absentmindedly.

Sirius growled quietly in frustration, nudging Remus' shoulder with his nose. The wolf growled at him but didn't otherwise move, instead resting his head on his paws. Sirius sat down, tail wagging as he figured this wasn't a horrible way to spend the night. The wolf ignored him again, instead looking to the stag standing by the door. James made another grunting sound, taking a step back and preparing to bolt in case Remus decided he was hungry.

He was studied for a long moment before the wolf settled his head back, scratching at his nose. Sirius figured it might end up being a bad idea, but he certainly wasn't about to sit back and watch Remus scratch himself up all night. He pawed at the wolf's side experimentally, wagging his tail again and seeing if play wrestling was a thing for werewolves. The wolf ignored him other than to huff a less-than-threatening growl.

Sirius continued nudging at him with his nose, seeing if anything would work, as watching Remus sit there was a bit sad. The wolf used an elbow to push him away lightly, though he stopped scratching his snout. Sirius made an upset huff, trotting around to try to sit between Remus and the wall, poking at his stomach. The wolf growled half-heartedly, curling his tail around himself. Sirius' ears tilted back in growing impatience, looking to James, who shrugged again. Sirius huffed another breath before lying down, experimentally licking Remus' front paw.

The wolf's only reaction was to tuck his paw in, raising his head to look at Sirius. Sirius wagged his tail again, not even sure why he did it and blaming new dog instinct as his tongue lolled out and he started panting with a happy expression. The wolf huffed at him, setting its head down again. Sirius retracted his tongue, laying his head down as well, though his tail continued to wag as they prepared to wait through the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> credit for the YMCA muggleborn flash mob idea:
> 
> http://siriusish.tumblr.com/post/80894398269/just-imagine-muggleborns-in-hogwarts-organising-a


	12. In the Morning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ugh we're sorry, we had this huge writer's block with this fic. now that we've figured out how to overcome it hopefully we'll be updating more often. then again I'm starting college tomorrow so who knows how that'll go over

Remus woke up in pain, as was usual for the morning after a full moon. he groaned, feeling something off and opening his eyes, inhaling sharply when he realized Sirius was on top of him.

Sirius was far from dead, only passed out with an arm over Remus, snoring quietly and fully clothed. Turns out at such an early stage in their animagi practice, they couldn't hold their animal form while they slept. James had, thankfully, chosen to leave them to doze off and went to sleep as a deer on the couch.

Remus struggled out from under him and checked his pulse quickly, before running to grab the spare robe he kept hidden under the stairs. He pulled it on, ignoring his own injuries to run back to Sirius, who hadn't stirred yet and had a good set of cuts on the ribs, as well as scratches and bruises. Sirius continued snoring gently, as he and James hadn't managed to drift off until well after Remus did.

"Sirius," Remus said, taking the boy's shoulders and shaking them, "wake up."

Sirius snuffled, blinking his eyes open slowly with a tired, "Wha-?"

"Are you ok?" Remus asked, scanning Sirius's face.

"Oh, hey Rem," Sirius said, yawning and sitting up, "yeah, I'm fine, James is in the other room on the couch."

"You absolute _prick_!" Remus shouted, punching Sirius's shoulder, "I told you not to come!"

Sirius hissed in a breath, rubbing the spot and saying, "I know it wasn't smart, but we're alive aren't we? And we stopped you from hurting yourself, mostly."

"I nearly killed you!" Remus snapped. "That wasn't worth the risk, bloody hell Sirius, why didn't you listen to me."

"You did _not_ nearly kill me. James on the other hand might have a nightmare or two," Sirius smirked.

"Sirius, that does not help," Remus said, "you've got gashes on your ribs."

"I'll be fine, Remus," Sirius said, standing up and stretching. "And we found out you didn't attack us when we were in animal forms."

"Clearly I did," Remus said, staring at the bloody gashes in Sirius's side.

Sirius rubbed his neck, saying, "Noo, that was from me needing to get your attention off James when he wasn't in his deer form yet."

Remus frowned, leaning back to sit and mumbling, "I'm sorry."

Sirius sat down with him, saying, "Don't be, it's our fault for coming. I do admit we might've been a little cocky about it," with a small smile, figuring he might have a mild case of bed head and combing his fingers through his hair.

"I... is James ok?" Remus asked.

Sirius nodded, "You sort've clawed his arm, but other than that he's fine." Remus frowned, rubbing his hands over his face. Sirius slowly put an arm around him, saying, "If it's any consolation, we learned a lesson about not coming here in human form anymore?"

"I could have just told you that," Remus said.

"That you only target humans and not animals in that form?" Sirius asked.

"Yes," Remus said, "I already knew that."

"How'd you find that out?" Sirius asked. "And why _didn't_ you tell us that?"

"I didn't think you'd be here!" Remus said. "I’m sorry, I didn’t want to hurt you."

Sirius said, "Like I said, our fault for coming here. As usual, we probably should've listened to your guidance," he grinned. Remus frowned, leaning in to hug him carefully. Sirius hugged him back immediately, saying, "Sorry for worrying you and all, but James will probably be asleep for another good hour."

"We need to get you both to Madame Pomfrey," Remus said.

"We're not bleeding anymore, it's fine," Sirius smirked, kissing Remus' cheek, "though it's cute that you care."

"I slashed you with my claws," Remus said, "I want you to get medical care."

Sirius raised a brow, saying, "Doesn't the werewolf thing only transfer if you'd have bitten us?"

Remus blinked, tensing and saying, "Oh my god I didn't even think of that, did I bite someone?"

"What? No, no you didn't," Sirius said quickly.

"Oh my god," Remus said, resting his head in his hands again, "I didn't even think of that."

"It's alright, we're fine," Sirius said firmly, rubbing Remus' back. "And you won't bite us if we're animals, we established that."

"But what if I do?!" Remus said. "You'll be stuck as a werewolf forever, too, and everyone knows they have no futures."

Sirius rolled his eyes, saying, "Well, for one, I'd be a werewolf with you, so that can't be too bad. Secondly, if Dumbledore allowed you to stay here as a student, maybe if he's still headmaster when we graduate he can help you find a job."

"Right," Remus mumbled, "of course. I'd probably attack you as a wolf."

Sirius shook his head, saying, "I doubt it, but don't dwell on something that won't happen. We may be idiots, but we can be careful. We'll be fine."

"I don't know," Remus mumbled.

"We have a month to keep practicing, at any rate," Sirius said, "and Peter opted not to come."

"Thank god," Remus sighed, "come on... actually can you summon my stuff?"

"Which stuff?" Sirius asked, pulling out his wand. "I'm pretty sure 'accio stuff' wouldn't work."

"My bag and clothes and wand," Remus said, "which are in my bag."

"Ok, um..." Sirius paused, shrugging and saying, "accio Remus' bag," with a hint of uncertainty, though the bag came careening around the wall in seconds.

"Oh, good," Remus said, rummaging in the bag and grabbing boxers and jeans.

Sirius glanced to the boxers, looking to Remus with a raised brow and asking, "Lose something else besides your sanity as a wolf, did you?"

"Shut up," Remus mumbled, pulling them on.

Sirius smirked, "I'm just saying you didn't _have_ to put them back on," as he looked elated for the chance to make jokes like these.

"I didn't have a choice in losing them," Remus said.

"You could've asked for my help, there," Sirius smirked.

"I can put my own pants on, thanks," Remus said, hopping on one leg to get his jeans on.

"I meant more with losing your boxers but okay," Sirius mumbled, looking away.

"No," Remus said, zipping up his pants.

Sirius chuckled, "Come on, you have to admit it's funny."

"Maybe," Remus mumbled, pulling shoes on.

Sirius leaned back and crossed his arms, saying, "You're certainly in a hurry to leave the place no one would ever visit and the only other living thing in here is passed out from a long night."

Remus raised a brow, saying, "You're hurt, and it's the morning after a full."

"What's your point?" Sirius asked.

"I don't know how I’ll be," Remus said, "and you're hurt."

Sirius groaned, "Such a wasted opportunity," as he stood up, "but fine, if you insist. I'll get James."

"Alright," Remus said, walking over and kissing him.

Sirius leaned down, putting a hand behind Remus' back and saying, "Remind me why we stood up if you planned on doing that?"

"Because that's all I’m doing," Remus said.

Sirius said, "Mmhm, right," before giving him another short kiss and walking off to find the couch in the other room James had crashed in. Remus frowned, seeing a large bloodstain on James' sleeve.

"Oi, James, wake up," Sirius said, shaking his shoulder.

James grumbled, "What tim'zit?"

"Get-your-ass-outta-bed o'clock," Sirius replied.

"We need to get you two into the hospital wing," Remus said.

James sat up and rubbed his eyes, yawning, "The scratch isn't that bad, Remus."

"Medical. Attention," Remus said firmly, crossing his arms.

James rolled his eyes, groaning, "Fine, let's move before Peter thinks we're all dead."

"Good," Remus said, shouldering his bag again and hissing when he realized he had a sore shoulder.

"Here," Sirius said, helping him adjust the bag to his good shoulder.

"Thanks," Remus said, "should we go?" They nodded, heading down the tunnel towards the Whomping Willow and stealthily making their way towards the castle.

Peter was asleep by the time they got there, Remus throwing a pillow at him to wake him up. He startled awake, saying, "You're alright?"

James nodded, saying, "Fit as a fiddle, mostly."

Sirius said, "Though we're gonna have to visit the infirmary."

"Nobody got bitten?" Peter asked.

"Nope, we're so proud," James grinned, looking to Remus.

Remus frowned, "That was stupid."

Sirius said, "Yeah, we established that, and also that you can't stop us from coming back."

"I could block off the shack," Remus said.

"We'd find a way in," James said, crossing his arms.

"No," Remus frowned, "we're not arguing this until you're both in the infirmary."

"Uugghh," they groaned simultaneously.

"Go," Remus said, "I’m going too."

"Fine," Sirius grumped, going back towards the door with James in tow.

"Good," Remus said, following them out with peter tailing him.

~~~~~~~

Ashley leaned against a willow tree, reading a book and waiting for her friend to join her. She looked down through a pair of reading glasses, her wavy black hair tucked back in a low ponytail. Her eyes were icy blue, scanning the page of the book quickly, wanting to return it to the restricted section before anyone could note its absence.

Bellatrix flounced up to her, saying, "Hey," and leaning against the tree.

"Hello, Bell," Ashley said, not looking up as she finished a page, bookmarked it, and tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear. "What kept you?" she looked up.

"Some first year got in my way," she grinned, straightening her bag.

Ashley snorted, looking back to her book and saying, "I hope they weren't a mudblood, too."

"I didn't bother asking," Bell said. "What did you want to talk about?"

Ashley removed her glasses, pinching them between two fingers and swinging them as she asked, "Have you noticed anything odd about the Marauders, lately?"

"Have I," Bell snorted, "they've been going out during evenings, think no one knows."

Ashley nodded, "My thoughts as well. What do you think they've been doing?"

"Probably some stupid experiment," Bella snorted.

"Hm, I wonder," Ashley mumbled, not about to mention she had noticed the peculiar monthly pattern to their escapades. The students of Ravenclaw were known for their cleverness and intelligence, but Ash didn't want Bellatrix getting any ideas just yet.

"And Sirius is hanging around that scratched-up little nerd even more," Bella said.

Ash chuckled, "I can only imagine why," as she was wondering exactly when Sirius and Remus planned to come out of the closet.

"It's getting ridiculous," Bella sighed.

Ashley pat the ground next to her, saying, "Let them enjoy their supposed secrecy while it lasts, Bell. You can make all the no-homo propaganda you want when they finally admit it; all the better for covering up your own little secret," she smirked.

Bell stuck her tongue out at her, saying, "Anyways."

Ashley said, "Anyways. I just want to know what they're up to, but I don't have the time to keep an eye on them myself."

"I'll keep an eye on them," Bell said, "it's fun, don't worry."

"I knew I could count on you," Ash grinned. "Thanks."

Bell shrugged, saying, "See you later, then?"

"I will, if you didn't want to join me here a bit longer," Ashley winked.

"I can't say I’d mind," Bell grinned.

Ash retained her grin, having had plenty of practice, and hid her annoyance that Bell was choosing to stay. "Get down here, then," she said instead, gesturing with a finger.

"In what way?" Bell asked, raising a brow but sitting.

Ash rolled her eyes, saying, "Like that's fine. I don't want anyone interrupting," before opening her book again. Bell sighed, leaning against the tree and closing her eyes. "Maybe later," Ash said, hoping Bell wouldn't take her up on the offer but also knowing one thing for certain: she had worked this hard to retain the Hogwarts student role, and she wasn't about to jeopardize it over one fake relationship. Displeasing her boss would not go over well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the sorta sudden introduction of an OC XD i swear she has a purpose and it'll be great


	13. Editing the Map

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this is taking so long between updates, we both feel bad and have been trying to write more. hopefully i can have one or two more chapters up within the next two days ^_^ til then enjoy more of these four being dorks

Remus watched three animals walk around their dorm room, still finding it a bit odd and laughing when Sirius hooked underwear onto James' antlers. James made an upset grunting sound, shaking his head and not able to dislodge the underwear. Sirius barked in merriment, wagging his tail and lolling his tongue out.

Peter chittered from his location on the bedside table, having trouble resisting the urge to search for crumbs. Sirius panted, standing by Remus as James continued grunting and making calls of distress, giving Remus a look that clearly said 'get-these-damn-things-off-me'.

Remus cleared his throat, scratching behind Sirius' ears. Sirius tilted his head and continued panting, James making an angry snort.

Remus grinned, scratching to pet Sirius before going over to help James out. Sirius sat down, his tail thumping against the floor as James clipped his hoof against the ground, trying to make Remus go faster. Remus unhooked the garments, tossing them aside and saying, "You probably could have just turned human again."

James grunted again, Sirius making an amused sound like a laugh, as he knew as well as James did that _conscious_ transformations into a human were more difficult than letting their body take care of it when they were asleep.

Remus sighed, "Well you can't very well place chess like this." James nodded, making an upset grunt and flicking an ear, looking like he was about to concentrate on changing back. Sirius waited, then barked loudly, making James start and remain a deer.

Remus snorted, saying, "That wasn't nice," and going back to his bed to pet Sirius. Sirius made the chortling sound again, wagging his tail as James glared at the dog. "James, you're going to get your antlers stuck in the bed curtains," Remus said.

James clipped his hoof on the ground in defiance, snorting and prodding the curtain with his antler, which didn't get stuck. James straightened his neck, looking ridiculously proud, Sirius laying down and covering his nose with his paws, shaking slightly from laughter. Remus snorted, "I meant if you get it tangled, for god's sake."

James grunted, focusing again and getting mostly through the transformation, once again ending up with antlers and hooves on his feet. "Huh, I double as a satyr," James mumbled.

"Nice," Remus snorted, "I think we should string Christmas lights on your antlers."

James raised a finger, saying, "There are definitely limits you're trying to push there."

"I'm being serious," Remus said, "you could use it as light for reading!"

"Oho I'm laughing," James mumbled as Sirius focused as well, changing back and getting a tail and a furry snout. He said, "Well this is odd," as he scratched his nose with a hand. Remus poked his nose, grinning when he licked it automatically.

Sirius said, "That's not cool, man," as he rubbed his nose on his sleeve, tail drooping as his dog ears he hadn’t noticed yet lay back. Remus scratched behind his ears again, Peter chittering from where he couldn't turn back. Sirius tilted his head, mumbling, "Definitely not fair," with a grin, tongue lolling out before he could stop it.   
James said, "We know it's hard, Peter. Just...I don't know, imagine yourself growing and pulling yourself into your normal body while reciting the enchantments." Peter gave one long squeak, appearing to strain and flopping back down, unable to get it. James rubbed the rat's head with a finger, saying, "You'll get it, man," and focused again on trying to make his antlers sink away.

Remus sighed, "Aren’t you guys supposed to be studying?"

James snorted, "Isn't there always something to study for?"

Sirius said, "We've made it through class without studying, before."

"But you've not studied for ages," Remus said.

Sirius shrugged, "We've been looking in to other things."

"Like perfecting the map, for one," James said.

"That's... also not studying," Remus said.

They chuckled, James saying, "No but I'd still pin it as a great waste of time."

"But...never mind," Remus said, "you're going to fall behind."

Sirius put a hand on Remus' back, saying, "I thank you for the concern, but I think we'll survive," as his nose returned to normal and his tail disappeared, but his dog ears remained. Remus grinned, flopping one of his ears up. Sirius glanced up, not able to see his own ears, mumbling, "I hate you," and shaking his head to make the ear fall back into place.

"Love you too," Remus chuckled, freezing.

James raised a brow, Sirius chuckling, "Sure man," with a smirk, patting Remus' shoulder, "love you, too." He hoped the way he said it might convince James it was more of a brotherly love. Remus made a carefully casual face, Peter irritated that he couldn't comment.

James cleared his throat and said, "Yeah, as we all do. Once a Marauder, always a Marauder."

"Right," Remus mumbled.

Sirius nodded, "Of course. Anyway, how much later do you all plan on being up, because I need to get a start on an essay."

"I have to outline mine," Remus said, Peter squeaking.

James sighed, "Why don't you two meet us in the commons, then. I'll work on fixing Peter," as he drew his wand. Peter squeaked again, Remus nodding and standing.

Sirius heard James tell Peter, "I still want you to try to do it on your own before I do it for you," as Remus shut the door behind them. Remus sighed, flopping into Sirius' armchair.

Sirius said, "Oi, that's my chair, man. You've known that for years."

"I know," Remus grinned.

Sirius raised a brow, shortly before wincing and hissing, "Bloody hell, do I still have dog ears?"

Remus blinked, saying, "Shit, you do." Sirius cursed quietly, sitting on the nearby couch and grabbing a throw blanket, putting it over himself. Remus grinned, whispering, "You look really cute." A middle finger appeared from under the blanket, the other hand busy covering one of the ears to feel when it would morph away.

Remus waited patiently, hoping the few people in the room would stop staring. Sirius gasped suddenly, saying, "It _does_ glow in the dark!" to cover any potential suspicions, poking his now-normal head out from the blanket and saying, "Neat spell, Remus. We're gonna have to mess with people's stuff a lot more often."

"Great," Remus said, catching on immediately, "we'll try it on James next."

"Excellent," Sirius grinned, throwing the blanket aside and pretending to put something in his pocket. Remus grinned at him, shifting from his chair to the footrest it matched.

Sirius grabbed his parchment and actually started on his essay on the properties of banana slugs for Slughorn's class. It went without saying the potions professor had a fascination, or a soft spot, for slugs. Remus settled into his essay, starting to jot down some notes. Sirius asked Remus a question here and there for help with his essay, as he'd had Remus help with homework plenty of other times before this. Both of them were waiting on the other students to file out of the commons.

Remus, by the time two hours had passed, was prepared to hex the last boy that was downstairs, who seemed to be simply fiddling around with a stack of cards. Sirius was just as prepared, the essay making less and less sense until Sirius decided he'd have to finish it later. Remus was getting out his wand by the time the boy left, not hearing two heavy sighs of relief when he did.

Sirius groaned, "About bloody time, how did you not hex him sooner?"

"I was going to," Remus sighed.

Sirius shook his head, saying, "In any case, you're still in my chair," as he stood.

"You could still sit in it, though," Remus grinned.

"You drive a hard bargain," Sirius said, rubbing his chin, "and it does look like it'd be more comfortable now. Did you enchant it for me?" he smirked.

"Maybe," Remus grinned, setting his paper aside.

"Hm, guess I have to try it out," Sirius said, sitting on Remus' lap and leaning back into the arm of the chair, crossing one leg over the other.

"How is it?" Remus asked, resting his arms around Sirius.

"Extremely comfortable," Sirius grinned, leaning to rest his torso more against the back of the chair.

"Good," Remus said, "because you're expected to take residence there often."

"Am I?" Sirius smirked. "And why's that?"

"You tell me," Remus mumbled, leaning to kiss him. Sirius grinned, kissing back and leaning up to meet him, putting a hand on Remus' side for balance. Remus threaded his hand into Sirius' hair, murmuring, "How long do you think we have?"

"Before James fixes Peter or until the sun's up?" Sirius smirked.

"Alone time," Remus mumbled.

"Hm, seeing as we've already wasted two hours and they don't know when the last idiot left, I say we have about...ten minutes before they're suspicious," Sirius said.

"Damn," Remus mumbled, nuzzling Sirius's neck.

"I know," Sirius said, tilting his head.

"We should probably detangle in a minute or two," Remus sighed.

"How strange do you think passersby would find it if they saw you with a dog on your lap?" Sirius asked.

"Uh," Remus said, "pretty strange. We’re not supposed to get dogs."

Sirius said, "I find it personally offensive," with a smirk, nuzzling his cheek.

"I think it's because you're too big," Remus said.

Sirius raised a brow at him, saying, "I didn't think you knew that yet, Rem," with a widening smirk. Remus groaned, leaning his head back against the chair. Sirius chuckled, "I'm sure you'll find out soon enough," before he kissed Remus' cheek.

"If they'd leave us alone for an hour," Remus grumbled.

Sirius said, "We'll find time eventually, I promise."

"Mhmm," Remus mumbled, "we'd better."

"We will," Sirius said again, sliding an arm behind his back. "We could always just lock James and Peter out of our dorm."

"That's not suspicious," Remus mumbled.

"I think they already know, they just aren't completely positive. Maybe ninety-nine percent positive,” Sirius mused.

"Let's try not to make it so obvious," Remus sighed.

Sirius groaned, "Then we're never going to get the chance unless we hide out in the shrieking shack."

"Maybe," Remus mused, "maybe."

Sirius said, "Anyway, we should get back upstairs. James wanted help fixing the map."

"Right," Remus sighed, "fine, let's go." Sirius hauled himself off Remus' lap, offering an arm to help him stand. Remus let himself be pulled to a stand, saying, "If only that kid had left sooner."

"Trust me, I know. We can prank him later, maybe make all his cards spit water," Sirius grinned.

"Excellent," Remus said, kissing his cheek and heading upstairs.

When they got back into the dorm, Peter was back to normal (sans a rat tail they couldn't get rid of). He and James were bent over a piece of parchment, that being the Map that James was trying to work out the finer details of. Remus entered the room casually, setting his papers down on his bed. James glanced up, saying, "Hello, have a nice evening of essay writing?"

"It was fun," Remus said sarcastically.

James snorted, "I'm sure it was. I was trying to work out some details on the map that let me down last time."

"Like?" Remus asked.

"Like it only seemed to pick up on people when they were within a certain range; there was almost a really unfortunate clash with Filch," James said.

"Can't you just increase the sensitivity of the spell?" Remus said.

James said, "I tried, but I can't get it to work. Also, I still need help perfecting the locking spell."

"I'll see what I can do," Remus sighed.

James nodded, saying, "You're a savior, man."

"I know," Remus said smugly.

Sirius patted Remus' back, saying, "We'd be a sad bunch of pranksters without you, mate."

"I'm going to start collecting tax soon," Remus said, looking at the paper.

Sirius and James chortled, Sirius saying, "Good luck on that one."

"You will pay me in chocolate," Remus declared.

"That I can manage," Sirius grinned.

James nodded, "Indeed, I think we can handle that. Care to pitch in, Pete?"

"Sure," peter said, "my mom usually sends me stuff."

Sirius said, "Now that that's settled, what say we get working on the map? No classes tomorrow."

"Why not?" Remus frowned.

"Check the calendar man, it's a Friday," Sirius said.

"Ooohhhh," Remus said, "right."

James chuckled, "Anyway, let's buckle down on this. I think you two have earned some brainstorming time," he nodded to Remus and Sirius.

"Great," Remus sighed.

Sirius sarcastically waved his hands in the air, quietly cheering, "Woo!"

"Have we tried soaking the paper in any potions?" Remus asked.

James shook his head, saying, "I didn't figure a potion would do it?" giving Remus a questioning look.

"No, but it might increase the power of some spells," Remus said.

Sirius said, "Well, Remus is the brightest one here so if he can figure out a potion for it, by all means I trust his opinion."

"As long as Snape doesn’t notice," Remus said, "I swear he can smell when someone's making a potion."

James snorted, "His nose is certainly big enough to smell it from across the grounds."

"Right," Remus snorted, "so we'd have to be careful."

They nodded, Sirius saying, "Any places we can brew a potion where no one would bother us? Or do you have some sort of potion-smell-cover-up spell."

"It's not safe to do one in here," Remus mused, "in the shack?"

James shrugged, "I don't see why not. How long do you figure it'll take?"

"Anywhere from one to two weeks," Remus said.

James sighed, "Well, it's for a good cause I suppose."

Sirius nodded, "It can wait."

"It would mostly be brewing time," Remus said, "I think."

Sirius said, "Do as much research as you need. Or we can research it for you if you've got too much class work."

"I've been keeping up," Remus said, "you have not."

Sirius and James both suddenly found the window and the ceiling fascinating, respectively, Sirius saying, "Whaaat?" innocently.

"You both have essays to write," Remus said.

James snorted, "It's nothing I can't write the night before it's due."

"James," Remus said, crossing his arms.

James sighed, "Fine, I'll get started on it," as he half raised his hands in defeat.

"Good," Remus said, "you too, Sirius."

Sirius groaned, "Oh come on, I started tonight didn't I?"

"Barely," Remus muttered.

Sirius said, "But I did start it," defensively.

"Outline it," Remus said, grabbing his own books.

Sirius huffed, "Fine, but you keep the map in mind."

"I will," Remus said, thinking of the new potion.


	14. The Forest

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> woop woop we've got enough material for chapters a little more often :D ps the main villain will be making an appearance probably in the next chapter *wavy mysterious arms*

A couple weeks passed and they found the map was proving much more complex than they thought. They stopped working on it to give Remus time to prepare for the next full moon, which was in three days' time. Remus sighed, quickly finishing an essay and chart he needed to have done.

James rested his head on his hand, scribbling part of one of his own essays. He set his quill down, sighing, "I need a break. Anyone with me?"

"Yes," Remus sighed, Peter mumbling, "My head's gonna explode."

"My brain's already been melted," Sirius mumbled, rubbing his eye.

"But that's not new," Remus grinned.

"Thanks Rem," Sirius said, "we've covered my soupy brain condition before."

"I’m pretty sure someone hexed you and turned it into chocolate pudding," Remus said.

"What makes you say chocolate pudding?" Sirius asked.

Remus opened his mouth, having been about to say "because I love chocolate pudding" and choosing against it, instead saying, "No reason."

James snorted, "Right, I'm sure. Anyway, I did have a question about our next ah...venture," he said meaningfully.

"As in?" Remus sighed.

James said, "I just feel sort've bad that you get cooped in one place," quietly.

"That's how it is," Remus shrugged.

James said, "I mean, would it be bad for you to...I don't know...visit the woods nearby or anything?" he asked innocently.

"Yes," Remus said, "yes it would."

Sirius gave James a look, James continuing, "Why's that? It's not like people really visit in there."

"But there might be," Remus said, "and I might just start running."

"We could keep up," James said.

Sirius frowned, "I don't know, James. While I have no doubt we could keep up, maybe we should, you know, take Remus' advice for once?"

Remus raised a brow, impressed Sirius was agreeing with him for once and saying, "Wow. Yeah, you should."

James groaned, "Come on, you all know no one goes in there, especially not at night. If you're running it'd give you another form of exercise," he said in case of prying ears.

"It's still a terrible idea," Remus said, "worse than the time you tried to hex McGonagall’s desk."

"That was all in good fun," James hissed, "and she still didn't call me out on it."

"But still," Remus said, "it almost crushed another student."

"And he was just fine in the end," James said matter-of-factly.

Sirius rolled his eyes, saying, "I don't think you going for a run is a worse idea than trying to prank McGonagall."

"I could kill you, or someone else," Remus said.

James said, "We proved last time you won't attack when you're feeling all fuzzy," he smirked.

"Unless there's a human around," Remus frowned.

Sirius rubbed his temple, saying, "I doubt there will be any human within a five mile radius of that forest at night," quietly.

"Five miles isn’t enough," Remus said, "what if someone has detention?"

James snorted, "They rarely put kids in detention into the forest."

"But what if they _did_ ," Remus stressed.

Sirius said, "I highly doubt they will. They seem to be getting less and less thrilled about sending students in there."

"But _what if_ ," Remus asserted.

Sirius ruffled Remus' hair, saying, "You worry too much; your hair's gonna turn grey if you're not careful."

"It's gonna turn grey anyways," Remus mumbled, having read about high rates of premature graying in werewolves.

"I don't think that'd look all that bad," Sirius mused, blinking and saying, "I mean, not like anyone would mistake you for being as old as Dumbledore."

James snorted, sufficiently distracted from the first half of his comment and saying, "Thank god for that."

"Aww, really?" Remus said, "I was thinking of growing a beard—see how fast I could catch up to him."

Sirius chuckled, "No one can catch up to him, he's ancient."

"I could use a charm," Remus said, "maybe get half-moon glasses too."

They shared a laugh at that mental image, Sirius saying, "Come on, stop changing the topic. The more I think on it, the more I think you're being a nervous wreck. You'd have no one to harm in the forest."

"There are plenty of potential harm-getters," Remus said, "plus, the school grounds is between the shack and the woods."

"Students aren't allowed outside the building during night hours, or have you forgotten that's the rule we break most often?" James grinned.

"But other people break it too," Remus groaned.

Sirius set his hands on Remus' shoulders, shaking him slightly and saying, "You. Worry. Too. Much."

"I worry just the right amount," Remus said.

James groaned, "Fine, we'll discuss it further later."

"I'm sure," Remus sighed, going back to his homework.

~~~~~~~

The night of the full moon came faster than any of them would have liked. Peter came with them this time, clinging to Sirius' fur as they crossed the grounds as animals (except for Remus) to get to the shack. Remus sighed, remembering to hide his spare clothes where his wolf form wouldn't get it and sitting on the tattered, structurally unsound couch.

Sirius whined, sitting on the floor by Remus with his head on Remus' knees, having made him agree to let him stay in the room until the transformation started. Remus frowned in thought, petting Sirius' back as he waited for the full moon.

Sirius' tail half-heartedly thumped against the floor, only feeling slightly bad he had been roped into keeping a secret from Remus, that being James fully intended to lead him to the Forbidden Forest. "I'll be fine," Remus sighed, "but please, I don’t want you in here for the actual transition."

Sirius huffed, signifying (or trying to signify) that he knew and agreed to leave when Remus told him to. "You sound like a puppy," Remus grinned, kissing the top of his head.

Sirius made an undignified groan, giving Remus a look. "Puppy," Remus chuckled, rubbing his side. Sirius growled at him, though he leaned into Remus' hand all the same.

Remus smiled for another few minutes, petting his side and belly before frowning, looking at the sky and saying, "You'd better go." Sirius whimpered but stood, licking Remus' hand before trotting off through the arch into the entry room, climbing up the stairs.

"Love you," Remus mumbled, watching him go and moments later feeling the first splitting pain of the transformation.

James had to block Sirius' path from going back down during the transformation, they waiting out the wails until at last they stopped. Sirius immediately bolted around James and down the steps.

Remus was hunched over in the middle of the room, still whining quietly from the transformation. Sirius perked his ears forward, feeling them droop a bit when he noted Remus' condition. He whined in response in more of a questioning tone.

Remus panted for a few more minutes, whining again and straightening slowly. Sirius yipped at him, trotting over and sniffing at him, raising one paw off the ground for reasons even he didn't understand. Remus sniffed him back, licking his head and laying down.

Sirius' ears perked forward again, wagging his tail and licking Remus' ear in return, turning his head to bark and signify it was alright for James to try to awkwardly make his way down the stairs. Remus curled around Sirius, panting heavily and licking his neck and side. Sirius tilted his head, thinking 'Softest werewolf I've ever met' as they heard James trying to make his way downstairs, Peter presumably having a much simpler time.

Peter would have simply hopped down the stairs but was not interested in taking chances, instead, sitting in James' antlers. One of Sirius' ears naturally turned itself towards the sound of hooves clopping towards the living room. James poked his head in, raising a brow but making a gesture to Sirius with his head that they should start trying to open a path to the forest. Remus sniffed at the deer but was ultimately unimpressed, laying his head back down.

Sirius whined, looking back to Remus and yipping to James, conveying via animal speech that he should stay to make sure Remus didn't hurt himself. James snorted in a manner that suggested "sure" before turning with Peter still on his antlers. Remus curled in on himself, coincidentally enveloping Sirius. Sirius made a surprised "murf" but didn't complain, settling his head by Remus' neck and wagging his tail again.

Remus licked him again, this time on the nose. Sirius sneezed, trying not to sneeze on Remus and panting with amusement. Remus continued licking him, settling in after a while and resting his head on top of Sirius's side.

Sirius settled contently, hoping that James and Peter wouldn't find much luck in clearing a path to the forest. It took another half hour or so before James trotted back in, grunting to get their attention. Remus looked up, sniffing at him and making a low sound. Sirius flicked an ear in question, James scraping his hoof on the floor a few times and gesturing with his head that they found an easy route to the woods.

Remus set his head back down, flopping over Sirius. Sirius made a surprised half-bark, not trying to wriggle out from beneath him as the werewolf Remus was rather heavy. Remus made a satisfied sound, tucking his tail in.

James snorted again, trotting over and sniffing at Remus, debating whether it was a good idea to piss off a natural predator when he looked like a deer. Remus snorted, unimpressed by the deer and shifting more on top of Sirius.

Sirius made a short whine, not exactly being crushed but still getting continuously more uncomfortable under the wolf. James poked at Sirius instead of Remus, Sirius eventually giving in and wriggling out (or trying to) from beneath Remus. Remus made a low distressed noise, curling a paw around him.

Sirius warbled back, not wanting to leave him but also knowing James would be pissed because of the missed opportunity. He gave James a look, who narrowed his eyes back in a manner that said "you owe me" before he trotted behind Remus and prodded his back gently with his horns. Remus snorted, standing and turning to look at James.

James' ears tilted back, backing away slowly and turning to run out the arch towards the entry to the shack. Sirius stood as well, shaking himself off and yipping to Remus, trotting to follow James. Remus made a distressed sound at Sirius leaving, trotting after him.

Sirius felt slightly bad for Remus, the feeling shortly escaping him when he found out that James and Peter had somehow forced a hole to open in a wall of the kitchen area of the shack. Peering through it, Sirius noted that it angled directly out towards the forest. Remus continued trotting, sniffing and following Sirius.

Thankfully, James had been smart enough to make the hole behind a bush to make it less noticeable. Sirius trotted to the hole and ducked through easily enough, wondering if it'd be a large enough opening for Remus.

Remus paused, sniffing the air again and nosing the hole. Once he realized it was indeed an exit, he howled, bursting through and sprinting towards the woods. Sirius blinked, bolting after him and barking, James stunned a moment longer before following as well.

Remus made it to the woods in seconds flat, disappearing into the trees. Sirius barked on occasion, at first keeping up but soon losing him as they got deeper into the woods. He slowed to a trot and halted, whimpering and barking again, tail wagging in anxiety as he waited for James to catch up, wondering if Peter caught a ride from the deer or was forced to wait at the shack. Peter had indeed been left behind, though he wasn't really complaining, as there was now a werewolf lost in the forest.

James caught up to Sirius in another minute, panting heavily as Sirius was. James had followed Sirius' barking, and now grew concerned, as he had hoped Sirius would be able to keep up with Remus, and it appeared he couldn't. Sirius was whimpering, ears laying back and tail switching to be between his legs, barking on occasion. James exchanged a look with him, realizing at the same time that when Remus turned back he'd be lost in the middle of the forbidden forest. In much the same way, they both started panicking and running in circles, crashing into each other with a thud. Sirius wriggled out from under James, who was still getting used to balancing on hooves.

They searched for nearly half an hour before they heard a howl.

Sirius barked, running towards it with James close behind, more nervous as to it being a different werewolf or perhaps something else. Remus was still running about the forest, howling occasionally and darting between trees.

Sirius slowed down, barking again and listening out for the howl, James trotting into a stop behind him and looking about before they heard a growl. Sirius turned to the right, taking a step back as a monstrous sized wolf stalked towards them.

The wolf was clearly not a werewolf, as instead of being a different species it appeared to be simply a wolf double the size of a normal wolf, covered with old scars and sporting glowing yellow eyes. Sirius' ears tilted back, knowing if they ran they'd definitely be seen as weak and easy prey, so instead going with his only other option of growling back at the wolf as a challenge.

The wolf growled back, a loud, threatening noise as it stalked forwards. Sirius raised his hackles, elevating the volume of his own growl and barking, baring his teeth, which probably didn't seem all that threatening to the wolf.

It began to charge, almost at Sirius before another form burst from the side, tackling it down.

Sirius' angry expression turned to surprise, having tensed in preparation to probably get mauled. The two wolves sized each other up, Remus growling louder than the other wolf had and taking the offensive.

James and Sirius exchanged a look, wanting to help Remus but definitely not wanting to get tangled up in the mess of claws and teeth. Within minutes Remus had downed the wolf with finality, biting its neck and breathing hard.

Sirius whimpered, James having taken several steps back to avoid being a new target. Remus licked his lips and then his paw, sniffing them and walking over. Sirius trotted forward, not sensing the hostility Remus was using with the wolf, yipping again and licking his arm.

Remus made a low sound, licking Sirius' head and sitting on him. Sirius made another surprised "woof" and collapsed under his weight, groaning a bit as James made a grunting laugh. Remus licked his nose and then Sirius', resting his head on top of him as well.

Sirius gave up, making a low rumble and prepared to lie there for the remainder of the night, licking the part of Remus' paw he could reach. Remus snorted at James, tucking his paws around Sirius. James raised a brow at them, Sirius eventually getting it across that James needed to get out of the forest and let Peter know they were alright. James grunted and bounded off, Sirius immediately wagging his tail when he was out of sight.

Remus didn't fall asleep, instead resting but keeping his eyes open for anything in the forest. Sirius licked his lips a couple times, setting his head on his paws and knowing Remus could handle most anything in the forest. He didn't particularly mind waiting, though he did end up dozing off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we really like writing sirius/remus animal fluff <3


	15. Reprimanding

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow sorry that took awhile to update, we sort've had a period where we kept forgetting to plan the next couple scenes in this fic and thus didn't write anything for it. i think we're back on track, though

Remus fell asleep as well, very confused when he woke up in the morning. Sirius managed to stay in dog form through the night, leg and ear twitching in his sleep. Remus blinked awake, noticing their location and hitting Sirius' side lightly, saying, "Sirius!"

Sirius jumped, yipping and rolling over, shaking his head and looking around in confusion and concern, ears tilting back when he noted Remus. "Sirius," Remus said, already realizing what happened, "I am covered. In blood. In the forest. What the hell. Did you do?"

Sirius whimpered, the change not coming easily, in this case not at all, with his sudden worry. He stood and gestured with his head for Remus to follow, as even during the day the woods were dark and foreboding.

"I don't have clothes on," Remus pointed out. Sirius raised a brow at him, somehow managing to make a suggestive bark. "Now is not the time," Remus frowned. Sirius groaned, trotting off anyway towards the shack. "I don't have _clothes_ , Sirius," Remus said.

Sirius stopped, focusing a moment and transforming, again missing the ears and saying, "You can use mine or find them at the shack, Remus. I don't have my wand on me."

"I'll borrow your outer robe," Remus said, "what the hell happened? What did I kill?"

"You killed a rather large wolf that might have been about to attack James and I?" Sirius explained with a sheepish look.

"Which brings us back to, what the _hell_ were you thinking?" Remus scowled.

Sirius said, "Oi, don't pin me on this one. James and Peter opened up a hole in the wall and you found it and immediately bolted for the woods. Before that you were laying on me," he added before he could stop himself.

Remus pinched the bridge of his nose, saying, "I’m giving you all a piece of my mind."

"I don't blame you," Sirius said, "but for now, you sure you don't want my pants?"

"Outer robe is fine," Remus said, as it went down to his knees.

Sirius shed the robe and tossed it to him, saying, "You know we're all guys here, and there's no one between here and the shack that'd see you."

"I'm not taking chances," Remus said.

Sirius said, "You know, I could've just taken mine off and then we'd have been two naked guys walking out of-"

"No," Remus said, heading to the shack.

"Oh come on, it'd be fun," Sirius smirked, jogging after him.

"No," Remus said, "I told you not to let me out."

Sirius frowned, saying, "You didn't have to kill the joke, and I know, but your wolf self seemed to enjoy it a lot more than being cooped up."

"I told you guys no," Remus said, "so you just waited until I couldn't actually speak for myself and went ahead."

Sirius frowned, saying, "I'm sorry, I know I shouldn't have let you, but I didn't want to deal with James complaining and you would've found it anyway."

"I think James complaining is a little less than my personal well-being."

"It is, but if it's any consolation you handled yourself really well, and your wolf side is as cuddly as this one," he poked Remus' side. Remus sighed, rubbing his face in his hands. "I'm sorry," Sirius said again, putting his hands in his pockets.

"I forgive you," Remus sighed, "still have to lecture James, though. Did I hurt anyone?"

"None of us, no, and no other human for that matter," Sirius said.

"Good," Remus sighed.

Sirius put an arm around his side, saying, "We'll patch up the hole if you want."

"Yes," Remus sighed, kissing his cheek.

"Alright, and you seriously need to work on your aim," Sirius smirked. Remus sighed, kissing Sirius on the lips this time. Sirius kissed back and mumbled, "Can't believe you skipped out on the chance to see me naked," when they parted.

"It won't be that difficult later," Remus mumbled.

Sirius snorted, "No, but naked in the _woods_."

"Might still happen too," Remus said.

Sirius raised a brow, asking, "Seriously?"

"What?" Remus said innocently, opening the door to the shack.

Sirius gave him a look as they found a human James once again passed out on the couch in the living room area, Peter in an armchair. Remus went over to James, dropping a heavy pillow onto his stomach.

James started to with an "oomf" and rubbed his eye, grumbling, "What in the bloody hell...ooh," and falling silent when he noted it was Remus. Remus picked the pillow up again, and then hit James' face with it. James raised his hand in defense a bit too late, saying, "Shit man, I didn't figure you'd be this pissed-"

Remus dropped the pillow again, saying, "Why would I not be pissed?"

James said, "Because your wolf self took it just fine!"

"You asked me what I wanted, I said no, and then you waited until I couldn't argue to get what you wanted!" Remus said.

James raised his hands, saying, "Alright, maybe I did. But is it so bad wanting to give your other half a little freedom? Is wanting to prove your wolf half isn't completely dangerous such a bad thing?"

"It is if you don't listen to what I want," Remus said. "That was completely taking advantage of me!"

James said, "Maybe...a little. I'm sorry for that, truly, but...none of us want to see your depressed wolf form cooped up in a rickety old house every time we come here. We want to support you, man."

"I know," Remus said, "so I think we can try again. But actually listen to me this time."

James frowned but nodded, saying, "By all means."

"Good," Remus said.

"I assume you want changes as far as being let out of the house?" James asked.

Sirius said, "Can this wait until Remus is clothed properly?"

"Please," Remus sighed, "and when we're maybe in the building."

James smirked, "I didn't think you minded that, Sirius."

Sirius punched James in the shoulder and said, "Let's get moving, I'm twitchy without my wand." Remus flicked James' ear, going to find his spare robes. James rubbed his ear, standing and moving to wake Peter, who somehow slept through the argument.

Peter jolted awake, saying "AREWEDEADYET?"

James snorted, saying, "Yes, welcome to hell, where we've all been given this neat little shack to plan out how best to torment our other inmates."

"Great," Peter grinned, having realized he'd woken up

"I thought so, too," James grinned, grabbing his wand from Sirius. Peter sat up as Remus grabbed his clothes.

Sirius took his robe back from Remus when he was changed, saying, "Right, so what's our cover for coming back into the castle so early?"

"You guys didn't think of that?" Remus asked.

James shrugged, "I just figured we could say we were up early and went to walk by the lake."

Sirius snorted, "It's so innocent they'd totally buy it as a coverup for something else."

"Very true," Remus said, "what's our story for when they press?"

James rubbed his neck, saying, "An experiment that might have been flammable so we were testing it in an area by water?"

"We could say we were exploring the forest in the morning"

Sirius said, "Wouldn't that just get us into more trouble?"

"Right," Remus mumbled.

James shrugged, "It's not like they're not used to us trying stupid spells without consent."

"I think we could just go with that," Remus said.

They nodded, Sirius saying, "I'll race someone down the secret passage? I think having a dog as an animagi is giving me all sorts of extra energy."

"That's not something you needed in the first place," Remus said.

Sirius bounced on his heels, saying, "I know, but I'm just going to run there if no one wants to join me."

"In a minute," Remus said, buttoning his shirt.

Sirius grinned, eventually groaning, "Come on, button faster!"

James mumbled to Peter, "I'm surprised he's not asking him to take it back off." Peter snorted, Remus giving him a look.

Sirius said, "I heard that, but that part comes later. I don't know why I'm so hyper," he grinned widely, continuing to bounce.

"Yeah, neither do I," Remus said.

James said, "Y'know, we could always just throw a ball for you."

"Fuck you, mate," Sirius said, flipping him off. Remus grinned, slowly taking a small rubber ball out of his pocket. Sirius looked to it, immediately stopped bouncing, and looked back to Remus, asking, "When did you get that?" slowly.

"A little while ago," Remus said, tossing it hard on the ground and letting it bounce.

Sirius jumped to catch it immediately, mumbling, "God I hate you," as he handed it back without thinking.

"Well, hey, you didn't catch it in your mouth," Peter said.

Sirius flipped him off, crossing his arms and mumbling, "Can we just get out of here?"

"Sure," Remus said, throwing the ball into the other room.

"I HATE-" Sirius shouted before his sentence was turned into a bark, the shaggy black dog skidding around the corner after it.

Remus laughed, zipping his fly and saying "run," to James and peter, sprinting for the door. They heard an angry growl, James saying, "Don't have to tell me twice," as he followed Remus. Sirius barked around the ball pinched in his teeth, running after them past Peter.

Remus ran full tilt towards the lake, his post-transformation self having a little extra speed and stamina. Sirius only needed to barrel sideways past James to trip him up, James falling over as the dog continued past him towards Remus with the full intent of tackling him. Remus cursed, dodging to the side and sprinting to his right.

Sirius skidded in a turn, barking again and fixing his angle to follow Remus, catching up with fair enough ease as a dog. Remus felt himself being tackled from behind, cursing and being forced to let himself fall. Sirius growled playfully, yipping in triumph and dropping the ball, licking the side of Remus' face as Sirius sat on his back, wagging his tail.

Remus sighed, "Well, we're out," as Peter caught up to them. Sirius made a sound of agreement, laying down roughly and setting his head on top of Remus' in payback. "You smell like wet dog," Remus complained. Sirius made a laughing sound, rolling sideways off his back to land beside him, scrambling to get comfortable.

Remus sat up, feeling like there might have been dog slobber on his hair. James had help standing from Peter, walking over to them as Sirius panted with his tongue out, wagging his tail in merriment and nosing the ball towards Remus. Remus raised a brow, tossing it again, hard. Sirius was immediately running for it, jumping and catching it midair, falling over rather gracelessly and tumbling before he stood, shook himself off, and ran back.

Remus mumbled something to himself, holding a hand out. Sirius handed him the ball, rearing up and putting his front paws on Remus' shoulders, trying to lick his chin. Remus tilted his head back, trying to lean backwards and saying, "No, Sirius, no..." as he fell onto his back. Sirius whimpered an apology, licking his cheek anyway as James said, "Hey lovebirds, we have places to be."

Remus gave him a look, Peter puffing as he reached them. Sirius growled at James, baring his teeth as James raised his hands, saying, "Woah, fine, five more minutes."

Remus rolled his eyes, Peter saying, "I’m here. I'm... weren't we going back to school?"

James sighed, "Screw it, Pete, you and I can go back. These two haven't finished up their business."

"James," Remus groaned, Peter snorting.

Sirius barked at them, James saying, "We're _going_ , jeesh," before turning to walk off, gesturing for Peter.

Remus groaned, "Was that necessary?"

Sirius turned back into a human, rubbing his chin and saying, "I got us some alone time, didn't I?"

"I suppose so," Remus said, "but we're outside."

Sirius groaned, "The universe is just not letting us catch a break."

"Nope," Remus said, "but you are on top of me."

"Well, it has its way of rubbing it in," Sirius smirked, a curtain of hair blocking his side view.

"I suppose so," Remus mumbled, leaning up to kiss him. Sirius leaned down to make Remus' life easier, mumbling something about hair getting in the way at this angle and continuing the kiss. Remus grinned, after a moment mumbling, "Hey, if we don't head back soon we're going to get comments."

"Won't we anyway?" Sirius said, rolling sideways off him.

"More comments," Remus clarified.

"Touché," Sirius groaned. "By the way, what was that about me smelling like wet dog?"

"You smell," Remus said, "like wet dog.”

"I do not; dogs have better noses than humans, and I can't smell a thing," Sirius said defiantly.

"I think you can't smell yourself,” Remus said.

Sirius snorted, "I think even I'd be able to smell wet dog."

"I swear, you smell like wet dog," Remus said, "ask James."

Sirius rolled his eyes, saying, "Well showering won't exactly make it better now will it?"

"If you used shampoo," Remus suggested.

Sirius snorted, "Great, I can smell like wet dog and lilacs."

"Maybe my nose is just stronger right now," Remus said.

Sirius said, "I doubt it. Come on, you were the one in a rush," as he stood.

"Fine," Remus said, pushing himself into a stand.

Across the lake, behind the trees of the forbidden forest, a pair of eyes gleamed, watching the two travel back towards the castle, glancing up when an owl flitted into a nearby tree with a parchment in its beak.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ooOOoohhh mysterious new person *wavy arms*


	16. Dates

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we just wanted another scene with bell/ash. i hope everyones enjoying the OC, and for those who know what i'm talking about i've been trying to base Ashley off Alex from Orange is the New Black. for those who don't know what i'm talking about the show's worth a look :3

Bellatrix turned the corner to the owlry, raising a brow when Ashley proved to be already in the room. Ashley had just sent her usual screech owl off with a letter, watching it fly off and putting her hands in her pockets in thought.

"What are you doing here?" Bellatrix asked.

Ashley started a bit in surprise but noted who it was and said, "Sending blackmail," with a smirk as she turned.

"Sounds lovely," Bell said, picking the nearest owl and tying her letter to it.

"I'd say so," Ashley said. "What are _you_ doing here?"

"Sending an order for zonko's," Bellatrix said.

Ashley raised a brow, asking, "What would you possibly want from a prank shop?"

"A lot of things," Bellatrix grinned, "and a kid in potions was pissing me off."

Ashley chuckled, "I only just feel bad for him. What'd he do?"

"Spilled his potion on my favorite shoes," Bellatrix said.

Ashley hissed in a breath, sighing, "Poor sod. Need any help with the revenge plan or think you've got it covered?"

"I've got it," she grinned.

"I figured you would, evil genius you," Ashley said, kissing her cheek. "By the way, you haven't seen the Three Stooges and their pet rat this morning, have you?"

Bell snorted, saying, "No, I haven’t."

"Hm, strange, seeing as I have. We might be able to catch up to them if we head to breakfast now?" Ashley suggested.

"Sure," Bell said, "Remus owes me money."

Ashley snorted, "For what?" as they started off.

"Oh, he doesn't know it yet," Bell grinned.

Ashley sighed, "Of course not. You plan on poking fun of your cousin again?"

"Most likely," she grinned, "he turns such a funny color"

Ashley rolled her eyes, saying, "So does Remus, getting all flustered that you'd dare insult his boyfriend."

Bell snorted, "Like they'd ever fess up."

Ashley said, "I've been tempted to dose them both with veritaserum."

"That'd go over well," Bell said, throwing her owl out the window.

Ashley watched the owl, being fond of the birds, saying, "It'd certainly help them get over it."

"I like to see them dance around each other," Bell said.

Ashley snorted, "Watch your descriptions, you're giving me mental images I'd rather not have seen."

Bell made a face, saying, "Eww, never mind."

"My thoughts exactly," Ashley smirked, walking into the passage that lead to the Great Hall. Bell scanned the room, spotting them a distance away by the wall, apparently talking to on another. Ashley asked, "Do you want to eat first? I'm not sure I feel like insulting people on an empty stomach."

"Breakfast sounds good," Bell said, "I was told there are corn muffins today."

"Excellent," Ashley said, moving towards the Slytherin table, which was fairly empty in the mornings.

"Is everyone hung over again?" Bell asked, sitting.

"Probably," Ashley said with a tone of acceptance, not surprised in the least if that's what had happened.

"If they'd stop spiking the pumpkin juice it'd stop happening," Bell sighed.

Ashley chuckled, "Like you haven't enjoyed a spiked pumpkin juice once in awhile, Bella."

"But I _choose_ to spike it," she grinned.

Ashley said, "I suppose there's that," with a grin, patting her shoulder before starting to pile food onto her plate. "Keep an eye on the Gryffindorks."

Bell snorted, "I'm keeping both on them."

"Good," Ashley said, drinking some tea before starting on french toast. Bell buttered a muffin, watching Remus get his hair ruffled by Sirius. Ashley glanced up to them, saying, "I'm impressed you haven't found something to throw at them, yet."

"You mean verbally or physically?" Bell asked.

"Physically," Ashley clarified. "Just wondering how you can stand watching your cousin mess around with a guy like Remus."

"He's not my cousin anymore," Bell said, "and I’m working on it."

Ashley nodded, asking, "Have anything interesting?"

"Slipping Sirius a love potion," Bell grinned.

Ashley raised a brow, asking, "For who?"

"Someone else," she said, "I’m thinking Emily."

"That's a bit evil," Ashley said, "I like it," she smirked. "But why not make it for a guy?"

"Well, Emily just... 'sooo wants to talk to him, he's sooo charming'," Bell said, making her voice higher pitched.

Ashley snorted, "Sure, if she wants to call it that."

"I figured it would be fun for both of them," she grinned.

Ashley asked, "How'd you plan on getting any? Not to mention slipping it to Sirius?"

"Slipping it will be easy," Bell said, "and I have contacts."

"I wish you luck, but I still think it'd be funnier to make him chase after another guy. You'd break Remus' heart in the process," Ashley mused.

"You have a point," Bell mused, "who do you think?"

"Hm, I'd say someone from Slytherin but that'd make it a bit too obvious. How about some nerd from Hufflepuff?" she suggested.

"Who can we think of that's like Remus?" Bell aid.

Ashley snorted at a thought, saying, "What if it was Snape?"

"Oh no," Bell said, "they would never buy that."

"I know, it was an interesting thought, though," Ashley said. She scanned the Hufflepuff table, asking, "How about Williams?"

"Hmm," Bell said, "interesting thought. Is he dating anyone?"

"Not that I'm aware of; I don't really keep track of who's dating who in this hellhole," Ashley replied.

"I haven't heard anything," Bell said, "that should work."

Ashley said, "We can think about it later; if we don't move soon they might leave the hall."

"Damn, you're right," Bell said, finishing her muffin.

Ashley said, "We could always track them down later."

"Hhmm," Bell said, "which is less suspicious?"

"Probably doing it later, but then again I don't know how many chances we'll have to find them later," she mused.

"We can track them down again fairly easily," Bell said.

"True," Ashley said, "then I guess it depends on what you wanna do," she grinned.

"I'm thinking of ways to slip him potion," bell said.

Ashley rolled her eyes, glad Bella's mind was more on the pranking mindset, saying, "Personally I'd lace some sort've food with it, like cookies, and have them delivered to him with a note from Remus or something."

"He wouldn't buy that," Bell said, "he's with Remus all the time, he could just hand it to him or ask."

"True," Ashley said, setting her head in her hand and tapping her fingers on the table. "It's a shame they don't leave their food unguarded more often."

"We could trick the smaller one," Bell said.

"Pettigrew? He'd certainly be easy to fool, but even he'd never trust you," Ashley said.

"We could use a middle man," Bell offered.

"We could indeed," Ashley said. "I'll bet someone from Hufflepuff would be easy to bribe."

"Sure," Bell said, "could even be Williams, to cover our tracks a little."

Ashley snorted, "What are you gonna tell him, here give this cookie to Black, but it's not from us?"

"Hmm," Bella mumbled again.

"Take your time, it's gotta be perfect," Ashley purred, rubbing Bella's back. "For now, why not focus on the kid who spilled on your shoes?"

"Right," Bell said, "he's in for it."

"I know he is, and while I'd love to watch you bite his head off, I have an essay to work on. So if you want me to join you we'd have to make it quick," Ashley said.

Bella sighed, saying, "I’ll let you work."

"Thanks," Ashley said with a grin. "Do you want to meet up someplace later?"

"Sure," Bell said, "astronomy tower?"

"Works for me," Ashley said. "I'll be there after...fifth period."

"Sure," Bell said, "see you there."

Ashley nodded and stood, letting her plate of scraps disappear as it always did, pulling a book from her robe pocket (which she had enchanted with an extension charm) and walking to class. She personally hoped she'd get the chance to alter Bellatrix's love potion for Sirius, shaking the thought from her mind with a blush and continuing on her way.

~~~~~~~

"Come on, Lily," Remus begged, "just two hours?" 

"Remus," she said, "it's a little pathetic that you have to be doing this."

Sirius said, "He's sure as hell not gonna get the balls to ask himself."

"Just because you two are dating doesn't mean you suddenly can play matchmaker," she said, crossing her arms.

Sirius shrugged, "I don't see why not; even you have to admit, Lily, he's been chasing you so long that once he has you he'd be one hell of a faithful partner."

"And yet you two are here trying to convince me to go to Hogsmeade with him," she said, "it's a little pathetic."

Sirius said, "Yes, but he also doesn't know we're here. He didn't ask us to ask you for him; we got tired of waiting for him to do it himself."

"And how are you going to explain to him that I’m suddenly going on a date with him?" she asked.

Sirius said, "Wellll, we were hoping you'd take care of that after we lead him there and abandon him."

"That's not gonna fly," she said, "if I agree you have to tell him you did this."

Sirius shared a look with Remus, shrugging and saying, "Sure, then we'll make sure he doesn't chicken out."

"Fine," she said, "I’ll do it. Fine. But I withhold the right to bail."

"Of course, Lily," Sirius said, putting his hands together and saying, "thank you, truly. We'll only go from him whining about wanting to date you to him celebrating every day."

"I'm so going to regret this," she sighed, "you owe me."

"Anything you want," Sirius said.

She raised a brow, saying, "You two getting laid?" Remus blanched as Sirius choked on his own saliva, coughing in surprise. She started laughing, doubling over and gasping, "Your _faces_ ," as Remus turned red.

Sirius regained his composure, saying, "That had better have been payment enough."

"I'll consider it," she said, wiping tears from her eyes, Remus still beet red.

Sirius grumbled, "Thanks again, Lily," before grabbing Remus' arm and pulling him off.

"Have fun," she called, falling back into laughter.

Sirius ignored her, saying, "That was unexpected."

"Yes it was," Remus mumbled, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Do you need to sit down until your face returns to a normal color?" Sirius smirked.

"Shuddup," he mumbled, continuing to rub his neck.

Sirius said, "Hey, at least it worked," as he remembered to drop Remus' hand.

"Now we have to tell James," Remus said.

Sirius sighed, "He's going to be a nervous wreck until he actually gets to Hogsmeade."

"Of course he is," Remus said, "hopefully he won't flip out on us."

Sirius shrugged, "He might for a little while. We can handle him."

"I'm sure," Remus said, "but it was your idea."

Sirius said, "And you agreed to help me."

"Touché," Remus said, "come on then. You get to break the news."

Sirius said, "Fantastic," as they walked up some flights of stairs towards the Gryffindor commons. 

Remus found him enchanting Peter's socks in their dorm room, letting Sirius talk first. James looked up, immediately putting his wand away and saying, "You saw nothing."

"Right," Sirius sighed. "Listen James, you know that Hogsmeade visit coming up?"

"What of it?" James asked.

"We... arranged a meeting," Remus said.

James looked between them, saying, "You make it sound like I'm not going to enjoy the news."

Sirius said, "Well, you should, as we've arranged for you to meet Lily at the Three Broomsticks-"

"You _what_?" James asked in surprise.

"She agreed to spend two hours," Remus said.

"I...you...she..." James stammered, rubbing a hand through his hair. "God, you could give a guy a warning!"

"We did," Remus said, "we were originally going to just drop you there."

James' eyes widened, asking, "What stopped you?"

"Lily made us agree to forewarn you," Sirius said.

He breathed in relief, "What a girl," as he put a hand over his chest.

"It was part of her agreement," Remus said.

James said, "But...like...I'm supposed to meet her there _alone_?"

"Don't be a pussy, James," Sirius said, clapping a hand to his shoulder.

"In translation, yes," Remus said, "you are."

James carded a hand through his hair again, saying, "At least I've got a few days to mentally prepare, but...shit, I wasn't prepared for this!"

"You can always back out..." Remus said.

"No, hell no," James said, "I mean, I'm not going to waste the opportunity, I just feel like an ass for not asking myself sooner."

"She thinks so too," Remus said helpfully.

"Great, fantastic, thanks Remus," James groaned, sitting on his bed.

"You're welcome," he said.

Sirius said, "You'll be fine, mate," as he sat on the bed next to James'. "She's just a girl."

"She's not _just_ a girl," James snapped.

Sirius said, "And that's why you're going to make a good boyfriend."

"You'll do fine," Remus said, "just don't act like a prat."

James snorted, "I don't _always_ act like-" and stopped upon Sirius and Remus giving him the same look.

"Just be nice," Remus sighed.

James said, "I'll try not to overdue it," with a grin.

"Good," Remus said, "she's going to give you and honest shot."

James nodded, "I'm glad. God I hope I don't mess it up."

Sirius said, "It's worth a shot, anyway."

"At least you'll stop whining about it now," Remus said.

James said, "Oi, I didn't whine about it that much."

"Yes you do," they said in synchronism.

James gave them a look, saying, "I whined once in awhile."

"Mhmm," Remus mumbled.

James said, "Forget it. And uh...thanks, guys."

"No problem," Remus said

Sirius nodded, "Our pleasure, mate."

James said, "So, she didn't agree on any other terms I should know about?"

"She has the right to bail?" Remus said.

James said, "Of course she does."

"That's about it," Sirius shrugged, not about to mention her joke.

"That's about it," Remus agreed.

James nodded again, "Right. I guess I have to start planning ahead for that encounter."

Sirius snorted, "You'd better, now that you've got the forewarning."

"Don't over think it, though," Remus said.

James said, "I'll certainly try not to."

"Have fun, then," Remus said.

"Sure," James groaned, rubbing his temple, mumbling, "I've got a date," under his breath in disbelief.

"Yup," Remus said, sitting on his bed.

James took a deep breath, saying, "Well, I'd better look up breath freshening charms and the like," with a smirk. He stood and said, "Don't mess up the covers, the beds were just made."

Remus made a face at him, going to his book. Sirius said, "Ha ha. See you at dinner."

"See you," James said, waving and shutting the door behind himself.


	17. Minding Business

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> first off, we'd like to formally apologize for taking so long to update. I'd also like to formally apologize for it being so long since we've updated, and now the first chapter you get in weeks is a short one. we had a huuuge writer's block paired with a malfunction on our computer's parts losing us all the progress we had written, so that was a major bummer. this chapter is mainly here to let you know that we've started writing again, and this time *knocks on wood* we should be updating maybe on a once a week basis. enjoy!

Sirius watched James go, saying, "I'll bet you five galleons he didn't leave."

"He probably didn't," Remus agreed.

Sirius smirked slowly, whispering, "Wanna mess with him?" Remus narrowed his eyes, turning to look at him slowly. "Oh come on, if he's not there it won't be a loss on our parts," Sirius whispered.

"What exactly do you have in mind?" Remus asked.

"Make him...think we think we're alone," Sirius smirked.

Remus considered for a moment, at length saying, "If you get me chocolate later."

Sirius said, "As much as you want," before looking around, grabbing a shirt off the floor by his trunk and tying it together, groaning, "Damn, that's tight," with a louder voice, tightening the knot in the shirt. Remus pinched the bridge of his nose, sighing loudly. Sirius whispered, "You agreed," before humming in thought, saying, "this has to be able to loosen up."

"Well if you were more delicate," Remus said.

Sirius snorted, "Right, sorry, getting carried away," as he tossed the shirt to Remus to see if he could actually untangle it.

Remus stuck out his tongue and started trying to loosen the knot, saying, "You really got it in there."

Sirius chuckled, "What can I say? I'm a professional," as he pointed out a certain spot to try to loosen.

Remus hummed in response, starting to fiddle with the knot. "Shit, this is incredible," Sirius said, stifling a laugh, wondering how he even managed to tie a shirt up so effectively.

"I hate you sometimes," Remus whispered.

"Love you too," Sirius replied, nudging him with an elbow shortly before the door burst open.

James blinked, throwing his hands up and shouting, "Oh come on!" before storming off down the stairs.

Remus snorted and burst into laughter, dropping the shirt and doubling over. Sirius joined him, sliding off the bed and lying on the floor, curling into a fetal position and trying to remember how to breathe. Remus wiped tears off of his face and wheezed, gasping, "Should… check on him."

Sirius gasped, "Screw him," as he continued trying to catch his breath.

"That's what he's worried about," Remus laughed.

Sirius redoubled in laughter, clutching his sides and saying, "Shut...up," between breaths.

"Ican’tbreathe," Remus said, laying on his back.

"NeithercanI," Sirius chuckled, finally making himself take deep breaths, snorting on occasion and sitting up.

Remus fanned his face and sat up, his throat and stomach burning as he said, "We really should stop and check on him."

Sirius said, "He's just going to yell at us," with a smile.

"Might as well," Remus said, "he will eventually."

Sirius sighed, "Yeah, I suppose you're right. Fine, let's make sure he didn't suffer a heart attack before breaking our door," he stood. Remus stood as well, heading down to the common area with Sirius in tow.

James was sitting in his usual spot by the fireplace, reading a book and looking grumpy. Remus sat across from him, struggling to keep a straight face. James said, "I have nothing to say to you two," as he continued reading.

Sirius grabbed his shoulders from behind, saying, "That's what you get, trying to pry into other peoples' business."

"Never stopped you," James mumbled.

"You decided to slam open the door," Remus said.

James said, "You honestly can't blame me, I've been waiting for you two to fess up for years," finally looking to Remus with a smirk.

Remus raised a brow, saying, "There's nothing to confess."

James said, "Mmmhm," skeptically. "And as long as you're here, you owe me some help."

"Do I?" Remus said.

"You do," James said, crossing his arms. "Besides, this is helping me with Lily."

"Do share," Remus said.

"You know I mentioned fragrance spells?" James asked.

Sirius snorted, "Heeere we go."

"Yeesss?" Remus said.

James showed Remus the page, saying, "I found one that works to make you smell like someone else's favorite thing. Sort of like a love potion works, but it's a spell only for scent purposes."

"Are you sure that's the _only_ thing it does?," Remus said

"Yes, read about it if you don't trust me," James said, tapping the book.

Remus scanned the page, asking, "And what do you need me for?"

"To help me figure out how to pronounce it so I don't make the commons smell like goblin shit," James smirked.

"It's phonetic," Remus sighed.

James said, "I still shouldn't test it on myself in case it's permanent."

"Who did you want to test it on, then?" Remus asked.

James shrugged, "I figure we could pick a first year, or it'd be a marvelous time for payback on Sirius, since he came up with the prank."

Sirius said, "Woah, hey, you can't-"

"Remus would never have suggested that," James said.

"Well," Remus said, "you do smell like wet dog."

Sirius gave him a look, saying, "Fine, but if we find out it's permanent James owes me a year's worth of chocolate frogs."

"Then I'll be sure to do it right," James said, taking his wand out.

"This might finally fix your smell," Remus said, standing way back.

Sirius said, "Gee, thanks for that, Rem," as he narrowed his eyes in concern and tilted his head away as if that'd prevent him from getting hit. James said the spell, flicking his wand.

Remus waited a minute sniffing the air and saying, "It just smells like wet dog and chocolate. I don’t think it worked."

James shrugged, "I don't know man, smells like apples and cinnamon to me."

"I didn't pin you as an apples and cinnamon guy," Sirius chuckled, "and I smell mint and rain, or maybe its potpourri."

"I definitely still smell..." Remus paused, frowning.

James blinked, smiling slowly and saying, "Nothing to confess, huh?"

Sirius quickly said, "Maybe he's just got a broken nose. Sometimes smells get up mine that won't go away."

"And maybe I can outsmell the spell," Remus said.

James raised a brow, asking, "How does that...ah, right, maybe."

"Anyways," Remus said, "it should work on lily."

"Great, assuming this holds up," James sighed, standing and shutting the book.

"Mhmm," Remus mumbled.

"Hope you're both ready for tomorrow. I'm bringing extra galleons to treat my new girl," James smirked.

Sirius snorted, "Treat her to what, a piece of candy?"

"Also she'll hit you if you call her that," Remus said.

James said, "Right, thanks for the tip. And no, probably a butterbeer, some lunch, I don't know. I've got a date!" he added happily, Sirius rolling his eyes.

"Do you, now," Remus said, "I had no idea."

"Let him have this, he'll lose it by tomorrow evening," Sirius said.

James said, "Screw both of you, I have places to be. See you," he waved, exiting the commons.

"Have fun," Remus called, smirking.

James flipped him off right before the door closed. Sirius shook his head, saying, "Poor sod."

"Worth it," Remus mumbled.

Sirius said, "Definitely. Truthfully, I hope it works out for him."

"Me too," Remus said.

Sirius looked back to Remus, asking, "Still smelling wet dog?" with a smirk.

"Shut up," he mumbled, standing as well.

Sirius patted his shoulder, saying, "You know I'm never letting it go."

"Might work a memory spell on you," Remus said.

Sirius shrugged, "Go ahead, I'd figure it out again eventually."

"I'm sure," Remus mumbled, “how long are you going to smell like that?"

Sirius shrugged, "Beats me, I'd consult the book James was using. Why, getting horny?" he smirked.

"No," Remus said.

Sirius said, "Come on, I was kidding," as he moved to follow Remus.

"Mhm," Remus rolled his eyes, leading Sirius towards the Great Hall for dinner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for the record, the tomfoolery chapters are coming to an end. we're finally about to get into writing the main conflict chapters, so get psyched! :D


	18. Hogsmeade

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> looks guys look i didn't lie about updating more often :D don't hold me to that in case we put off updating again XP

Sirius said, "Nothing wrong with liking something a bit weird. It's kinda like how we get along," he winked.

"I don’t think I enjoy the smell," Remus said, heading towards the door.

Sirius said, "But you said so yourself, even after James hit me with the potion..." as he ignored several people sniffing the air as he walked by.

"I don't think it's the _smell_ I enjoy," Remus clarified, exiting the commons.

Sirius raised a brow, asking, "You sure?"

"Think about it," he said, heading to the library.

Sirius scrunched his face in thought, figuring it just had something to do with him being there and shrugging, saying, "Sure," with a hint of skepticism.

"Anyways," Remus mumbled, leading the way into the library.

"Why are we headed to the library? Dinner's gonna be in like forty minutes," Sirius said.

"I want to get some reading done," Remus said.

"You sure you'll have time to hit half the books in under an hour?" Sirius smirked.

"Of course," Remus said, sticking his tongue out.

"I'll count how many you get through, man, but I have my doubts," Sirius chuckled.

"I just wanted to check some out," Remus said.

Sirius said, "Alright, then. If you take twenty minutes deciding between two books again though I'm abandoning you for food."

"Such a loving partner," Remus said.

"You picked good, mate," Sirius grinned, clapping him on the back of the shoulder.

"Mhm," Remus mumbled, heading to the nonfiction section.

~~~~~~~

The next day, the students of Hogwarts were gathering up with their respective houses to prepare for the trip to Hogsmeade, an excited chatter and last minute plan making running throughout the crowd.

Remus was packing a quick emergency-James-messed-something-up-backup bag, shoving his wand up his sleeve. Sirius was standing with his arms crossed in an argument with James about testing the scent spell again. McGonagall was walking through the crowd of students, checking people in and trying to retain some level of order. Peter was hopping next to Remus, more than ready to raid the candy shop yet again on his trip.

McGonagall got to them, checking off their names and pausing, saying, "Sirius, you're not on my list."

He blinked, asking, "What?"

"Of course he is," Remus said, "he was last trip."

McGonagall said, "I know he was, but ever since we were informed Sirius was...well..."

Sirius growled, "This is because I was disowned? Professor-"

"I'm sorry, but we need parental consent, and technically...well, right now you don't have any," she said with an apologetic tone.

"That's ridiculous," Remus said.

McGonagall frowned and said, "I don't make the rules, but I have to enforce them. I'm sorry, Black, but not this time," before she moved on.

James said, "This is bullshit," in a low voice.

"There has to be a rule against that," Remus said.

Sirius frowned, shaking his head and saying, "Well it's pointless to argue with her unless I want more detention than I'm already skipping out on."

"I'm going to look into that later," Remus said.

James said, "We'll think of something. Come on, when have a few rules ever stopped us?" he grinned encouragingly.

"Well," Peter mumbled.

James said, "Okay, when have rules ever stopped us besides Peter?"

Sirius said, "Just...go on, guys. If I think of something I'll join you."

"I could get some stuff done in the library," Remus said.

Sirius said, "Oh no you don't, James needs someone there when his date goes to shit," he smirked, giving James a thumbs up.

"But..." Remus frowned.

"Really, it's alright," Sirius said.

James said, "One, my date won't go to shit," before flipping Sirius off and continuing, "and two, Remus can do what he wants. Even if on the off chance something _does_ go wrong with my date, I'll survive."

"Mhmm," Remus mumbled, a bit skeptically.

Sirius said, "Or he'll go running with tail between his legs. Either way, go with them. I'll probably see you there," he grinned.

Remus frowned, saying "if you're sure…"

"I'm sure," Sirius said, ruffling Remus' hair, "now get moving or you'll all get left behind."

"Ok then," Remus said, slowly walking back to Peter.

James said, "I'd hate to be late, anyway."

"Good luck, man," Sirius said, giving him a high five.

"See you," Remus said, resolving to visit the library later

When they arrived at Hogsmeade, there was an immediate separation of the crowd into the various stores. James was told by Remus that Lily wouldn't be waiting for him yet, James sighing and agreeing to stick with them to monitor the amount of candy Peter was buying.

Remus wandered slightly behind them, keeping an eye out for Sirius as they walked. About fifteen minutes after entering the store, they heard a dog bark outside. James looked up, saying, "No way..." Remus narrowed his eyes, looking out of the storefront.

A black dog sat outside the candy store, wagging its tail and trying to beg food off the oblivious Hogwarts students, actually managing to earn quite a bit. Remus rolled his eyes, saying, "It's him isn't it."

"Looks to be," James mumbled, a grin growing on his face. "How'd I not think of that?"

"Because it's a bad idea," Remus said, "and it's clever."

James gave him a look, saying, "Peter, buy your candy," as he waved a hand, walking towards the exit as Sirius gave puppy dog eyes to a girl with a bag of popcorn. Remus gave Sirius a look but stayed with Peter to make sure he wouldn't over buy.

Sirius wagged his tail as the girl fed him a kernel of popcorn and pet his ears, James saying, "Look what we have here," as he left the store, bending down and immediately getting his face licked. Remus snorted, Peter laughing as he handed his candy to buy. James said, "Argh, damnit," as he shoved Sirius away, the dog simply wagging his tail and shoving forward into him, effectively knocking him over and licking his face again as the girls with popcorn giggled.

Remus dragged Peter out with his buy, asking, "Having trouble, James?"

James grunted, "A bit, yeah," as he continued struggling with the shaggy mound of fur attacking his face. "C'mon, man, what if Lily sees..."

"You can woo her with your love of animals," Remus said.

James swore he heard the dog laugh, growling, "Get off," and finally freeing himself, standing quickly before Sirius could tackle him again.

Remus grinned as he heard a female voice from behind them say, "Hey."

They turned, Sirius panting happily as James brushed himself off, blushing slightly and saying, "Hi, Lily."

"Hello, James," Lily said.

Sirius yipped merrily, moving to stand by Lily as James said, "Don't mind the dog, must be a stray from around here."

"I'm going to go make sure he didn’t run away from somewhere," Remus said.

James nodded, saying, "In that case, may I escort you to the Three Broomsticks?" offering Lily an arm and a signature smirk.

"I suppose you may," she said, grudgingly taking his arm.

His smile widened, saying, "Great, didn't think that'd work. And to clarify, they're not paying you to do this, right?"

"No," she said, "that's a... never mind it’s a fair statement."

James nodded, "I know it is. Hopefully I don't bore you the whole time," he grinned, leading her off.

Remus grinned as he could hear her mumble "hopefully" as they walked off. Sirius made a dog-like chortle again, shifting to sit by Remus.

"You're a terrible person, you know that?" Remus said casually. Sirius barked, wagging his tail and lolling his tongue out of his mouth.

"Now what?" Remus said, "and you get no chocolate. It’s bad for dogs." Sirius whimpered, yipping in defiance.

"It's bad for dogs," Remus repeated. Sirius gave Remus a 'you've got to be kidding' look, his tail no longer wagging.

"It's poisonous," Remus said. Sirius would have loved to point out he wasn't in fact a dog, but couldn't figure out a way to get that across. Instead, he turned his head to Peter, giving him puppy eyes for candy.

"I can't, Sirius," Peter said, "you never know." Sirius barked, giving him a look for using his name.

"What?" Peter said, "I’m sure plenty of dogs are named..." Sirius rolled his eyes and made an exasperated whine, standing and shaking off, perking his ears forward at a familiar annoying female tone belonging to his cousin. Remus frowned, sharing a glance with peter.

Sirius' ears tilted back, growling as Bellatrix and Ashley got into their general vicinity. Remus patted Sirius’ head, looking for places to escape to. Sirius sniffed the air a moment, nudging Remus' hand with his nose and making a 'follow' gesture with his head, trotting off through the crowd. Remus glanced to Bellatrix and grabbed peter, following Sirius into the crowd.

The black dog wove through the people, most of which moved out of his way, following a scent and finally seeing an emerald green wizard hat above the crowd. Remus frowned, ducking around a pack of girls and spotting McGonagall.

Sirius waited for Peter and Remus to catch up, barking to get her attention and moving out of the way. Remus raised a brow, wondering what she was supposed to do and walking over to her anyways.

McGonagall said, "Afternoon Lupin, Pettigrew. Enjoying yourselves?"

"Yes, professor," Remus said, keeping half an eye on the girls.

"I hope Black wasn't too distraught about not being able to come today?" she raised a brow.

"He was bothered," Remus said, "not exceedingly so. I still think it's against some rule."

McGonagall sighed, "I know, I'll look into it, but I found out he wasn't on the list same time as you did, otherwise I would have forewarned him."

"It can't be a part of the rules," Remus said.

"I said I'll look into it," she said with a firmer tone. "For now, I can only offer my apologies." Sirius yipped at her again, standing next to Remus. She added, "And good gracious, where did that dog come from?" though her voice wasn't fearful, just confused and slightly concerned.

"He popped up outside the chocolate shop," Remus said.

"Did he?" she said with a bit of skepticism. "Any idea if he belongs to someone in town?"

"We were wandering around to figure that out," Remus said

"Good, keep doing that," she said, keeping an eye on the dog. She glanced up, seeing Bellatrix and saying, "You wouldn't happen to be talking to me because Sirius' cousin is in the area?"

"I would never do that, professor," Remus said.

"Right," she said, pausing and saying, "Merlin's beard are you distracting me for Potter to get away with something?"

Remus grinned, Peter snorting at the presumption as Remus said, "No, actually, he's on a date."

She raised a brow, saying, "Ah, well, I mourn that poor soul. Who is...?"

Remus cleared his throat, saying, "Might be Lily."

McGonagall froze a moment, making a small fist-pump motion and saying, "I knew it," before composing herself, Sirius raising a brow.

Remus blinked, saying, "Professor?"

"Nothing, don't mind it, Remus," she said casually, adding quietly, "I just won a bet," with a rare smile.

Remus blinked, grinning and saying, "Well, we'll have to see how it goes."

She snorted, "Oh please, the fact alone that Lily agreed...nevermind, move along," she said, waving them off and continuing to grin to herself.

"Right," Remus said, becoming a little concern about how many teachers had bet.

Sirius started trotting away, forcing Remus and Peter to follow him to make sure the "stray" didn't go too far. Remus apologized and followed Sirius, saying, "My god, they made a bet."

Sirius made his barking laugh, rolling onto his back and continuing to make the sound as his tail wagged. Remus snorted, saying, "I never expected..." Sirius rolled to lie on his stomach, tail thumping the ground and whacking Peter's foot on occasion. Remus grinned, rubbing his back out of habit.

About an hour later, Sirius stopped playing fetch out of boredom and carried the stick towards the Three Broomsticks.   
Remus said, "You know we shouldn't be over there," as he followed. Sirius shrugged, if that were possible, sitting outside the door and trying to get the point across that they should at least check on James.

Remus sighed, trying to peer into the three broomstick's window. Sirius sat below, tail wagging and pawing at Remus' leg to inform him about what he saw. Remus turned, tilting his head at him.

Sirius yipped, looking to the window and back to Remus, tilting his head similarly. Remus looked back in, saying, "Lily hasn't cursed him yet." Sirius chortled, lying down again and crossing his legs.

"She doesn't even look annoyed," Remus said. Sirius raised his brows, making a curious warble.

"She's not exactly throwing her at his feet either," Remus said. Sirius snorted, knowing Lily wasn't that type of girl.

"He _might_ even get a second date," Remus said, "but let's not get too crazy." Sirius yipped in agreement, wishing he could barge in.

"No you may not," Remus said. Sirius whined in a high pitch, giving Remus begging eyes.

"Whatever it is, no you can't," Remus said. Sirius huffed, pouting and lying his head on his paws.

"He'd never forgive you." Sirius gave Remus a "when has that ever stopped me" look.

"But really," Remus said, "we shouldn't." Sirius sighed, groaning and rolling to lie on his side in boredom.

"Want to go bother some first years?" Remus said, "I bet I can beg more popcorn than you." Sirius was immediately on his feet, tail wagging and making an affirmative "it's on" bark.

"Tackling is off limits," Remus said. Sirius made a "why nooot" whine.

"Because," Remus said, "readysetgo!" Sirius barked happily, running off and dodging through the crowd of legs. Remus grinned, half-jogging and wandering around, not really competing.


	19. Return from Hogsmeade

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *slowly posts new chapter*  
> *quietly mumbles apologies*

A couple hours later, the professors walked around and started giving students the fifteen-minute warning. James rejoined the marauders with a large smile, Sirius panting and wagging his tail, licking his hand in congratulations. "Went well, then?" Remus said.

"Sure did," James beamed, "she even agreed to a second date," he borderline squealed.

"Wow," Remus said, "...wow."

Sirius barked, rearing up and putting his paws on James' shoulders, James saying, "Oi, down boy," and shoving him back. Sirius shook himself off, barking again.

"You definitely owe us, then," Remus said.

James nodded, "I do. We can discuss terms of what I owe when we get back to the castle. You coming?" he asked Sirius. The dog shook its head, not wanting to walk all the way back to the castle, as he was supposed to be a town dog.

"Alright," Remus said, "and I think someone owes me chocolate too."

Sirius barked in upset, ears drooping, making James chuckle. "Yeah," Remus said, "and I’m going to collect too."

Sirius groaned, trotting off into an alley between two houses, James saying, "He knows. Let's go, we're falling behind," he gestured to the other students.

"Alright," Remus said, "I’m impressed you didn't scare her off."

James said, "Please, I'm a natural. She was hooked before she knew she swallowed the bait."

"If you say that within her earshot she'll kill you," Remus said.

"I know, it's why I'm being careful," James said.

"Not careful enough," Remus mumbled.

James said, "Come on, I don't plan on losing her now that I've got her. Give me some faith."

"I'm trying," Remus said, "mostly."

James waved a hand, saying, "Screw you then. Pete's got my back, right?" he grinned, giving Peter a light shoulder-punch.

"Uh," Peter said, "right"

"See? Peter has faith," James said, though he knew Peter was probably just agreeing to avoid a harder punch.

"I'm sure he does," Remus mumbled, looking up at the castle.

During dinner, Remus, James, and Peter were watching the door, waiting for signs of Sirius' arrival. He didn't appear for another thirty minutes, saying, "Sorry I'm late, some bloke must've wanted a pet dog."

"What?" Remus said, turning to watch him sit down.

Sirius shook his head, saying, "I don't want to talk about it. What's for dinner?"

"That's reassuring," Remus mumbled.

Sirius said, "It's nothing major, don't worry about it," as he started serving himself mashed potatoes.

"You were two hours late," Remus said, "what did he do, get you on a leash?"

"No," Sirius said, "but he spent a very long time trying to lure me into his fenced yard with bacon."

"You took the bacon didn’t you," Remus said.

Sirius slowly took a bite of his potatoes, mumbling, "Maybe," and taking a drink of pumpkin juice.

Peter snorted, asking, "How much?"

Sirius said, "Never you mind it, wasn't _that_ much..." he added in a mumble.

"Was it more than five pieces?" Peter asked.

"So what if it was?" Sirius asked with a small smirk.

"Was it more than ten?" he asked.

"Nooo," Sirius said, taking another drink.

James snorted, "I'm surprised he didn't lace the bacon with a sleeping potion."

"If he did, we're not leaving you alone with Remus," Peter said.

James laughed, Sirius rolling his eyes and saying, "I'm pretty sure it was normal bacon, but thanks for the concern."

Remus gave Peter a look, Peter looking innocent and sipping his juice. James said, "Sirius, if you start feeling at all drowsy, let us know so Remus can move you to a bed," he smirked.

"You're hilarious, James," Sirius mumbled, taking a pork chop.

"Very original," Remus said.

James shrugged, "I try," as he continued on his own dinner.

"Not very hard," Remus said

James said, "I guess I'm still in a more civilized mode since my date."

"That's incredible," Remus said, "we should write lily a thank you card"

James snorted, "Write away, she wouldn't buy me acting civilized in a hundred years."

"Well, hopefully the time would mellow you," Remus said.

James chuckled, "Not likely, my friend."

"Wonderful," he said, "great"

Sirius said, "Well, Rem, you have to admit, James wouldn't be hanging out with us if he were mellow."

"That's true, I suppose," Remus said.

James said, "What can I say, you'd all be a sad bunch of pranksters without me."

"With a lot less detentions, too," Sirius smirked, getting whacked by James.

"And better marks," Remus said.

James snorted, "Please, I don't think Sirius would exactly be top of the class material no matter who he hung out with."

"Thanks for the confidence," Sirius said.

"He'd be a little better without… nevermind," Remus said.

Sirius turned to Remus, saying, "No, please, continue."

"No I’m good," Remus said, eating his mashed potatoes

Sirius narrowed his eyes, slowly going back to his food as James said, "Anyway, glad to see you here and not eating out of a dog dish," as he nudged Sirius.

"That'd be awkward once the guy found out," Peter said.

"A bit, yeah," Sirius nodded, adding potatoes to his plate and swigging his juice.

~~~~~~~ 

Remus woke up that night in a state of acute confusion, as he usually slept soundly and it was two a.m. He was also wondering about the strange bleating-sounding noises in the room, and quickly noticed the deer that had replaced James in his bed. Sirius rolled over with a groan, growling, "Who changed the alarm sound?" and not looking at what was causing the racket.

"...Uh, James," Remus said, sitting up as Peter continued to sleep.

"Damn it man, that's so obnoxious," Sirius mumbled, putting his head under the pillow as the deer struggled with untangling itself from the sheets.

"No it's actually James," Remus said throwing his pillow at Sirius

Sirius made a muffled 'oomf' and sat up, rubbing his eye and asking, "What do you-" before seeing the same dilemma.

"Yeah," Remus said, getting up, "can we poke him with something?" James bleated at him, continuing to struggle as Sirius snorted and started to laugh, getting glared at. "Hey, I’m not putting my face near flailing hooves," Remus said.

Sirius recovered enough to say, "What would poking him do?" as James grunted with effort to untangle his antlers.

"I dunno," Remus said, "why are you a deer?"

James bleated shortly at him, Sirius saying, "It'd be convenient if he could speak English."

"It would be," Remus said, sitting back on the end of his bed.

Sirius said, "We can play a guessing game until he's calm enough to switch back?"

"Sure," Remus said, "you thought you saw a female deer?" James glared at him and snorted, giving up and falling back onto the mattress with a defeated groan. "I'll take that as a no," Remus said, "Sirius have a guess?"

Sirius rubbed his chin, saying, "Just feeling horny?" with a smirk, James not even bothering to glare.

Remus snorted, "Maybe pictured Lily as a deer?"

James made an exasperated groan, Sirius saying, "Ooh, that'd do it."

"It's probably that," Remus chuckled.

Sirius said, "Hm...he fell asleep as a human right?" James made an affirmative bleat, Sirius asking, "So...did something startle you that the rest of us just somehow slept through?" James bleated again.

"You turn into a deer when you're startled?" Remus said, "you'd better be careful."

James grunted, making a series of other sounds. Sirius said, "I don't know if I got it exactly right."

"Did something in the room startle you?" Remus asked.

James tilted his head from side to side, Sirius asking, "Sort've?" and making James nod.

"Sort of in the room?" Remus said, "what, is it storming?" he glanced outside, finding that there was a clear, if black, sky. James lifted his front leg to rub at his head, not able to exactly point.

"Something hit your head," Remus tried.

James shook his head, Sirius saying, "Inside your head?"

"Headache?" Remus guessed.

James groaned again, Sirius saying, "I don't think a headache would be enough to wake him up."

"Dream?" Remus said, leaning back on his bed.

James grunted excitedly and nodded, leaning his neck up. Sirius chuckled, "More like nightmare, if he turned into a deer. Come on Rem, we can guess as we untangle the poor sod."

"Did you have a nightmare about tests?" Remus asked, standing to help untangle his horns.

James shook his head again, Sirius mumbling, "Guessing the nightmare is gonna be a pain if getting to 'dream' was that hard," as he tried figuring out how the sheets were wrapped around his midsection.

"You had a nightmare you got turned into a deer," Remus said, unhooking some antlers.

James gave him an unamused look, Sirius shrugging, "I thought it was a good guess. How come we haven't woken Peter to help us out?"

"Oh," Remus said, tossing another pillow, "hey peter, wake up."

He started awake, saying, "Whazgoinon?"

Sirius said, "Help us guess poor wittle James' nightmare," with a dramatic pouting face, James grunting at him and prodding him with an antler.

"Oi," Remus said, peter blinking at them as he struggled to comprehend what was going on.

Sirius chuckled, "It didn't hurt. James had some sort've nightmare that turned him into a deer when he startled awake."

"Wut," Peter mumbled, rubbing his eyes.

"Just help us guess his nightmare," Sirius said, tugging at the sheets.

"Uh...you got hit by a killing spell," Peter guessed. James shook his head again, wanting to convey they should just wait until he could transform but not able to think of a good way to say it.

"Did it have to do with lily?" Remus asked, getting his head free. James frowned and nodded, setting his head down as his ear flicked. "Something happened to her?" Remus asked.

Sirius snorted, "Was it a breakup dream? Poor guy," before he ruffled the fur on James' head, James yanking his head away and grunting.

"Was it?" Remus asked, batting Sirius's hand away. James gave Remus a 'you can't be serious' look. "I don't know," Remus shrugged, untangling one of his feet.

Sirius said, "Someone was attacking you both?" making James nod, tucking his legs in.

"Someone we know?" Remus asked.

James shook his head, Sirius sighing, "Could've been anyone; dreams are weird, mate," as he finally untangled the sheet from around James' torso.

"You could just be stressed about something else," Remus shrugged, getting one of his hind legs free. James made an uncertain grunt, trying to shift his leg to make it easier to untangle. "This'd be easier if you could turn back," Remus reminded him.

James gave him another look, Sirius saying, "I think he would've if he could've."

"Just saying," Remus mumbled, "wait, wait a second, we can reverse him."

Sirius said, "Oh, right," as James rolled his eyes.

Remus went over to get his wand as Peter stood up unsteadily, asking, "What time is it?"

Sirius said, "About two thirty. You can go back to sleep."

"Good," Peter mumbled, Remus casting the spell on James.

James turned back into his human self, grumbling, "About time," as he fumbled to find his glasses.

"You did that to yourself," Remus said.

"Not on purpose!" James retorted, fixing his glasses onto his nose.

"Still," Remus said, crossing his arms as peter collapsed back onto his bed.

James said, "Whatever, it wasn't a pleasant dream," as Sirius sat on his own bed.

"Want to talk about it?" Remus asked, rubbing his eyes and setting his wand back.

"Can't say that I do," James grumbled, leaning back onto his pillow.

Sirius said, "Sometimes it helps to talk about it."

Remus shrugged, yawning again and leaning against his bed, saying, "I think I’m up for good."

Sirius said, "You can't fall asleep again? I can be out in five seconds."

"Lucky you," Remus grumbled.

Sirius shrugged, "Well, you two can talk about it, I'm going back to sleep," he waved his hand dismissively, tucking himself back into the covers.

Remus sighed, leaning back against the bed frame and raising a brow at James. James said, "There's not much to tell, man," with a frown, tucking his legs up.

"Mhmm," Remus said.

James sighed, "Fine. If I have to relay the basics, Lily was...being hurt and I couldn't do anything about it."

"Don't you feel so much better now?" Remus said sarcastically, leaning his head back.

"Yeah, tons," James mumbled.

"Want to sneak to the kitchens for a snack?" Remus asked.

"Sure, why not," James sighed, standing and stretching.

"I'm sure the elves will be excited," Remus said, rubbing his eyes again.

"They're always happy to have visitors," James nodded, digging the cloak out from under his bed.

"Even at two," Remus said, "I wonder if they sleep."

James shrugged, "I imagine, sometimes. Want to test the map again?"

"Sure," Remus said, pulling on his shoes

~~~~~~~ 

Ashley had finished brewing the perfected potion the day before, keeping a small vial in her pocket as she read in the hall leading to the Slytherin commons. Bella walked up next to her, saying, "What's going on?"

"Good, you are still around," Ashley said, shutting her book and standing. "I need you to do me a favor, actually."

"Depends, is it sexual?" Bella asked.

"Not really, but I'm sure we can take care of that as a reward," Ashley smirked.

"Oh good," she said, "what's the plan?"

"The plan, Bell, is I need you to distract the Marauders for...oh, a minute or two during lunch," Ashley said.

"Sure," she said, "why?"

"I'm running an experiment with a potion I made yesterday, should yield interesting results," Ashley said with a smug grin.

"Excellent," she said, "who are you slipping it to?"

"Your ex-cousin," Ashley said. "I figure you know exactly how to keep all their attention for a bit, hm?"

"Of course," she said, "can you give it to Remmy though?"

Ashley said, "I only have enough for one. Why Rem?"

"I don't know, I think he'd be more fun to mess with," she said.

Ashley chuckled, "Trust me, if it works with Sirius I can make more for Remus."

"Excellent," Bella said, "shall we?"

"Certainly," Ashley said, walking towards the Great Hall with her.

"How big of a scene am I allowed to make?" Bella asked.

Ashley said, "Preferably try to keep it down to distracting those four, maybe a couple people around them."

"So no hitting," Bell sighed.

"I don't want you to land yourself in detention, either. It'd be a lot harder to give you that reward," Ashley chuckled.

"Very true," Bell sighed, "I’ll be subtle."

"You're the best," Ashley grinned, bumping her shoulder into Bella's gently.

"I know," Bella grinned, following her into the Great Hall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow i'm sorry it's been so long. i swear i won't say anything about when to expect the new updates from here on because otherwise i'm just going to end up jinxing myself again


	20. Lovestruck

Ashley said, "I prefer to get this experiment over with, so do your thing and then we can grab breakfast before you get called out."

"Great," Bell said, cracking her knuckles and heading towards the Gryffindor table.

Ashley only felt slightly bad not knowing what sort of distraction Bellatrix had in mind, but she kept her hand in her pocket around the vial. Bellatrix made a beeline towards the marauders, noting that Remus seemed to be more sleep deprived than usual and saying, "Having bad dweams, Remmy?"

Ashley followed her, sticking somewhat behind her and waiting for her to move away so that at least Sirius' eyes would be turned away. James said, "No, believe it or not. I woke him up at two with a new little experimental prank."

"I'm sure you did," She said, "with one of the most stuck-up rule followers in the school, at two in the morning."

Sirius said, "Woke me up, too. He created a new doohickey that makes annoying sounds. If that's all you have to say, kindly piss off?"

"No, I'll stick around a bit," she said, Remus sighing heavily, "how have you been doing? Picked a new name yet?"

"Yeah, I was thinking about Black 2.0, seeing as I'm the upgraded version of you lot," Sirius smirked. "I only resent my original models. They're not even as good looking."

"I'm pretty sure your mother made sure you can't use 'black' in your name," she said, "filed a form."

"I figured changing it to White might be a bit racist and too much like something one of you would do, so," Sirius mused.

"You could pick something accurate," she said, "dog would work."

"For my loyalty? That's a good idea, Bell, thanks," Sirius said, Ashley reaching behind him to slip the potion into his drink.

"No, because you should probably be kicked outside," she said, "and your breath." Remus coughed quietly.

"That's impressive coming from the one who probably gargles with goblin piss," Sirius said. "I'd be cranky too if that's all my mom packed me for school." Bell raised a brow, Remus snorting and choking on his juice. James chuckled, patting his back as Sirius leaned against the table, saying, "Are we through here?" as Ashley moved to put a hand on Bella's shoulder.

"Apparently," she said, resisting the urge to hex him in case it would prevent the distraction from working. Sirius was impressed it worked, suspecting there might be a teacher nearby and making a shooing motion with his hand.

Bell followed Ashley out, a little annoyed she hadn't gotten to respond. "You'll have other opportunities to get back at him," Ashley said, putting an arm around her side.

"I definitely will," she mumbled, setting her wand away. Ashley glanced behind herself to where the Marauders looked like they were busy forgetting about the confrontation, grinning when she noted Sirius taking a drink. "What does the potion do, anyways?" Bell asked.

"That's a little secret, even for me. I tweaked a potion recipe, and I needed a test subject," she said.

"Oh, lovely," Bell said, "let me know if it works."

"I will," Ashley said. "We should be seeing results by tonight, anyway."

"Excellent," Bell said, "excellent."

Sirius took a self-congratulatory drink, James saying, "That was well done, must say."

"That was great," Remus grinned.

"Thank you, thank you," Sirius said, half-bowing and raising his cup.

James said, "She'll probably be back for revenge when we're in a less public spot."

"Right," Remus sighed, resting his head in his hand.

Sirius said, "Yeah, and I'll kick her ass then, too," before taking another drink.

"You're going to get into trouble," Remus sighed.

"So is she, if she keeps trying to pull shit like that," Sirius retorted.

James said, "Besides, not like we haven't been in trouble before."

"Still," Remus mumbled, "well, at least it's the weekend."

Sirius nodded, "Yeah, but...we have to spend some time out of the castle tomorrow, get some air," he gave Remus a look.

"Right," Remus sighed, "how fun."

James said, "Sure will be," with a grin, nudging him with an elbow. "I don't suppose we can invite my new girlfriend?"

"Of course not," Remus frowned.

James said, "I know, just a thought."

Sirius said, "We still need to make better plans for how we're spending the afternoon."

"We can get it later," Remus said.

They nodded, Sirius tilting his head and wondering where the thought of Ashley was coming from. "Are we going back to the commons after breakfast?" Remus asked.

James said, "Sure, I have an essay to work on."

Sirius said, "I...might wander a bit."

"Wander where?" Remus asked, glancing to him.

Sirius shrugged, "I don't know, maybe try to map out some of Hogwarts we haven't gotten to, search for new secrets and whatnot."

"Want help?" Remus asked

"Nah, I'll be fine," Sirius said. "I'm sure you've got work to do, anyhow," he grinned.

"True," Remus said, "maybe I’ll meet up later."

"Alright, I'll show up in the commons tonight, maybe before dinner, depending on if I get lost," Sirius said.

"Try to avoid Peeves," Remus said, missing the 'tonight' part.

Sirius snorted, "Always," as he finished off his drink and stood, James giving him a raised brow.

"And remember to bring paper this time," Remus added

Sirius said, "I'll try," as he walked off.

James watched him, saying, "He's not remembering paper."

"Of course he isn't," Remus mumbled, going back to his bacon.

~~~~~~~

Ashley raised a brow up at one of her friends who told her Sirius was outside their commons. She sighed and thanked her as she marked her page, wondering if her potion had worked, secretly excited to learn if it had as she opened the door to their commons. Sirius was fidgeting outside the door, lighting up when she opened it.

"Sirius?" Ashley asked, trying to act surprised. "What brings you? If you're coming to tell me to make Bella lay off I'm afraid it's not that simple."

"No, I…I just wanted to see you," he said

"Did you?" she asked, stepping out and shutting the door behind her. "What about?" she flashed a smile.

"I uuuhhh," he said, "will you marry me?"

Ashley chuckled, covering her mouth with a hand and saying, "I think it's a bit early for that, but...I'm not doing anything of particular import right now."

"You could do me," he shrugged.

She snorted, "Maybe later," and ran the back of her finger along his jaw. "I want to get to know you first."

He leaned his head up, saying, "D...do you?"

"Generally that's what two people do when they first start dating, right?" she smirked.

"Right," he said, "uh, yeah, right"

She chuckled, "Right. So what do you want to do, besides me?"

"Uh, I’m... not sure," he said, "what do you want to do?"

"I was just reading, but we could go for a walk, talk a little," she shrugged, batting her lashes a bit.

"Yes," he said immediately, "that's good."

"Good," she said, "how about by the lake? It's so pretty in the afternoon light," she offered a hand.

"Ok," he said immediately, taking her hand.

"I'll try not to bore you," she winked, starting to walk off.

"You don't bore me," he said, "you're beautiful."

She chuckled, "Sirius, you flatter me," with a hint of sarcasm, but with a faint blush.

"No, really," he said earnestly, swinging her arm.

"Don't let Rem catch you saying that," she mumbled, but she continued grinning and half leaned on his shoulder.

"Rem?" Sirius asked, walking with a definite bounce.

"Nothing, nevermind it," she said, entertained by the potion's effects but wishing they were real emotions.

"Ok!" he grinned, half skipping.

Ashley successfully led him to the lake without being noted by the other Marauders, taking him to a spot where they could see into the forest from across the lake. "What do you want to do?" Sirius asked.

"Nothing really, but...I do need to ask a favor of you, Siri," she said, sitting and gesturing for him to follow suit.

"Ok?" he said, flopping down.

"You know the forest," she gestured. "I heard you've been there once or twice."

"Yeah?" he said, tapping his foot.

"Listen, I can't explain in much detail, but it'd mean a lot if you could bring your three friends just into the woods, right over there," she pointed.

"Why?" he asked, tilting his head a little like a dog.

"I wanted to look around and would feel better if you scoped out the area for me ahead of time," she said. "I know four strong, accomplished wizards like yourselves would have no trouble," she grinned, leaning on his shoulder again.

"Ok," he said wrapping his arm around her. She smiled, the expression short-lived as she remembered why exactly she was sending them there, reminding herself they'd be fine. She allowed them to sit for another half hour, ending up with her head on Sirius' lap as she read and Sirius played with her hair. She shut the book with a sigh, turning to look at the lake. Sirius didn't pause in his humming, focused on straightening out her hair.

"Sirius, you wouldn't mind doing that favor tomorrow night, would you?" she asked at length.

"Sure," he said happily, "if you want."

She grinned, thankful the potion was overriding his common sense for whatever he and the marauders had been doing each month. "Thanks, you're the best," she said, sitting up and kissing his cheek.

He lit up again grinning and saying, "You're better."

"Hardly," she said with a bit of a forced smile. "But it's getting dark, we need to get back inside."

"Ok," he said, standing.

"Oh, before you go, would you mind not telling your friends you were hanging out with me?" She glanced over her shoulder and said lowly, "Wouldn't want them getting jealous."

Sirius's eyes went wide as he said, "Ooooohhhh... ok."

She grinned, saying, "And here, a parting gift before we go," she handed him a vial. He looked at it, tilting his head to study the contents. "I brewed it myself; it's supposed to help you become more attractive," she winked.

He pouted a little, saying, "Ok."

"Not that you need it," she bopped his nose. "It duals as a breath freshener," she chuckled.

"Oh," he said, looking to it again.

"Just drink up, it should taste fine," she said, patting his shoulder.

He knocked it back like a shot, saying, "Tastes good."

"Good," she said, giving him another kiss on the cheek. "I'll see you tomorrow morning then, 'kay?"

"Alright," he grinned, handing the bottle back.

She pocketed the empty vial, saying, "Goodnight, then," and walked off.

"Bye," he said, staring after her.

Sirius rejoined the other Marauders for dinner with a blissful grin, sitting down and starting to load up his plate. Remus glanced to him, saying "you feeling alright?"

"Yeah, perfectly fine," Sirius said, taking a bite of baked potato.

"Are you sure?" Remus said, "you're acting odd."

"Am I? I don't know, good mood I suppose," Sirius shrugged, taking some pulled pork.

"Mhmm," Remus mumbled.

James said, "Let him have his secrets, we all do," with a chuckle, eating his potato.

"Alright," Remus sighed, resting his head in his hand as he picked at his potatoes.

Sirius said, "Something got you down?" as he took a bite of peas.

"No," Remus said, taking a mouthful to demonstrate his good mood.

Sirius shrugged, "If you say so," and went back to eating. Remus glanced to James before going back to his meal. James shrugged subtly at him, figuring whatever Sirius had been doing it was probably meant as a surprise for the lot of them.

By the time Remus was going to bed he was almost concerned about Sirius’ behavior, though he didn't mention it. Sirius sat on their window seat, gazing up at the stars as James worked on tweaking the map. Remus glanced at Sirius, asking, "What are you doing?"

Sirius said, "Stargazing. It's uh...astronomy homework."

"Right," Remus said, "of course."

James said, "Wasn't astronomy last year?" without looking up from the map.

"Yes, it was," Remus said, in the same tone.

Sirius said, "A guy can't stargaze once in awhile?

"Probably," Remus said, "bit odd for you."

Sirius said, "Now that James has a girlfriend is he the only one allowed to do girly things like stargaze?" he smirked.

"Yes," Remus said.

James said, "Oi, I'd only stargaze if Lily wanted to."

"Mhmm," Remus said, adopting a funny tone to say "you don't want to see the moon in her eyes?"

James said, "I figured that was you and Sirius' thing," with a smirk, Sirius starting to hum ‘That’s Amoré.’

"You're not helping, Sirius," Remus sighed.

Sirius gave him a thumbs up, saying, "That's what I'm here for."

Remus sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. James chuckled, "Anyway, Remus, did you ever find anything on verbal spell locks?"

"Yeah," he said, "should be possible for us."

James said, "Fantastic, all that's left is applying the passphrase to the map."

"And we should do that once it's finished," Remus said.

"Alright," James nodded. "I think we've got most of the school plotted," he mumbled, adjusting his glasses and folding the map over.

"We need to fix some glitches with the people," Remus said.

James nodded, "One too many close calls with Filch."

"And I’m pretty sure Mrs. Norris shouldn't have human feet," Remus said.

James sighed, "I can't do a thing about that. Hell I didn't even mean for it to pick up on animals, otherwise the owlry would be swarming."

"At least now we know the owl's names," Remus said, "all of them."

Sirius said, "Is it worth it to fix?"

"I think it's worth looking in to," James mumbled.

"There's like, eight Barry’s," Remus said, "it's incredible." 

"Remember Mr. Hootingtons?" Peter said.

James laughed, "How can I forget Mr. Hootingtons? I wish I had named _my_ owl that."

"Henry is kind of boring," Remus said.

"He looked like a Henry, and I got him my first year. I was young and much less creative," James mumbled.

"Yeah, you didn't even blow up anything that year," Peter said.

James sighed, "A year wasted," as Sirius hummed in agreement, back to stargazing.

"You did hex that third year, though," Remus reminded him

"Good times," he grinned. "I don't regret learning hexes first."

"Your grades do," Remus mumbled.

James said, "I made it to fifth year with you all, didn't I?" with a smirk.

"By studying off my notes," Remus reminded him, Peter shrugging.

"And I can never repay you enough for it," James grinned.

"No you can't," Remus grinned.

Sirius stood and stretched, saying, "I think I'm gonna hit the hay."

"Alright," Remus said, running his hand through his hair.

James shrugged, "Whatever man. I'll try and figure out the glitch with the people," as he studied the map.

"Maybe if you made sure it's just a human signal," Remus said, "and not heartbeats."

"I didn't think it through," James muttered, tapping his chin with his wand.

"No you didn't," Remus said, "it was scary enough to check the map at night and see the swarm of house elves in dorms."

James chuckled, "I thought it was kind of funny."

"It was a little alarming," Remus said, "thirty people I didn't know in the commons."

"A little, until you noticed they had names like Nobbins and Winky," James said.

"I wonder if the map picks up nicknames," Remus said.

James shrugged, "I doubt it; my spells aren't that fancy."

"I know," Remus smirked, "that's why you have me around."

James stuck his tongue out at Remus, glancing over when he heard Sirius snoring. "Damn, that was fast."

"It was," Remus said, "he's probably set records."

James snorted, "I don't doubt it; we should check the record books."

"Loudest snorer, too," Remus mumbled.

James chuckled, "Never seemed to bother you before," as he went back to studying the map.

"I just don't mention it," Remus said.

James said, "I don't know, I don't think you mind as much as you let on."

"Probably not," Remus said.

"Becauseyoulovehim," James said quickly before coughing.

"Mhmm," Remus mumbled.

James pretended not to hear him, yawning dramatically and saying, "Weeell, I think we should follow Padfoot's example."

"Mhmm," Remus repeated, snapping out of it and saying "sorry, what?"

James snorted, "Daydreaming about sleeping with him?"

"What?" Remus asked, "who?"

James said, "You know who," before blinking, realizing what he just said. Remus snorted, ignoring it and tucking himself in. James sighed, "Anyway, you know what I meant," as he laid back.

"Mhmm," Remus said, lying down.

"Night," James said, setting his glasses aside and rolling over.

"Night," Remus sighed, rubbing his arm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah i know ashleys a bit of a bitch.


	21. Nothing Personal

The next morning they went down for breakfast, Sirius still oddly giddy and bright as he loaded his plate with eggs and bacon. "Sleep well?" Remus asked.

Sirius said, "Sure did," as he took a large bite.

"You're not usually a morning person," Remus said.

Sirius shrugged, "Still in a good mood, I suppose."

"Right," Remus said, "well... tonight."

Sirius said, "Yeah, about that, do you guys want to...maybe, I don't know, explore the forest a bit beforehand?"

"What for, to scout?" Remus asked.

"Yyyeah, so if you happen to escape again we can sort've corral you to safer spots," Sirius said.

"It's not a bad idea," James said.

"Sounds good," Peter said.

James said, "I don't see why we can't head out a little early."

"Great," Remus said, "maybe I should stay in the shack, though."

Sirius said, "Well, yeah, but...just in case."

"I'll wait in the shack," Remus said.

Sirius frowned, saying, "Why not come along?"

"In case we get lost and I’m stuck in that form in the forest," Remus said

James said, "We handled it last time."

"But still," Remus frowned.

Sirius said, "We'll make it back before you go ape-shit. Besides, if something comes out of the woods we might need you for extra precautions."

Remus frowned, rubbing the back of his neck as he thought. James said, "Might be good for you to have a general idea of the area anyway in case you wake up there."

"Alright," Remus said reluctantly.

"It'll be fine," Sirius grinned, taking a bite.

"Mhmm," Remus mumbled, picking at his breakfast.

James said, "Eat up, man, you're gonna need the energy."

"I'm never very hungry these mornings," Remus said.

James said, "Doesn't mean you shouldn't eat."

"I don't want to, though," Remus said.

Sirius said, "Alright, well, I'm...I've got somewhere to be," he said, finishing up his eggs and standing.

"Wait, what?" James asked.

"Yeah, what?" Remus said, "you've been acting weird since yesterday."

"Have I? I didn't notice," he shrugged, jogging off without giving a proper explanation.

"Maybe he's planning how to propose," James smirked, watching him go before winking at Remus.

"Of course," Remus said sarcastically

James said, "If you're not hungry, why don't you tail him? Or watch him via other means," he added casually, taking a bite of pancake.

"We could test the map," Remus said.

"That's what I was casually hinting at. Man, keep up," James smirked.

"Do you have it on you?" Remus asked.

James rifled around in his pocket, pulling out a blank parchment and saying, "You're lucky I carry spares," with a grin.

"Right," Remus sighed, sipping his juice.

"Take it to the bathroom or an empty class or something," James said, sliding it across the table.

"We could just try it here," Remus said, "it's not like anyone's paying attention."

James mumbled, "Better safe than sorry, but fine, if you're willing to bet we fixed its sudden ability to read the names on the map out loud."

"I worked for hours on that," Remus said, tapping the map's surface with his wand.

James leaned over, scanning it and saying, "Here's the Great Hall. He can't have gone too far."

Remus glanced around it, poking the map and saying, "There he is, down the hall."

James watched it, saying, "I can't tell where he's headed right now."

"Could be going anywhere," Remus mumbled.

James shrugged, "I've got no guesses. Keep an eye on him," he leaned away to finish his breakfast.

Remus half-watched the map as he picked at breakfast, after a minute saying, "Uhoh, trouble," as he saw a pair of feet labelled Ashley approaching Sirius.

James turned with vague interest, chewing a bite of hash browns and frowning when he saw the issue. "Yeah, but where's the crazy bitch that attached itself to her?"

"In the pound, maybe," Remus mumbled.

James snorted, "We can all hope," as he saw them stop by each other. Remus frowned, watching the feet pause and wondering if they'd gotten in to a fight. James felt his fork lowering as he watched, seeing them walk off in the same direction. "What the..." he mumbled.

"Maybe they're... I don't know," Remus frowned, studying the map like it would give him a written description.

"It...doesn't look like she's following him, or he her," James said. "Maybe the map glitched and is showing them stuck together?"

"Then where did the other one go?" Remus asked.

James shook his head, saying, "I don't know."

"Maybe they're being led somewhere?" Peter suggested.

James said, "I don't see anyone in front of them," with a frown.

"Maybe they saw something," Remus guessed.

"That could be," James said, "but I'm trying to figure out what part of the castle they're in or headed to."

"We could go ask," Remus said.

James shrugged, "Whatever they're doing, I wouldn't be too concerned."

"Unless they try to kill each other," Remus said.

"I think Sirius could handle--" James said, nudging Remus and hissing, "teacher." Remus tapped the paper again, making the map disappear and folding it in strange ways.

Once again it proved to be Slughorn that interrupted their conversation, James saying, "Good morning, Professor," with a smile.

"Hello," Remus said, pretending that he'd been making an origami box all along

"How are you this morning?" James asked, finishing his pancake.

"Just fine, m'boy," Slughorn said, patting his belly, "enjoying breakfast."

"Aren't we all?" James chuckled.

"Indeed," Slughorn said, "now, about your girlfriend."

James choked on his pumpkin juice, saying, "Sorry, yes sir? What about her?"

"Well, she's invited to the slug club," he said, "she mentioned you might be an interesting person to invite."

"Did she?" James raised a brow. "I mean, of course it'd be an honor, but...did she mention anything else?"

"About what?" Slughorn asked.

"About why she was inviting me?" James asked. "I can't say I'm the best with potions."

"It's not just potions, m'boy," Slughorn, "it's anyone with interest."

"I suppose," James said. "I'd be delighted, sir."

"Good," Slughorn said, "the offer is still open to you, Bl..." James frowned, Slughorn noting Sirius' absence. "Odd," Slughorn said, "doesn't he normally hang about your little group?"

"Yeah, he slept in today," James said. "He had a late night."

"Did he now," Slughorn said, raising a brow at Remus. James quietly sipped his juice, looking the other way.

Remus stared at him with a frozen form of a panicked expression, Peter saying, "He was up late studying." James mumbled something about intense studying before taking another drink.

Slughorn sighed, "Well, remind him he's welcome to join as well."

James nodded, saying, "Will do, sir," with a grin, glancing with amusement to Remus. Remus gave him a look as Slughorn wandered off. "And you still deny you're dating," James mumbled.

"We aren't," Remus said.

"Why don't you just admit it?!" James asked a bit louder than he meant to. Remus gave him a look as half of the great hall looked to James. James looked around, saying, "Go about your business," with a shooing motion. Most of the heads returned to their food, Remus raising a brow at James. "But seriously, why don't you?" James asked again at a normal volume.

"Because we aren't," Remus said.

James gave him a slow blink, saying, "You're not fooling anyone."

"You wouldn't accept either answer," Remus said.

"What do you mean I wouldn't accept either answer? If you told me you were dating I'd shout 'ha' in triumph and make posters," James smirked.

"You want to make posters," Remus said.

"Nooo, just one that says something like 'knew it' to hang over your bed," James said. "Maybe I can get Sirius to pose nude for a picture..." Remus gave him a withering look, Peter choking. James said, "I don't hear you complaining. Looks like I've got to track him down," he smirked.

"I'll make one for Lily," Remus said.

"It's on," James said, finishing his juice. Remus sighed, finishing his food and wondering about Sirius.

~~~~~~~

Ashley gave Sirius a final dose of love potion, asking, "Have you spoken to your friends about going to the forest tonight?"

"They agreed," Sirius said, half-skipping as he walked.

Ashley grinned, asking, "And you're sure all of them will come along, right?"

"I made sure," he grinned.

"Great," she said, kissing his cheek, "thank you."

He continued to smile like an idiot, saying, "No problem."

"Well, I've got an hour or so before class. You want to do anything?" she asked.

"Whatever you want," he said, observing to the flowers around.

"Hm, we could keep walking, or sit by the lake again. It's quiet there," she mused.

"Yeah, that's good," Sirius said.

"You sure?" she asked, leaning on his shoulder but already knowing the answer.

"Yes," he said, angling towards it.

"Alright," she said, letting him lead the way.

They found a sunny spot to sit in, Sirius dangling his feet in the water. Ashley leaned her head on his shoulder contently, reading her book and once again living up the contact while she could.

Remus studied the map, trying to locate Sirius to tell him that James needed help with an experiment. Ashley was too absorbed in the book to focus on who was around, Sirius absently playing with her hair again. Remus finally spotted him across the lake, frowning as he approached and figured out who he was still with.

Sirius hummed a little as he combed through her hair, catching movement out of the corner of his eye, looking over and frowning, mumbling, "Uhoh."

"Hm?" Ashley hummed in reply, not looking up as she wasn't fully paying attention.

Remus started walking again, saying, "Ok, what's going on?"

Ashley blinked, vaguely recognizing the voice and looking up, saying, "Oohh," quietly.

Sirius said, "Um...we're hanging out?"

"Right," Remus said, crossing his arms.

Ashley leaned up, saying, "Don't get your panties in a twist, we weren't doing anything."

"You hate each other," Remus reminded him.

"Not really," Sirius said with confusion. "I mean, she's a lot better than I used to think," getting a look from Ashley.

"Right," Remus said, "all of a sudden you're alright with each other."

"Maybe you shouldn't judge a book by its cover," Ashley said with a smug grin.

"You two have been seeing each other for how long?" Remus asked.

Ashley said, "We're not seeing each other," in exasperation, Sirius making an upset whine much like a dog, getting a look from her.

"Right." Remus said.

Sirius said, "I mean, I only really realized how fantastic she was yesterday," making Ashley frown.

"Uh huh," Remus said.

"No, really," Sirius said, "I guess I just never gave it much thought before."

"Right," Remus said, glancing to Ashley

"I feel like you're blaming me," she said with sarcasm.

"No, really," Remus said.

Sirius said, "She didn't do anything," firmly.

"Right," Remus said, "this had better be a joke."

Ashley said, "Something wrong with hanging out with more than three of the same people?"

"There's something wrong with seeing someone you apparently used to hate," Remus said.

Ashley shrugged, saying, "The world's a strange place."

"You're joking, Sirius, right?" Remus said.

Sirius shook his head, saying, "I don't know how I could joke about loving her," with a serious tone, Ashley awkwardly looking away.

Remus hesitated a moment before saying, "Fine," and turning back towards the castle.

"Where are you going?" Sirius asked.

"The castle," Remus said, not turning around. Ashley put a hand on Sirius' shoulder, Sirius frowning from being torn between his friend and girlfriend, staying with her and watching Remus go.

Remus got back to their dorm room and slammed the door after himself, walking over to the bed. James winced when the door slammed, asking, "I take it you found him or ran into Bella?"

"I found him," Remus said, flopping onto his bed.

"So...is he coming back to help or?" James said cautiously.

"No, no he's not," Remus said, "he's too busy talking to his girlfriend."

James blinked, asking, "His what?" and suffering a minor brain malfunction.

"Yeah," Remus said, "Ashley. Apparently he's in love."

James paused, saying, "No, no. I don't buy it."

"You can go talk to him if you want," Remus said, "he's by the lake."

James said, "Screw that, something's up. You can't honestly believe he's in love with _Ashley_?"

"You should have seen him," Remus said.

James exchanged a look with Peter, saying, "No, there's got to be some explanation. You haven't seen the way he looks at you when he thinks I'm not paying attention."

"Sure," Remus said, "go talk to him, then."

"Well...I mean, what'd he say about it?" James asked. "He must've offered _some_ explanation."

"No, not really," Remus said.

"Come on," James said. "He's a good actor, you sure he wasn't playing around? There's got to be some ulterior motive."

"Sure," Remus said, "go talk to him."

"Seriously?" James asked, looking to Peter and making a 'help me out' hand gesture. Peter shrugged, making a helpless motion as Remus opened a book grumpily. "We'll figure it out," James said. "I'll ask him about it tonight."

"Mhmm," Remus hummed, focusing on the book. James sighed, going back to his new prank toy alone, wondering what Sirius was up to.

~~~~~~~

Remus was far less willing to scout out the forest, but had been mostly strong-armed by James to walk with them. Sirius rubbed his arm, feeling like he had left Remus in a sore spot but glad he had still come along as Ashley had wanted. Remus was determinedly ignoring Sirius, talking to Peter instead as they walked. Sirius frowned, wanting to talk to him as James mostly took the lead in weaving through the trees, all of them with hands on their wands.

After a while Peter said, "What are we looking for?"

Sirius shrugged, "Nothing, we're just scouting."

"What are we scouting for?" Peter asked.

James said, "I think the idea is mapping the area out so we can lead Remus around if he breaks out again."

"Right," Peter mumbled.

Sirius said, "We don't have to explore _too_ much more."

There was an awkward silence before Peter said, "...Right."

James sighed, "That's it, you two need to make up," as he stopped walking, looking to Remus and Sirius.

Remus stopped, giving James a look and saying, "Now definitely isn't the time."

"Now is totally the time. This is too weird," James said.

Sirius rubbed his arm, saying, "Yeah but none of us wanted to point it out, thus making it more awkward."

"And it's only an hour before sundown," Remus said.

James said, "Fine, we can turn around, but you need to make up on the way there." He turned just before a flash of red illuminated the trees, hitting him in the back and making him fall unconscious. Before the others could react, another pulse of magic sent Remus' wand from his hand, Sirius turning to figure out who was behind it as Ashley stepped out from the trees.

Remus growled, his hair practically standing on end as Peter took a few steps back. Sirius asked, "Ashley?" with a mix of joy and confusion.

"Sorry Sirius, this isn't anything personal," as she knocked Peter out with the same flash of red, not even looking his direction. Remus growled again, sounding a little bit less than human as he did. Ashley said, "If you're going to turn into a tiger on me, I'll be taking much more drastic measures than stupefication." Remus growled again, apparently beyond remembering the English language.

She sighed, knocking him out as Sirius blinked, not sure what he was expecting and feeling hurt that she'd attack his friends after he followed her instructions so well. "Nothing personal," she repeated, shortly before Sirius' vision went dark as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yaaaay something actually happened! and as always we'd love to hear what our lovely readers think. it gives us some motivation *winkwinknudge*. constructive criticisms are always welcome, too ^_^


	22. The Kidnapper

Remus woke up feeling something off, his senses quickly coming in tune, though his brain was still muddled and confused. He could make out muffled voices, one a deeper male tone and the other a feminine tone that must've belonged to Ashley. He started to stand and hit his head on the cage, falling again with a growl.

James looked over, having been the first one to wake up. "Remus?" he said quietly. Remus made a confused sound, holding his head. "Good, you're awake," James sighed. "You feeling alright?" He made a more pained noise, Peter glancing to the sky in a lookout for the full moon. "Shit," James whispered, Sirius shifting and sitting up.

"Damn, my head feels like shit," Sirius mumbled, looking around. He blinked, asking, "We didn't drink last night did we?"

Remus made a whining sound, Peter looking to Sirius a bit panicked. James hissed, "No, your apparent girlfriend set us up for some trap."

"My...what the hell are you on about?" Sirius asked.

"Ashley," Peter said, watching Remus.

"Ash...ooohh," Sirius said, pieces of memory returning. "I...shit," he said, looking to Remus. "Dude, I'm sor--Remus?"

James frowned, mumbling, "This isn't going to end well." Remus whined again, curling up on the ground and growling.

"Damnit, where are our wands?" Sirius asked.

"We don't-" James started to reply, shortly before they heard footsteps coming from behind the only door in the cellar-like room. Remus growled again at the voice, forcing himself a little upright.

The door made a few clicks before opening, a broad beast of a man stepping through, grunting, "You're right, they're awake."

"I'm pretty much always right," Ashley said, following him into the room and sitting on a table that had what resembled medieval torture instruments on it.

Remus made a whining sound, collapsing again, as being stunned had disrupted the process. The man said, "So, as long as I have your attention, let's make something clear. Don't cause trouble for me and I'll put you through as little pain as possible."

Remus growled again, Peter asking, "What's going on?"

"I'm known as Skoll," he replied, Ashley covering a snort. Skoll glared at her before continuing, "You four are being recruited for the greatest opportunity of your lifetimes."

"Great," Peter mumbled, glancing to Remus again.

James asked, "I don't suppose we get to know what for?"

"Not until I know you'll be willing to join," Skoll said. "A...friend of mine is collecting animagi."

"Uuuuuhhhhh..." Peter said, looking to Remus again.

James said, "Oh? What sort of animagi?" with interest, though Sirius could tell he was leading Skoll on.

Skoll said, "Doesn't matter what kind. He's taking any and all willing participants to his cause."

"Uuhhh..." Peter mumbled again, watching Remus convulse.

Skoll glanced to him and raised a brow, asking, "What's wrong with him?"

"He growled at me before he got here, maybe he's new to the animagi thing," Ashley said.

"You didn't check that before bringing them?" Skoll asked flatly.

"You told me to bring them!" Ashley retorted.

Remus convulsed again, growling as Peter said, "uuuuuUUUHH..."

Sirius said, "Yeah, we'd love to join, there's just a slight..." he pointed to Remus' cage. Remus groaned this time, tensing and groaning again as he started to grow.

Skoll asked, "Exactly what sort of animagi is..."

Ashley rubbed her neck, getting her wand out and saying, "I have no idea."

Remus whined, stretching and making the others wince as they could hear bones popping. James mumbled, "I see why he never kept us around..." as he scooted a bit further away from Remus' cage. Sirius watched, transfixed and horrified, wanting to lean away but too entranced.

Peter winced as he heard what sounded like tendons snapping, Remus whining again as his face elongated and his limbs stretched. "What the hell...?" Skoll asked, drawing his wand as well.

"I might've made a miscalculation," Ashley said, putting the full moon factor into effect with all due speed.

Remus convulsed a final time, collapsing to all fours and panting for a moment, whining again before straightening, standing right out of the cage and howling. Skoll frowned, firing a stupefy spell at him, Sirius mumbling, "Ooohh no..."

"Uh, guys," Peter said, "what do we do?" 

The spell bounced right off Remus' fur, the wolf howling again and stalking towards Skoll. James said, "Peter, we're counting on you, find our wands and unlock these cages," as Skoll ignored him, firing another spell at Remus as Ashley took the smarter route of backing away with her wand at the ready.

Peter looked to James, saying, "What?!"

"You can do it," James said, turning into a stag.

Sirius frowned, saying, "Good luck, mate," and turned into a dog.

Peter spent a moment hyperventilating before turning into a rat, slipping through his cage and scurrying towards the wands.

Meanwhile, the werewolf was closing in on Skoll, growling. Ashley noted they had all turned into animals, losing track of Peter but having her attention caught shortly by the advancing wolf. Skoll growled back to Remus with a deep, rumbling sound, Ashley mumbling, "Oh great," as James and Sirius looked to him in concern.

Peter scurried back with the wands, Remus howling in response. "Barry, keep a hold of yourself," Ashley said.

"I told you not to _call me that_ ," Skoll snapped, Sirius and James snorting despite the situation.

Peter gave Sirius and James their wands, climbing up to James' antlers. Sirius barked at James and Peter, wondering how he was supposed to operate a wand with no opposable thumbs. James snorted in response, being worse off with hooves. Peter squeaked at them, wiggling his tiny paws as Remus slashed at Barry.

Barry moved back, firing another spell that was meant to shatter bones as Ashley pondered over all her werewolf knowledge, knowing he had no control in his wolf form and wondering, in that case, why he wasn't focused on the other Marauders. She figured it out in the minute, turning into a husky, to the other Marauders' surprise, and bolting to the door. Peter squeaked again, trying to convey leaving.

Skoll's spells were proving ineffective, if only managing to disorient Remus for milliseconds at a time. Sirius frowned, groaning and turning into a human as long as Remus was focused on Skoll. The wolf stayed focused, getting progressively more irritated and aggressive with every spell.

Sirius muttered, "Alohamora," to the lock on his cage, the door clicking open and giving James' cell a similar treatment before quickly turning back into a dog, nodding to James and Peter before growling and bolting after Ashley.

Remus ignored them going, instead focused on getting to Barry. Skoll growled again, not wanting to use the killing curse on the rare specimen (and not entirely positive it'd work, anyway). James grunted nervously, scraping the ground with a hoof and not wanting to bolt with the chance of Barry firing a spell at him.

Remus growled back, lunging suddenly and going for his throat. Barry moved aside, still getting knocked back by the force of the wolf. His wand escaped his hand, leaving Barry with his final option. Before Remus could bite him, Barry's form grew as well, erupting into a broad form with fur, a monstrous bear with dark fur appearing in his place. He shoved a paw against Remus' chest to hold him back, James raising a brow when he realized the connection between his name and his animagus.

Remus growled, biting at him anyways as Peter squeaked. Barry roared loudly at him, rolling and shoving him off forcefully, throwing him into the table of tools and righting himself. Peter squeaked again, tapping James' head. James shook his head slowly, definitely not wanting to cross between a werewolf and a bear in the form of a deer. Peter tapped more insistently, Remus growling and lunging again.

Barry stood on his hind legs, not so easily toppled over as he scratched Remus' shoulder, roaring as James finally caved, forcing his legs to move and making a very wide circle around them, following Sirius more clumsily up the stairs.

Remus growled, slashing his leg in retribution and lunging again, biting at the shoulder. Barry roared in pain, shoving him off and landing roughly on all fours, throwing himself forward to bite Remus' arm. Remus growled, pulling his arm free and ignoring the wounds to bite the bear's neck. Barry made a garbled sound, pulling back and hitting Remus' wounded shoulder with a paw.

Remus growled, redoubling his efforts and clawing at Barry's face. Barry shut his eyes instinctively, feeling a scrape down his cheek and growling, rearing up and shoving Remus off again in a last-ditch attempt, backing away. Remus howled, sensing victory close at hand and scratching Barry's face again. Barry growled, making a grunt and continuing to back away, seeing if the wolf would take the victory for the time being. Remus lunged again, this time gouging at Barry's ribs.

Barry roared, swiping and hitting Remus' face with the flat of his paw, nicking the cheek with the tips of his claws, thankful that bear-strength force was formidable in and of itself. The wolf reared up, slamming down on the back of the bear's neck and knocking it out.

~~~~~~~

Sirius was busy sitting on Ashley by the time James and Peter arrived, James grunting in question. Ashley growled at him, Sirius gesturing to where he had bitten the back of her ankle. James rolled his eyes, trotting forward and poking Ashley with his antlers, the husky yipping at him and growling again. Sirius hopped off her, tilting his ears and listening out for any signs of being followed, turning into a human and saying, "I don't know how much time I have to talk clearly, but you're coming with us and explaining exactly what the hell is going on." He turned back into the black dog, Ashley nodding with irritation and standing carefully, trotting off with them at a slow pace for her wounded leg.

Peter looked around nervously, not seeing any signs of bears or wolves in the forest. James flicked his ear into Peter to make him stop scampering back and forth across his head. Peter squeaked at him, eventually climbing back into his antlers.

Ashley's tail drooped the whole way, Sirius looking a bit more content but vigilant, knowing they were nearing the shack and beginning to worry about Remus. Peter hopped off James' antlers, hopping into the crack in the wall, turning into a human, and unlocking the door.

James grunted to him in thanks, Sirius making Ashley enter the house first, glancing behind him and barking, sitting down to signify he'd wait outside. James shrugged, motioning with his head for Peter to shut the door. He did, sitting on the decrepit couch as a human.

James and Ashley transformed as well, James shouting, "Bark twice if he's coming." Once there was a single bark in reply, James sighed, "Well, better settle in, could be a long night," as he motioned for her to hand over her wand.

Ashley raised a brow at him, asking, "What makes you think I'm going to hand it over?" shortly before Sirius growled from outside.

James said, "Because you just put us through a lot of shit and could've gotten all of us killed. You owe us, and I'd rather not use force." She groaned, handing him her wand grudgingly and leaning back with her arms crossed, settling in to wait.

In an hour a wounded werewolf was making its way back to the shack, noting the dog by the front door. Sirius' tail wagged, barking twice to let the humans in the house know before standing, trotting over to him. Remus sniffed at him briefly before ignoring him, limping into the house.

Sirius' tail dropped immediately, ears folding down as he followed Remus, making a whining noise. Remus ignored him, licking his shoulder and making it into the house, finding the room occupied by a husky, deer, and alarmed rat. James tilted his ears back nervously, Sirius trotting next to Remus and nudging his unwounded side with his nose.

Remus huffed, ignoring the trio and going to settle on the floor. Sirius whined again, James releasing a breath and hopping onto an unoccupied couch, settling down. Remus licked his various wounds and set his head down, closing his eyes. Sirius sat down, whining again and lying by him, wondering if Remus would continue ignoring him, or worst case scenario try to chase him off. Remus snorted at him without otherwise moving, Peter glancing to James.

James shrugged, watching with amusement and wondering if he'd somehow manage an apology in animal form, even Ashley interested with their interaction. Sirius yipped, licking Remus' arm. Remus shoved Sirius back without really hurting him, keeping his head in the same position

Sirius whined, shaking his head and keening softly, scooting closer again but not trying to lick him. Remus finally actually opened his eyes, growling at Sirius. Sirius' ears drooped, setting his head on his paws and making puppy eyes. Remus snorted at him again, putting his head back down. Sirius' tail wagged again, rolling over happily and settling back by him, lying down contently. Remus snorted, standing and going to sit upstairs instead.

Sirius pouted, following him up as James rolled his eyes, wondering how long the grudge would last. Remus made it very clear to Sirius that he wasn’t allowed to follow him up by shoving a couch in front of the stairs before Sirius could get past it, settling down on his own. Sirius huffed, barking and scratching at the couch. Remus made a loud barking sound back before settling. Sirius whined again, continuing to paw at the furniture until it was clear Remus wasn't about to give up his stubbornness, finally forcing Sirius to retreat downstairs to settle on a rug in fatigue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and thus we finally get a look at the villain, but i'm going to admit due to poor planning we're not going to see much of him :/ sorr bout that


	23. Truth be Told

Remus woke up the next morning, his first immediate thought being that he felt even worse than usual. There was snoring coming from downstairs, James dozing after not-so-guiltily knocking Ashley out with a stun spell. Remus stayed still for another few moments, regretting his life choices and wondering what exactly had happened before sitting up slowly, groaning.

Sirius blinked his eyes open, not getting much sleep and tilting his ears, hearing definite human movement from upstairs. He stood and shook himself off before scrambling up the steps, continuing his pawing at the furniture mission. Remus grabbed spare clothes rubbing a hand through his hair and remembering that he was completely cut up, also fixing bandages over his wounds. Sirius whined softly, continuing to scratch the back of the couch, wearing another hole in it. Remus eventually stumbled down the stairs, desperately wanting a warm meal and painkillers.

Sirius perked his ears forward when he heard Remus, wagging his tail and rearing up to put his front paws on the back of the couch to look over it. Remus kept ignoring him, instead climbing over the couch carefully. Sirius snorted, trotting beside him and nudging his hand with his nose, making the keening sound again.

"Seriously, Sirius, piss off," Remus mumbled, looking around the room.

Sirius' expression neutralized, turning into a human and saying, "Pardon me for wanting to apologize in a cuter way," quietly.

"Well done," Remus said, going to a back wall and grabbing a water bottle.

"Would you at least give me a chance to explain before giving me a total cold shoulder?" Sirius said.

"Fine," Remus said, sipping his water.

"Thank you," Sirius said. "I haven't gotten much time to clarify exactly why I fell for...that, but I swear to you, it was through no fault of my own."

"Uh huh," Remus said, sipping the water again.

"I don't know what hit me," Sirius said. "I might as well have been piss drunk on god knows what, but it's like I couldn't even think clearly, because all my thoughts were bent around her. Damn scary now that I reflect on it," he mumbled.

"Right," Remus said, capping the bottle.

"You honestly think I had control over it? After what we were just starting?" Sirius asked. "I thought you knew me chasing girls was an act!"

"It makes it even more convincing when you keep doing it," Remus said.

Sirius frowned, "As yourself this then. How could I fall for _Ashley_ for a _single night_ after falling for you long before that?"

Remus frowned, saying, "I’m listening to her explanation too."

"You think she'll tell the truth?" Sirius asked. "Rem, it would take a fuckin' love potion to make me cheat on-" Remus paused, remembering the argument they'd had with Bella. Sirius blinked, running a hand through his hair and mumbling, "That'd explain a lot, actually."

"Wow," Remus mumbled.

"Is an apology kiss in order?" Sirius asked hopefully.

Remus hesitated a long moment before sighing, saying, "I think so."

"Thank god," Sirius said, moving to kiss him, putting a hand on his jaw. Remus wrapped an arm around him, trying not to move the other too much. Sirius sighed, "That feels so much better," before giving him a gentle hug. Remus sighed, resting his head on Sirius's shoulder. "You...want to wake Ashley up now or?" Sirius asked.

"I would like to punch her," Remus said.

Sirius chuckled, "Can't say I blame you, I have a similar feeling. You can have first shot."

Remus kissed his cheek, standing and walking over before kicking her side, saying, "Rise and shine."

Ashley started awake with an 'oomf', rolling over and mumbling, "Are you always this charming?" flatly.

"Yes," Remus said, kicking her again for good measure.

She winced, standing up and drawling, "You two are _perfect_ for each other."

"I wasn't sure if you were awake." Remus said.

Ashley snorted, "Yeah, I'm sure," as she rubbed her side.

"You have explaining to do," Remus said, going to wake up the deer collapsed on the couch.

James grunted tiredly at him, flicking an ear as Ashley crossed her arms, saying, "I don't know what you mean."

"Uh huh," Remus said, poking James again. James bleated, picking his head up and shaking it, blinking tiredly at him. "Sirius laid lily," Remus said.

James was up in a heartbeat, Sirius saying, "Hey!" as James bleated angrily, jumping off the couch and scraping a hoof on the ground as a bull before charging.

"I was kidding," Remus said, grabbing his antler, "needed you up quickly."

James grunted, shifting to human form and rubbing an eye, asking, "Why? And don't scare me like that."

"Because i need to figure out what's going on and the...Ashley is awake." Ashley made a 'thanks' smile, the expression dropping to a grimace.

Remus resisted the urge to give her a rude gesture, asking, "Where's peter?"

James said, "I don't know, I thought he was napping in my antlers."

Remus looked around, eventually grabbing his wand and saying, "Accio rat."

Sirius snorted when a rat floated into the room, asking, "Is that him, or did you just accio some poor creature?"

The rat turned back into Peter, falling to the ground undignified. James said, "I think he got Peter," with a thoughtful expression.

"Morning," Peter said, standing.

"Morning," Sirius chuckled, Ashley not offering a greeting.

"So," Remus said, "what the hell is going on."

Ashley said, "You four aren't used to a few mishaps like this? I got lost when you turned out to be a werewolf."

"A few mishaps does not include Sirius getting drugged and us getting kidnapped," Remus said.

Ashley shrugged, "I was under orders, with permission to use any method I deemed necessary."

"And that's what you have to explain," Remus said.

She raised a brow, saying, "I'd have figured it was self explanatory."

Sirius asked, "You don't carry veratiserum, do you, Rem?"

"No," Remus said, "but I’m really rather annoyed and it's still rather close to the full."

Ashley said, "That's not a real threat and you know it. You can't wolf out more than once during the full moon, and if you do and I get killed you'd beat yourself up even over _my_ death."

"No," Remus said, "not what I meant." He leaned in a little, saying, "I’m still only three hours since I was a wolf, I don't think you understand the leftover strength I have. I could snap you in half if I wanted, and right now I think I’d enjoy that."

She frowned, Sirius raising a brow and resisting the urge to comment about finding it hot. She said, "Same ethics apply, Rem," she spat the name. "And as much as you'd enjoy breaking my bones, if you touch me, the whole school can know by tonight that the quiet nerd is a mutant."

"You make it sound like you'd be able to go back," Remus said.

Ashley said, "Even if I go missing they'd find me eventually," hiding her growing nerves.

"You'd like to think that, wouldn't you," Remus said.

Ashley glared, Sirius saying, "We can do this all-" shortly before there was a crash at the front door.

Remus turned, snapping, " _What now_?"

James drew his wand, a roar shaking the house as Ashley said, "I thought you killed him!" to Remus.

"It's not like I _remember_ what happens when I’m a wolf," Remus said, "who's him?!"

"Barry," Ashley said, "he's-" shortly before a large bear wandered into the room, roaring at them, Remus in particular.

Remus sighed heavily, saying, "I vote we run for the castle."

Ashley said, "You're not going to try to stun him?" as Barry reared up. 

Sirius said, "I don't know if this is up for debate," before turning into a dog, running for the bear and skidding behind him, jumping into his back and biting the bear's ear.

Remus frowned, saying, "If me, James, and Peter stunned him at once would it work?"

Ashley said, "I think your boy toy is buying us time," before she ducked around Remus, snatched her wand from James' back pocket, and turned into a husky before bolting for the door. Remus resolved to punch her later, instead running after her and dragging Peter with him. Sirius growled as the bear tried to reach behind himself, ending up on all fours to try to shake him off, but Sirius was determinedly attached.

Remus hesitated, saying, "Sirius, come on." The bear ended up ignoring him, Sirius' bite not nearly as bad as Remus' had been, turning towards where Remus was backing up after James and Peter had fled. Remus waited for him before sprinting too, really glad he'd put on clothes before the bear had gotten there.

The bear took chase, Sirius jumping off him and biting his ankle, making the bear trip. Sirius backed away, barking ferally as his hackles raised, baring his teeth. Remus paused, having hoped Sirius had followed him. He stopped halfway to the castle, caught between getting help and staying.

After dodging around the bear for awhile, both of them growling and Barry much more on the offensive, snapping and swiping at him, clipping him on the arm once but otherwise not doing much. Sirius eventually turned into a human, drawing his wand quickly and firing a stun spell that disoriented the bear before sprinting back towards the castle. Remus saw Sirius coming and started to back up again, watching him until he was close enough and starting to sprint again.

Sirius said, "Worried about me?" with a smirk as they ran.

"Shut up," Remus said, turning into the castle and glad it was Sunday—students wouldn't be out of bed yet.

They slowed down inside the castle walls, Sirius saying, "He shouldn't be able to enter castle grounds, right?" between pants.

"I hope not," Remus said, glancing behind himself.

"You think James and Peter went to the headmaster?" Sirius asked.

"I don't know," Remus said, "are you ok?"

Sirius said, "Besides this," as he tugged his shirtsleeve back to show the scratched arm. "By the way, you...may or may not have bitten Barry."

"Oh," Remus frowned, "oh."

Sirius said, "I'm sure it'll be fine. He was in bear form when you did, so...I mean, I don't know how long until that sort've thing takes effect but..."

"I don't know either," Remus said, "I’ve never bitten..."

Sirius pat his shoulder lightly, saying, "Don't stress it. Let's find James and Peter, and keep a lookout for the bitch," he smirked, the term having a new double meaning.

Remus smiled, saying, "I'm taking a hell of a nap later."

"Hope you don't mind if I join you," Sirius said, nudging his side as they started off.

"No," Remus said, "that'd definitely make it better."

"Good," Sirius said. "Maybe we should go to our dorm; it'd probably be the first place James would think of."

"Right," Remus said, "right."

"By the way, you threatening Ashley was pretty damn hot," Sirius grinned sideways at him.

"I was lying," Remus said, "well, not about the strength thing, but..."

Sirius shrugged, "Still hot," as they went. Remus rolled his eyes, nudging Sirius' shoulder. Sirius mumbled, "Nothing wrong with seeing you act dominant once in awhile," and glanced away nonchalantly. Remus raised a brow, looking over to him.

Sirius simply started whistling instead, not making eye contact as they started climbing the moving stairs. Remus sighed, deciding to resolve that later and saying, "We need to see the nurse, too."

"Ah, right," Sirius said, "you wanna do that before we climb three flights of stairs?"

"We should probably still find James and peter first," Remus sighed.

"Sure," Sirius said, continuing up the stairs. "They'll probably want to come along, make sure we both take our medicine," he said theatrically.

"More than likely," Remus sighed, turning as the staircase moved.

They entered the commons, asking a second year if he'd seen James and Peter. The second year nodded and pointed them to their dorm, Sirius ruffling his hair in thanks. Remus remembered vaguely that he was probably bloody but didn't really worry about it, instead following Sirius up. Sirius opened the door, James sighing in relief, saying, "We were about to get Dumbledore involved."

"We might have to anyways," Remus said.

James said, "I don't know, I think it depends how determined Barry is," he said the name in a mocking tone. "And you're an idiot," he pointed to Sirius.

"So hurtful to the one that sacrificed himself," Sirius said dramatically.

"You were a bit of an idiot," Remus said.

Sirius said, "Come on, Remus had already had a rough night, and I don't know, my animagus just seemed like the best bet at the time."

"Mhmm," Remus mumbled, crossing his arms and saying, "What happened to Ashley?"

James shrugged, "We lost her. I can only assume she's back in the castle."

"Great," Remus mumbled, "what the _hell_ happened?"

Sirius sat on his bed, saying, "I don't know where Ashley brought us, but it must've been deeper into the forbidden forest."

"We woke up in cages and Barry came in to tell us he wanted to recruit us for some army of animagi," James added.

"That explains some," Remus said, rubbing his arm.

"You wolfed out and broke your cage, which was pretty badass," James said. "Ashley turned tail when she found out she had to become an animagus for you to ignore her. Peter got our wands all by himself so we could unlock our cages," he grinned.

Peter smiled, Remus saying, "And the bear was..."

"Barry," James and Sirius said at the same time.

"Who was the guy who kidnapped us," Remus said.

"Yeah," Sirius said, "he was an animagus, too."

"Right," Remus said, "does anyone else need to go to the hospital wing?"

James shook his head, saying, "We managed to get out unscathed."

"Good," Remus said, "I should probably see her."

Sirius nodded, "Me too."

James said, "Good thing it's Sunday; we'll come with you."

"Are we going to think of a story?" Remus asked.

Sirius said, "I think Madame Pomfrey has seen us in enough conditions not to question it anymore."

"True," Remus sighed, heading back out of the dorm room.

The others followed him, Sirius saying, "Hopefully it won't take her long to patch us up."

Remus pushed the door open, the nurse apparently not amused to see them again. Sirius waved and put on a charming smile, saying, "Hello Madame-"

"Really, boys, what now," she said, bustling over, "i've probably seen more of you than your own mothers."

Sirius said, "I guarantee you you're right when it comes to me." She gave him a look, sheparding them onto beds.

James said, "Wonderful to see you again, Madame Pomfrey. Looking young as ever," he grinned.

"Sit down, the both of you," she said, untying Remus' bandages.

Sirius sat down with a sigh, taking his outer robe off and sliding his shirtsleeve back. She was busy tutting over Remus, summoning a disinfectant. Sirius waited patiently, knowing Remus by far had the worse wounds to be taken care of. In a few minutes the nurse was checking him out as well, dabbing his cuts. Sirius observed her working, as there wasn't much else to do, glad she wasn't questioning. She glanced up, asking, "Anyone else?"

James shook his head, saying, "I was only along to see our lovely nurse," with a grin.

"Right," she said, "did you miss breakfast?"

Sirius said, "Maaaybe?"

"I'll send for some," she sighed.

"Thanks, we appreciate it," James said.

"Just stay out of trouble," she said, going to find an elf to ask for food.

Sirius said, "It's like she hasn't learned about us these five years," with a grin when she left the room.

"We should try to lie low for a little bit, though," Remus said.

James nodded, "Agreed. I'll keep an eye out for Ashley on the map; I'm glad we didn't bring it along last night."

"Right," Remus said, "what are we going to do if we see her?"

Sirius said, "I didn't get to punch her, but I did bite her ankle."

"I meant, are we supposed to act like something happened?" Remus said. "She does have blackmail on me."

Sirius said, "I don't know if anyone would believe her. I mean, she doesn't have proof..."

"But once people start looking, they'll see it," Remus said.

James sighed, "True. I mean, if we snitch to Dumbledore, he'd probably give us some eldery wise lecture about forgiveness."

"He'd probably also point out he's let us stay, and Ashley isn't as bad in comparison," Sirius chuckled.

"I'm not as bad as trying to willingly kidnap people," Remus said.

Sirius shrugged, "I know. Maybe he already knows she's untrustworthy. He seems to let a lot of those people into the school, like Bella."

"But he didn't have a legal reason not to," Remus said.

Sirius sighed, "I suppose so. Anyway, we should at least tell him about Barry."

"Alright," Remus said, "how are we explaining that you were involved?"

Sirius paused, saying, "Uuhh," with a glance to James and Peter.

James said, "That's a good question, unless he already knows. Seems like something he'd know."

"Let's assume for now he doesn’t know," Remus said, "though he probably does"

Sirius said, "Wouldn't surprise me. We could just claim we didn't know why he kidnapped us?"

"And he'd believe that?" Remus said.

James and Sirius snorted at the same time, Sirius saying, "He might buy it for our sakes."

"Fine, fine," Remus sighed, leaning his head back.

Sirius yawned, saying, "Damn, the no sleep from last night is catching up to me."

"Is for me too," Remus said, rubbing an eye.

James looked to Peter, saying, "Maybe it's me, but I feel like they're hinting at something."

"Like sleeping?" Remus grumbled.

James rubbed his chin, saying, "I was picking up more on you two wanting alone time so you're silently asking Peter and I to handle talking to the headmaster."

"I want a nap," Remus said.

Sirius said, "As do I, but he'll never believe us. We do need to wait on our breakfast, though."

"Right," Remus said, "I’m starving."

James chuckled, "You always are, these mornings."

"It's a metabolism thing," Remus said.

Sirius said, "I just hope Pomfrey doesn't go light on us."

"I think she knows better," Peter said.

James nodded, "I should hope so."

She came back a minute later with a tray heaped with food, saying, "I should be paid more for this."

"Yes you should," Sirius said, rubbing his hands together as he observed the food.

She sighed, giving them an "I’m watching you" gesture before going to her office. James took a piece of toast, saying, "Cheers, lads," before taking a bite. Remus grabbed a muffin grinning as Peter poured drinks.


	24. Settling In

Sirius and Remus managed to finally get James and Peter off their tails, making them go talk to Dumbledore as they made their way into their dorm. Remus yawned, saying, "That was a weird night."

Sirius chuckled, "Even by our standards?" as he shed his outer robe to throw on his trunk.

"Yes," Remus said, rubbing his face and setting his wand on his desk.

"Well, by all accounts it could've been a lot worse," Sirius said.

"Still," Remus said, sitting on the edge of his bed.

Sirius sat on his, saying, "By the way, I don't know if I...properly apologized to you for that scare regarding..."

"I'm over it," Remus said, "s'alright."

"Is it?" Sirius asked, raising a brow and leaning forward.

"Yeah," Remus said, "I should have figured out something was wrong."

Sirius shook his head, saying, "I'd be in denial if you fell for someone else, so. There's that."

"That's ridiculous," Remus said.

"So is me falling for someone else and you fell for it," Sirius said.

"You were very convincing," Remus mumbled.

"It was a love potion. Believe me when I say I couldn't help it," Sirius said with a small smile, moving to sit by him and wrapping an arm around him. Remus smiled, leaning on his shoulder. After a moment Sirius said, "You know, there are other methods of apology...I mean some that could work to further prove I definitely only have an interest in you."

"Are you flirting with me the morning after a full moon?" Remus said, not opening his eyes.

"I've done more reckless things," Sirius smirked, nipping his ear.

Remus hummed, mumbling, "I’m not so sure."

"I'm pretty sure I haven't mentioned one or two things to you because I wanted to skip the danger lectures," Sirius said, kissing his jaw.

"You're just making it worse for yourself," Remus said.

"Yeaaah a little, I'm hoping we can forget about it because it's in the past anyway," Sirius grinned, sliding the hand around Remus under his shirt to rub his side.

"Mhmm," Remus mumbled, turning to kiss him. Sirius kissed him back, shifting a hand to Remus' lap. He started leaning Sirius back, setting a hand on his jaw. Sirius grinned, humming and gently biting Remus' lip, shifting his legs onto the bed and keeping one on his lower back.

Remus emitted a low rumbling noise almost similar to a purr, starting to slide Sirius' shirt up. Sirius mumbled, "You can still make that sound?" before kissing the crook of his neck.

"Mhmm," Remus hummed.

"I like it," Sirius said, switching his vocal cords to make a low growl, kissing his neck again. Remus grinned, then glanced down and raised a brow at his shirt.

Sirius paused when Remus did, leaning back to view his expression, glancing down to his shirt that read "I eat boys up, breakfast and lunch." He said, "Uh, in divination we were supposed to be viewing glimpses of the future..."

Remus snorted, saying, "Oh my god."

"No, I swear, I think it's a song from the future," Sirius said.

"Right," Remus snorted grinning.

Sirius said, "I liked it," with a returning grin, giving him a kiss.

"I can tell," Remus mumbled, kissing him back.

"And you thought I fell for a girl," Sirius snorted softly.

"Well," he mumbled, "maybe"

"I'm still waiting to prove myself," Sirius grinned, kissing him again.

"Go right ahead," Remus mumbled, pulling his shirt off.

~~~~~~~

About half an hour later, James and Peter reentered the room, Sirius and Remus both in their own beds, Sirius looking like he was taking a nap with a scarf on. Remus was spread out on his bed and snoring very quietly, wearing a slightly different outfit than before. James glanced between them, asking, "You two asleep?"

Sirius mumbled, "I would be, if the door opening hadn't flooded the room with noise from downstairs.

Remus woke up at the sound, mumbling, "Wuzat?"

James said, "Sorry to interrupt," with a smirk. He looked back to Sirius, asking, "Is that a scarf?"

"I got cold," Sirius shrugged. Remus mumbled unintelligible nonsense, turning over and blinking at James.

James said, "Yeah, I know you're tired, I'll-" before he saw a white shirt with sparkly red lettering tossed off to a side of the room. He bent and picked it up, asking, "Whose is this?"

Remus sat up slowly, rubbing his eyes. Sirius, at that point, was far from caring, asking, "Whose do you think?"

James raised a brow at him, asking, "Are you fucking serious?"

"Yeah," Remus mumbled, continuing to rub his eye.

James blinked, looking to Remus as Sirius said, "No, wait-"

"What?" Remus mumbled, looking up.

James said, "I KNEW IT!" loudly, pointing at Remus.

"What?" Remus repeated, blinking again.

"You practically just admitted you two have been having sex," James said, crossing his arms triumphantly.

Remus blinked at him, saying "...Wut."

Sirius sighed, "He asked 'are you fucking serious'."

"Oh," Remus said, glancing to Sirius, "now what?"

Sirius shrugged, "We both know we couldn't hide it from him forever."

"Damn right you couldn't," James smirked, punching Sirius' shoulder.

"Right," Remus said, Peter bouncing quietly in place, "can I go back to sleep?"

James said, "Sure, but you're not hearing the end of it when you're up."

"Great," Remus said, gathering his blankets and deciding, as they knew anyways, he didn't care anymore and flopped down next to Sirius.

Sirius blinked, scooting over but grinning, hooking an arm over him as James said, "Come on Peter, we'll fill them in when they're up."

Remus fell asleep again almost immediately, Peter grinning and following James. Sirius sighed, nuzzling his nose into Remus' neck and drifting off shortly after Peter shut the door. Remus woke up four hours later, blinking at the room and mumbling, "What time'sit?"

Sirius yawned, mumbling, "Dunno," as his arm tightened around him.

"This'snice," Remus said.

"Mm," Sirius hummed in agreement, sliding a foot between Remus'.

Remus sighed, after a minute saying, "Where are James and peter?"

"Probably waiting to hear us talking to barge in and call us out on dating," Sirius said.

"Great," Remus said, tucking his head into his shoulder.

Sirius grinned, saying, "We should've known it was coming," as he rubbed Remus' back slowly.

"Yup," Remus mumbled, shutting his eyes again.

Sirius said, "Maybe they're looking for Ashley."

"Maybe," Remus said, wincing when the door flew open again

James said, "Mooorning," with a grin, sitting on his bed heavily, making him bounce with glee. Peter grinned, sitting on his own bed as Remus groaned loudly.

Sirius looked to him, saying, "Rem, I think James got slipped a love potion, you better knock him out until we can find an antidote."

"With pleasure," Remus mumbled, sitting up.

James raised his hands, saying, "Woah there. I've only got one girl on my mind."

"Same thing," Remus grumbled.

"I'm pretty sure she didn't slip him a love potion, though," Sirius snorted. "He'd have had to give her one."

"That'd explain a lot, actually," Remus said, rubbing a hand though his hair.

James said, "I can't brew a stomach tonic. How do you expect me to make a love potion?"

"Buy it," Remus said.

James rolled his eyes, saying, "I happen to have won Lilly's heart on my own, thanks."

"Get it on a t-shirt," Remus mumbled, standing and stretching.

"Maybe I will," James said.

"She'll kick you in the nuts, mate," Sirius chuckled.

"More likely to hex you," Peter said.

James said, "Might be worth it."

"I don't think so," Sirius said. 

"Probably not," Remus said.

James sighed, "Fine, I won't make it a shirt. Anyway, we're getting off topic," he poked Sirius' and Remus' shoulders. Remus sighed, tilting his head back. James said, "I warned you about this. How long have I been right?" he smirked.

"Have you ever been right?" Remus asked.

James said, "Sure I have. Once or twice. The map was a good idea."

"That's true," Remus conceded, "what time is it?"

James said, "Just about noon."

"Great," Remus said, "time for lunch?"

James nodded, "We figured it'd be polite to wait for you."

"Thanks," Remus said, poking Sirius, "get up."

Sirius groaned, "I don't want tooo."

"Come ooooonnnn," Remus said, continuing to poke him.

Sirius sighed, "Fine, fine," as he sat up, scratching his head.

Peter grinned, Remus asking, "You gonna keep the scarf?"

"That depends on if the marks are gone," Sirius smirked.

"Then you might want a scarf," Remus mumbled.

Sirius said, "Fair enough," as James gave a look to Peter.

Peter was rummaging in his robes, eventually tossing a galleon over to James. James grinned, saying, "Thank you," as Sirius raised a brow.

"Really?" Remus asked.

"Yup," Peter grumbled.

James said, "I have more than one bet to collect."

"One is Lily isn't it," Remus said.

"It might be," James said with a grin.

"It wasn't even a bet on if," Remus said, "it was a bet on when, wasn't it."

"Maybe," James said, "and she owes me more than money."

"I don't want to know about that," Remus said.

"Oh, if you're sure," James said with a grin. "Get your underwear on, we'll meet you downstairs," he added, walking out. Remus flipped him off, Peter snorting.

Sirius said, "So, what'd Dumbledore have to say?" when he joined James downstairs.

James said, "He's calling some people from the Ministry to look into the Barry thing."

"We in trouble?" Remus asked.

"Nope," James replied, "but he did subtly hint that conformity for friendship is okay in this case," with a wink.

"Riiight," Remus said, raising a brow.

Sirius said, "Meaning he's happy letting us be furry friends together?"

"Sure is," James said.

"Well," Remus said, "still dangerous."

Sirius said, "And that's not going to stop us," with a grin, giving him a sideways hug.

"I can tell," Remus mumbled, nudging him.

James said, "Beyond that, we did manage to find our friend from Ravenclaw."

"Fantastic, can I hit her?" Remus said.

Sirius said, "You already kicked her, twice."

"But still," Remus said.

Sirius said, "Good point."

James said, "You can do whatever you want, if she leaves her dormitory."

"Is she really allowed to stay here?" Remus asked.

James nodded, taking on an old man voice to impersonate Dumbledore, saying, "Hopefully there's time for her yet to learn her lesson about spending time with dark wizards. We'll keep an eye on her, but perhaps it's better, for now, if you all forgive and forget."

"...Right," Remus said, serving himself pancakes

Sirius said, "I owe her a few things too for slipping me a love potion to begin with."

"I'll ignore her after that, though," Remus said.

James said, "You can't push her too far. She's got some blackmail, in case you've forgotten."

"Right," Remus sighed.

Sirius said, "I'll hex her legs together if she so much as mentions fur," with a grin.

"It's still risky, though," Remus said.

James said, "I don't think it could hurt to make sure she's not up to anything else."

"Very true," Peter said.

Sirius said, "Am I allowed to kiss Rem in front of her to make a point?"

"Yes," Remus said, not looking up from his pancakes.

Sirius grinned, "Fantastic," before taking a large bite of hash browns.

"I'm a little afraid now," Remus mumbled.

"Don't be," Sirius said, smirking and serving himself some french toast. Peter grinned, Lily wandering over.

James looked over with a grin, saying, "Good day, Lily."

"Hey, guys," Lily said, "you all alright?"

"When aren't we?" James said.

"We're fine, why do you ask?" Sirius asked, sipping some pumpkin juice.

"Cause something happened last night," Lily said, "and Sirius still smells like dog."

Sirius said, "Thanks," and lifted his goblet with sarcasm.

James said, "That'd be because someone came out of the closet last night," with a growing smile.

"Goddamnit, guys," Lily sighed, rummaging around in her pocket, "another month and I would have won."

Sirius said, "Correction, if James hadn't found my shirt you would've won."

"Don't ask," James said, holding a hand out.

"Great," she grumbled, handing him a small pile of sickles, "and I know something else happened last night."

Sirius said, "Mm, define something else, darling, it became a blur after we got back," he smirked as James pocketed his money.

She shot him a look, sighing and saying, "Okay I was trying to be subtle but last night was the full moon and you _all_ went to the hospital wing after so something happened."

James said, "Only those two needed it. And the Great Hall isn't the best place to talk about our furry friends."

She pinched the bridge of her nose, Remus saying, "We're all alright. I'll explain later."

Sirius said, "It's a long story."

"Fine," she sighed, sitting, "anything else I should know?"

Sirius chuckled, "There's a whole lot I could say about this morning," before taking a bite of french toast.

"I feel like I don't want to know a lot of it," she said.

James said, "Probably not, but if you see Ashley out of the Ravenclaw tower could you let us know?"

"Sure," she said, "why?"

Sirius said, "We all owe her a punch in the nose," taking a drink.

"Great," Lily said, rolling her eyes.

James said, "Let's just say she got in the way of the new relationship," with a glance to Remus and Sirius.

"Wooow," she said, "that's dangerous."

Sirius mumbled, "You have nooo idea."

"I kicked her," Remus said, "we're good."

James said, "A couple minutes ago a kick wasn't enough."

"It's enough that I won't specifically hunt her down," Remus said.

Sirius said, "I wouldn't stop you, for the record."

"That's probably good," Remus said.

James said, "Anyway, just let us know. We need to talk to her."

"I'll keep an eye out," she said, grabbing an apple juice.

"Thanks," James said, "can I hug you?"

"...Yes?" she said, glancing to him a little suspiciously.

"Calm down, it's a thank-you hug," James said, giving her a sideways hug, "and I'd rather warn you and avoid being hexed."

"Last time... nevermind," she sighed, hugging him back.

Sirius raised a brow, grinning slightly and asking, "What happened last time?"

"James knows," she said, "it had to do with a sticking spell. On my shirt."

James said, "It was completely accidental," before kissing her cheek.

"I'm sure," she said, Remus snorting.

Sirius grinned to himself, imagining it as he scooped some eggs onto his plate. "Wait, does Bell have anything to do with...?" Peter asked, having suddenly thought of it.

Sirius frowned, saying, "I don't know. She might've only served as a distraction."

"Aren’t they dating, though?" Peter asked.

Sirius chuckled, "Wouldn't surprise me, but Bell doesn't seem smart enough to have had any part of this."

"True," Remus said.

James said, "We can ask Ashley when we see her."

"Assuming she doesn't lie," Remus said.

Sirius said, "Even if they're dating I don't know if she'd bother covering for Bella."

"Of course," Remus sighed.

Sirius shrugged, "You never know. Even if she does lie to us, we have plenty of reasons to punch Bella too."

"Very true," Peter said.

James raised his hands, saying, "In any case, we'll find them after lunch."

"Right," Remus said, sipping his pumpkin juice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm gonna have to apologize, we're going to cut this fic a little shorter than it could have been. we'll probably end it with 25 or 26 chapters, depending on how much fluff for sirius and remus we end up writing X3 we just sort of lost our interest for writing it. maybe we'll try it again with a new plot sometime, we'll see.   
> as always, giving credit where credit is due! the idea for Sirius' shirt was based off this tumblr post here:   
> http://iangalager.tumblr.com/post/94448417732/real-talk-tho-sirius-would-own-a-shirt-that-says-i-eat
> 
> and the "are you fucking serious" joke comes from this lovely post here:  
> http://trappedinapentagram.tumblr.com/post/102305346805/angelfeathersintheimpala-the-marauders-sitting


	25. Interrogation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as per usual with our writing style (and because we get picky about the number of chapters) this particular chapter is gonna be a bit longer than the others, and it's the second to last. you all again have our sincere apologies for not taking this story as far as it could've gone with a villain in the plot, but you have our undying thanks for the reads/kudos! and to thank you back, we've added fluff to these last two chapters, cuz that's what we're good at X3

After lunch, James kept an eye on the map for Ashley as they planned what they wanted to ask her. "Do you think Barry is still around?" Remus asked.

James said, "That depends on if Dumbledore sent out anyone from the Ministry yet."

"What do we do if he comes here?" Peter asked.

James shrugged, "Fire some spells at him as one of us goes off for help?"

"We're allowed to do that?" Remus said

Sirius said, "Well, if he's attacking us then I can only assume so."

"And were just hoping it doesn’t come to that," Peter said

"Pretty much," Sirius nodded.

James said, "If he shows up, maybe he'll only come to collect Ashley."

"Maybe," Remus sighed

Sirius chuckled, "Maybe he'll take Bella as a bonus."

"Maybe we can sell her," Remus said.

Sirius said, "She'd only go for like five knuts, I don't know if it's worth it."

"Plus inflation," Remus mused

James said, "So...six knuts?" with a grin.

"Three knuts and half a peanut butter sandwich," Remus said

Sirius said, "Ooh, now you're getting a bit pricey," as he smirked.

"Just peanut butter, no jelly," Remus said.

James said, "I think we could push for that deal."

"But we might have to pay _him_ to take Bell," Peter said.

Sirius said, "I'd give him a lot more than three knuts to take her."

"We can start a pool of money," Remus said.

Sirius laughed as James said, "I think we'd get a good handful from Slytherin house."

"Might be enough to bribe him," Peter said.

James chuckled, "We can only hope. Anyway, I found Ashley on the map," he pointed to a spot nearby the Ravenclaw dormitories.

"Is she still hiding?" Remus asked.

James shrugged, "She'd have to leave her dorm eventually, so as not to be too suspicious. Even she doesn't know about the map, though."

"We could go scare her," Peter suggested

Sirius said, "I'm up for it. What kind of scare?"

"Pop in for a visit," Peter said.

James said, "That's assuming she stays outside her dorm and hopefully isn't waiting to see Bella."

"Who would _want_..." Remus mumbled.

Sirius shook his head, "She's not as smart as she makes herself out to be I guess. Come on, or we're gonna miss her." Remus sighed, standing and rubbing his hair.

James said, "Seems she's hovering around the same spot--probably reading," before tapping the map with his wand to wipe it clear and tucking it into his robe.

"Great," Remus said, getting his wand ready just in case

They followed James down a hall passing by the Ravenclaw dorms and up a set of stairs to a secluded space looking like it was meant as a miniature study. There were windows letting light into the circular room and cushy chairs and mats on the window seats. Ashley was occupying one of said window seats, and, as James had guessed, reading a book with a red cover.

Remus had his wand ready, Peter standing behind James. Sirius twirled his wand as James said, "You sure look calm given recent events."  
Ashley hardly flinched, though she frowned upon recognizing the voice. She looked up, glancing between the four of them and saying, "I figured you'd find me eventually."

"You're a genius," Remus said.

"Thanks," she said flatly, shutting the book. "You must think so if you think I'd fire a spell at you on school grounds," she glanced to his wand.

"You don't have a great track record," Remus said.

"I suppose not," she said.

James said, "You know why we're here."

"Can't say I do," she said, crossing her arms and leaning back.

"I'm sure you don't," Remus said.

"I'll give you credit for waiting to corner me in a private area, but it's not _that_ private," she said.

"Sound diluting charms are a great thing, aren't they?" Sirius grinned.

"Besides, I don't think you'd be willing to go somewhere private," Remus said.

"Touché," she said. "Even so, you really expect me to tell you black and white what you want to know?"

"No," Remus said, "but we expect something."

Ashley said, "Depends on what the something is."

"An accurate explanation," Remus said.

She chuckled, "Very specific today aren't you?"

Sirius said, "Personally I want to know why the love potion was a part of your whole plan."

She shrugged, "It was a convenient way to get you all to one spot. You trust each other a bit too much."

"Most people don't just assume their friends are untrustworthy," Remus said, "I think that's just you."

"That's called being cautious," Ashley said. "If you had tried it maybe you wouldn't have all ended up in Barry's cages, though admitted it didn't last long."

"If you hadn't gotten involved we wouldn't have either," Peter said.

"I had a job to do. You all happened to fit the bill. Well, most of you did," she corrected with a glance to Remus.

Sirius said, "You're dodging the point, quit telling us what we already know!"

"We have all day," Remus said.

Ashley sighed, "I suppose we do, until dinner when someone notices _all_ our absences."

"I hope you don't plan on just sitting here for that long," Peter said.

"You'd be surprised," she said.

Sirius said, "Can we hex her yet?"

"I'm getting ready to," Remus said.

"I dare you to try," she said, drawing her wand but not aiming it at them.

James tried, "You could just give us the information?"

"I don't know, I'm feeling threatened," she said.

"I think you were waiting for the excuse of feeling threatened," Remus said.

"Maybe," she shrugged.

Sirius groaned, "Come on, you're wasting your own time."

"There are some things that I'm bound to secrecy on," she frowned. "Surely you remember Barry mentioning his boss? The one in charge is very careful about covering his tracks."

"Does he have a name?" Remus asked.

"You'd know him; most know his name and have had the fortune not to meet him," she replied.

"Thank you for your clarity," Peter mumbled.

"You're welcome, but it shouldn't be that hard to figure out," she said. "Dark wizards fear him." Remus shared a glance with James, frowning.

Sirius said, "You can't be serious?"

Ashley said, "No, that's you," with a smirk, "but yes, it'd be him."

"And you're working for him because..." Remus said.

"Indirectly working for him," she said, raising a finger to make a point. "And...Barry was a friend of my dad's, already working for you-know-who. I guess he saw my potential and didn't want to see me killed when his army is ready and moving."

"Of course," Remus said, crossing his arms.

"When your parents were both in Gryffindor and you have connections that could save your skin, you start looking at all your options," she mumbled.

"And that makes it alright," Remus said.

"I don't condone all his actions or the missions they give me, no, but when it's choosing to do your work or risk death can you blame me?" she asked.

"Yes," Remus said, crossing his arms.

Sirius said, "So basically, in a roundabout way, you're just saying you're scared shitless of the people in charge of you."

She snorted, "Everyone's scared of you-know-who, but you'd be hard pressed to be intimidated by Barry once you know his real name."

"Yeah, that was a bad choice on his mother's part," Peter mumbled.

Ashley chuckled, "I don't think his mother was expecting him to grow up to work for the dark lord."

"Who else knows about us?" Remus asked.

"No one, besides Barry himself," Ashley said. "Unless you killed him when I escaped, which would have been smart on your part."

"Yeah, well," Remus said, glancing to Sirius.

Sirius said, "I'm not one for killing," with a look back to him.

James sighed, "Anyway, we're getting off topic again. How can we trust you?"

"What reason do I have to give up that kind of blackmail so easily?" she asked with a smug smile.

"And telling people that you're working for you-know-who and have been drugging and kidnapping other students isn't blackmail," Remus said.

She said, "I know you have equal blackmail, and to be honest you four would be the first. Not many students are keen to pissing off the ministry by being unregistered animagi."

"I think they'd be more upset about you," Peter said.

"A little, maybe," she said. "But hey, if they kick me out of school I'll just go back to Barry. I'm dead to my parents."

"There's a shock," Remus mumbled.

Sirius said, "My parents hate me, too, but you don't see me working for dark wizards."

"I don't think they hate me; I think they're disappointed, sad for me even," she shrugged.

"And clearly that's changed your ways," Remus said.

"Clearly," Ashley said. "If there's nothing else I can do for you, I suggest we stay out of each other's ways."

Sirius said, "No problem by me, but I _am_ curious about your feelings for my ex-cousin."

"Yeah that's pretty weird," Peter said.

Ashley said, "Everyone needs alibis. It's useful that she's a blind follower, when it's all said and done."

"That makes more sense," Remus said.

Ashley said, "If I have to play a few roles, so be it. And she makes for good company when she doesn't hate your soul."

"Of course," Remus said sarcastically

Ashley smirked, "You four are lucky enough to be her mortal enemies. I see why you hate her."

"No, _really_ ," Peter said.

James said, "Aren't we fortunate," flatly.

"Are we done here?" Ashley asked.

"Are we?" Remus asked.

Ashley said, "I was rather hoping you didn't have more questions." Peter glanced to James, Remus shrugging.

Sirius said, "I'll buy that she wouldn't dare to give up our secrets, for now."

"Then I guess that's it," Remus said.

Ashley said, "Good. Until next time," though she didn't put her wand away. Remus glanced to James, starting to back away. James glanced to the wand, turning after giving her a look and walking off. Sirius slid his wand into his pocket, keeping a hand on it as they left.

Remus sighed, "Well great."

Sirius said, "We didn't get much new information, but I do trust she won't go blabbing to anyone."

"I think she knows the cost," Remus said.

James nodded, "She'd be a lot stupider than I thought to give up our secret."

"I guess we just have to worry about Barry now," Peter said.

Sirius said, "I don't think he'd have any luck breaking onto school grounds."

"But what about when one of us tries to leave?" Remus asked.

James said, "Maybe it'd be better to stick to groups, then? Just don't go off alone?"

"But in a month..." Remus said.

Sirius said, "Hopefully by then they'd have found him."

"If they haven't, we're in trouble," Remus said.

James said, "We can ask Dumbledore to keep us updated?"

"That's the best we can do right now," Peter said.

Sirius nodded, "And we'll keep an eye on Ash," as he put a hand on Remus' shoulder. "It'll be fine."

"Right," Remus frowned.

James said, "She was right on one thing. If we're absent from dinner, people will notice."

"If you weren't so loud all the time they wouldn't," Remus mumbled.

Sirius said, "Come on, you know me," with a grin, nudging his side.

"I do," Remus sighed.

James said, "You know you love us," with a smirk.

"Only one of you," Remus said.

Sirius said, "Peter, you lucky dog," making James laugh. Remus snorted, Peter holding a hand to his chest in mock-drama.

James grinned, putting an arm around Remus' shoulders and saying, "We stick together, and Barry, nor anyone else, is going to touch you, besides Sirius."

Peter snorted, Remus rolling his eyes and saying, "Thanks."

James said, "I'm here for you," with a smirk.

Sirius said, "But I get you first."

"I don't really want to be passed around," Remus said.

Sirius said, "I never said I was going to share."

"Great, thanks," Remus said.

"You're welcome," Sirius grinned, giving him a sideways hug.

"You two probably have fleas, anyway," James smirked.

"I'm going to hang Christmas lights on your antlers," Remus said.

"That's assuming I'm going to turn into a deer around you during Christmas," James said, crossing his arms.

"You'll crack," Remus grinned.

"I don't think so," James huffed.

"Or you'll startle," Peter said.

"Not helping, Pete," James grumbled.

"He has a good point," Remus said.

Sirius said, "It's okay, I'll help you get them on him," he grinned.

"Good," Remus grinned.

James said, "Good luck, you two," as they walked back to their dorms.

"It's on," Remus said.

~~~~~~~

A couple weeks after they had brought forth the issue to Dumbledore, there had been no reports from the Ministry about capturing Barry. However, they continued to hear nothing from him, even checking in with Ashley once in awhile, though she claimed she had no word from him, either. The next full moon was on its way, though the last two they had been through they hadn't seen anything during their watches around the shrieking shack.

"I don't like this," Remus frowned.

Sirius said, "He hasn't been around. We'll keep watch like always; it'll be fine." Remus hummed uncertainly, rubbing his arm.

James said, "We're ready for him. Besides, if he's cut contact with Ashley, that basically means he no longer has a brain," he smirked.

Remus snorted, saying, "I suppose so."

Sirius put an arm around Remus, saying, "You worry too much. Besides, he'd be damn stupid to break into the shack while you're a wolf."

"He's done it before," Remus said.

James said, "I think he was mostly pissed and letting emotion get in the way, at the time."

"So now he's more calculated and dangerous," Remus mumbled.

James said, "Don't think of it that way; there are still four of us."

"Good, you have the power of simple math for our side," Sirius chuckled.

"I'm not sure I want you guys there," Remus said.

James said, "We've gone with you to the shack since we found out. Why stop us now?"

"If he comes back..." Remus said.

Sirius said, "He won't come back. If he does, we'll do the Ministry's job for them," he grinned.

James snorted, "Yeah, maybe they'll offer us jobs on the spot."

"Or try to arrest us," Remus said.

Sirius said, "Nooo, not _us_ , why would we ever do anything wrong?" with a smirk.

"Exactly," Remus mumbled.

James said, "Cheer up, man. It does you no good to be in a foul mood prior to being a wolf."

"I should test that, actually," Remus said.

Sirius said, "Do you have to test it tonight?"

"No," Remus said.

"Good," Sirius said, kissing his cheek as they were far from the castle by then. Remus smiled, glancing around anyways.

James whistled nonchalantly, Sirius smacking his head and keeping his other arm around Remus. Remus rolled his eyes, Peter snorting. James said, "Hey, if you two want Peter and I to take first watch we're more than happy..."

"Thanks," Remus said, "we're good."

Sirius said, "I don't know, maybe we should let them take first watch."

Remus raised a brow at him, Peter snorting. James said, "We've established Sirius does nothing to help your love life, Rem."

"Thanks," Remus said sarcastically.

Sirius gave him a thumbs up, saying, "Really can they have first shift?"

"Fine," Remus sighed.

"Yesss," Sirius fist-pumped, James rolling his eyes.

"Peter, if you would?" James asked, referring to unlocking the shack. Peter sighed, turning into a rat and bouncing away.

Sirius said, "We should start bringing hot chocolate to these little get-togethers."

"Of course," Remus said, pinching the bridge of his nose.

James shrugged, "I second the notion."

"We can bring cookies too," Remus said.

Sirius said, "I love the way you think."

"That was... ok," Remus said, Peter opening the door.

They entered the house, taking their normal spots, Sirius saying, "We'll be here," and giving Remus a quick kiss. Remus sighed, kissing him back before heading up the stairs.

The rest of them were waiting in their animagus forms for the soon-to-be werewolf to join them, Sirius' tail thumping half-heartedly against the floor. Peter winced at the noises upstairs and heard a crash, moments later Remus hopping down the stairs carefully. Sirius lifted his head, as did James, Sirius yipping curiously. Remus sniffed around, looking towards the hole in the wall. James' ears tilted back, forgetting to patch that up since the last visit they'd had. Sirius trotted to stand next to him, wagging his tail.

Remus sniffed at Sirius before looking back to the hole, suddenly taking off through it. Sirius blinked, looking to James and running after him, James struggling a bit with squeezing through the hole and thus falling behind. Remus galloped into the woods, quickly being lost among the dark tree trunks. Sirius whined, slowing when he lost Remus and attempting to follow his trail by scent. Since there was almost no wind in the trees, the trail lingered, but he also didn't want to leave James and Peter behind in case Barry made an appearance.

In about twenty minutes, Remus reappeared dragging a dead buck by the neck. Sirius was sitting at that time, ears falling and eyes widening when he noted Remus' quarry. James and Peter had gone back to watch the house, Sirius conveying through scrawling in the dirt to come back in half an hour if he didn't report in.

Remus dropped the deer in front of Sirius, sitting. Sirius blinked, leaning away from the deer with a frozen expression of shock. Remus panted at him, after a moment nudging it towards him. Sirius looked to the deer and back to Remus, making a short whine and shaking his head. Remus panted happily again and nudged it, wagging his tail a little.

Sirius whined again, praying to any god out there the dead deer wasn't James, forcing himself to lean his head down to sniff it, wondering if it'd appease the werewolf. Remus panted happily, tilting his head. Sirius half-heartedly wagged his tail, yipping in uncertain thanks and lifting his head away from the deer again, awkwardly avoiding looking at it.

Remus tilted his head further, making a little noise and nudging it, wondering if he didn't know how to eat. Sirius frowned, ears tilting back as he leaned down to sniff it again, trying very hard to ignore what he was about to do when he licked the deer's leg, trying to make a sound that equated to 'mmm' as he resisted the urge to throw up instead.

Remus made a mildly distressed noise, lying down. Sirius sat, not sure what to do with it and certainly not wanting Remus to force him to eat it, particularly if it was James. Remus continued to nose it at him from his laying-down position, making a disgruntled noise Sirius whined again, slowly taking a leg in his teeth but not biting into it, avoiding letting the deer touch his tongue. Remus made a grunting noise, tilting his head.

Sirius' tail lay flat on the ground in distress, wondering exactly how far Remus was going to make him go with this, giving the leg a half-hearted tug. Remus made another grunt, standing and walking over to him before picking him up in his mouth by the scruff of his neck. Sirius yelped nervously, tucking his tail between his legs and instinctively trying to tuck all his limbs in towards his body.

Remus snorted, prancing off back to the shack with Sirius. Sirius kept still the whole time, glad Remus had dropped the whole deer issue and hoping there was a different stag waiting for them at the shack. Remus set Sirius down in the kitchen area of the shack, yipping at him and going back out.

Sirius barked for him, whining when he didn't come back but not following him, almost feinting with relief when a stag poked its head into the kitchen with a rat sitting in his antlers.

Remus came back in a minute with the dead deer, dropping it again. Sirius frowned, James looking to it as his ears slowly tilted back and he backed into the living room. Remus made the disgruntled noise again, pushing the deer towards Sirius. Sirius whined, scooting away from the deer a bit. Remus made the noise again, walking over to Sirius

Sirius watched him, again feeling bad but nipping the deer's leg again. Remus nosed Sirius' side, wondering what was wrong with the dog. Sirius yipped and shook himself off, whining again and hoping Remus wouldn't end up mauling the deer carcass in the kitchen, for he and James' and Peter’s sakes.

Remus nosed him again before collapsing on top of him, resting his head on Sirius's side. Sirius made an 'oof' sound, air leaving his lungs with Remus' sudden weight. He shifted so he could breathe, wagging his tail, as cuddling was much preferred to eating a dead deer. Remus snorted again, starting to fall asleep. Sirius panted happily, bending with a bit of difficulty to lick Remus' paw, settling down as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh remus, you silly werewolf you


	26. The Last Day

Remus woke up sprawled across Sirius, immediately sitting up in alarm when he realized he was covered in blood. Sirius was in fact still breathing, still in dog form. His tail twitched in his sleep, making quiet growling sounds.

Remus looked around, spotting the deer and freaking out even more, shaking Sirius. Sirius blinked awake, yawning and making a squeaking sound as he looked at Remus tiredly.

"Sirius," Remus said, still panicking. Sirius made a questioning 'murrr?' sound, tilting his head. "There's blood everywhere, and..." Remus said, glancing to the deer. 

Sirius blinked, transforming and yawning, rubbing his neck and saying, "Ah, right. That's just a deer, James is in the other room."

Remus leaned back resting a hand over his chest and saying, "Oh thank god."

"You did try to make me eat it, though," Sirius said, patting his knee. "Thanks for that."

"I what?" Remus said, suddenly realizing he should grab his leftover robes.

"You hunted for me. It was a sweet gesture, but I don't usually prefer my meat raw," he smirked, giving Remus a once-over.

Remus frowned at him, saying, "I’m getting my robes."

Sirius sighed, "Do you have to, though?"

"Yes," Remus said, standing.

"That's a shame," Sirius mumbled, laying back on the floor and tucking his hands behind his head as a sort of pillow. Remus sighed, stealing upstairs to grab clothes. Sirius yawned again, standing slowly and stretching, having lent his outer robe to James for a pillow.

Remus came back down a few minutes later, a bit pale and looking at the dead deer. Sirius said, "Believe me, I had the same reaction before you picked me up and carried me back here."

"That's not James," Remus said.

"No, we just covered that," Sirius said.

"It could have been, though," Remus said.

Sirius sighed, "You're worrying too much, again."

"I _killed a deer_ ," Remus said. "My _best friend is a deer_."

Sirius opened his mouth to respond and shut it again, saying, "I see your point," instead, "but I think if your wolf form was all about deer hunting, you'd have killed him by now."

"It looks just like him," James said.

"I know, but still," Sirius said. "I think _some_ part of you carries over to your wolf form. I mean, you still cuddle with me," he grinned.

"Might just be because you smell like me," Remus said.

Sirius smirked and said, "I thought I smelled like wet dog."

"You smell good to me," Remus said, leaning forwards a little and then leaning back a little and blinking.

"Do I?" Sirius asked. "And what?"

"Nothing," Remus said.

"Whaaat?" Sirius asked, poking his side.

"Nothiiing," Remus said, moving away.

"Come on, they're asleep," Sirius whined, poking a ticklish spot.

Remus snorted, saying, "Knock it off"

"I will if you tell me," Sirius grinned evilly, shifting quickly to tickle him. Remus snorted, tucking his arm into his side and jerking away. Sirius switched to tickle his stomach, whining, "Reeemmm," but grinning.

"Nooooo," Remus laughed, curling in on himself.

"Come ooonnn," Sirius groaned, continuing to tickle him.

"Noooo," Remus gasped, trying to wriggle free.

"Remus," Sirius grumbled, sitting them down and collapsing over him, no longer tickling him but easily pinning him with his weight.

"I don't even remember now," Remus said.

"You said I smelled good, if that helps," Sirius mumbled, staying where he was.

"Nope," Remus said, unable to wiggle free.

"Then you brought this upon yourself," Sirius smirked, propping his head on his hand with his elbow on the floor. Remus groaned, trying to get out again. Sirius chuckled, "Nice try. You have to admit I make a good blanket."

"You do," Remus sighed.

Sirius grinned, turning back into a dog and shifting so his front paws were pinning Remus' shoulders, wagging his tail. "You're lighter now," Remus said, starting to push him off.

Sirius barked, retaliating by licking Remus' face. Remus snorted, trying to move his face out of the way as he sat up. Sirius stayed seated on his lap, licking his face and nuzzling his neck, whining for attention. Remus sighed, petting him as he looked around. Sirius continued wagging his tail happily, licking Remus' cheek and leaving his tongue partially out of his mouth like a cat.

Remus snorted, saying, "I want a camera." Sirius perked his ears forward, setting his head on Remus' shoulder.

Remus stood, continuing to pat his head and going to find James. Sirius trotted after him, a deer sleeping on the decrepit couch using a robe as a pillow. Remus looked to him, saying, "We should wake them up."

Sirius grinned evilly for a dog, trotting next to the couch and crouching low, suddenly barking loudly several times.

James and Peter started awake, James scrambling on deer legs on the couch and making Remus snort. Sirius stopped barking, sitting and panting with his tongue out, tail thumping against the floor in amusement.

Remus patted Sirius's head, grinning and saying, "Morning."

James bleated indignantly, rolling to both get comfortable and make sure he didn't squish Peter. "Maybe go human again," Remus said.

James grunted and turned into a human, saying, "I was panicking. Pete, where'd you go?"

Peter turned back into a human, his sudden size pushing James off of the couch. James thumped to the floor, Sirius barking with laughter and rolling onto his side, tail wagging in amusement as James grumbled, "Thanks, Peter. Shut up, Sirius."

"Sorry," Peter said, Remus snorting.

Sirius transformed still laughing on the ground, saying, "Ican't," and struggling to breathe while James stood and straightened his shirt and glasses.

"So, uh," Remus said, "sorry about the deer."

James rubbed his neck, saying, "Well, you know, you can't control it."

"We should probably move it, too," Remus said.

Sirius finally calmed down, sitting up and saying, "Yeah, would hate to attract bears."

"Bears in particular," Remus mumbled.

Sirius said, "Bad time for a Barry joke?"

"A bit," James nodded.

"Just a bit," Peter said.

Sirius said, "Right, my bad," with an apologetic look.

"S'alright," Remus said.

James said, "Anyway, now that that fun-filled night is over, we should be getting back before we miss breakfast. Our wil' wolfy needs a big bweakfast," he added, patting Remus' stomach.

"If you do that again I’m going to bite you," Remus said.

James said, "Feel free to right now, you're not a werewolf," he grinned.

Sirius said, “Now now, I’m the only one he’ll be biting any time soon."

Remus pinched the bridge of his nose, saying, "Let's get back to the castle."

Sirius pat Remus' shoulder with a smirk, saying, "Sure thing."

"Can we go?" Peter said.

James said, "We'd better, before these two find the bedroom."

"And we're going," Remus said, heading towards the door.

Sirius said, "James makes a good point though!" as he followed him.

"I'm going," Remus said, walking towards the castle.

They all fell in step with him, James laughing as Sirius said, "You can't deny it's a good idea."

"I think I’m in the mood for waffles," Remus replied.

"Where are you gonna put the syrup?" James smirked.

"On the plate, James," Remus said.

James said, "You're no fun the morning after the full."

"Shocking," Remus said, "I’m starving"

Sirius said, "I suppooose we can save the jibes for after breakfast."

"Please," Remus said, sneaking in the main doors.

They glanced around, not seeing anyone that would slow their immediate advance to the great hall. Remus made a bee-line for the sausage and waffles, Peter relaxing as well. They sat down, James serving himself french toast and Sirius going for a waffle. Remus dug in quickly, Peter getting himself eggs and bacon.

As they all scarfed down breakfast, Dumbledore sidled up to them, James catching the movement out of the corner of his eye and looking up, almost choking on his apple juice. "Morning, Headmaster," James said when he had recovered.

Remus glanced up, surprised, as Peter accidentally spat out a little orange juice in his attempt to say, "Good morning."

"Morning to you all," Dumbledore said pleasantly, reaching over Sirius for a slice of bacon. "I trust your night went well?" he asked casually, eating the bacon.

"Uh, as good as ever," Remus said.

"Good, I was hoping it would be," Dumbledore said, "you know, now that there are less bears on the grounds to look out for."

Remus blinked, Peter choking again. James asked, "Are there?"

"Indeed," Dumbledore nodded, finishing the bacon and continuing, "so now, hopefully, the nights will be a bit quieter and all that."

"Thank god," Remus mumbled.

The headmaster grinned, patting Remus' shoulder, saying, "I know; it's a relief. Also, you should all know that Ashley is staying in school. I talked to her a bit the other day."

"Ok," Remus said, Peter nodding.

Sirius mumbled, "Oh, joy," before taking a drink of pumpkin juice.

"Don't worry, I'm sure Remus will keep you occupied enough not to notice her," Dumbledore grinned, Sirius choking on said juice.

Remus choked on the air, having a coughing fit and turning bright red. James grinned slowly, saying, "Nice seeing you, sir," before taking a drink of juice.

"My pleasure," Dumbledore said, nodding to them and heading back to the professor's table.

Peter watched him go, saying, "I worship that man," reverently.

James laughed, "So do I," as he tried not to fall out of his chair.

Sirius said, "You're _so_ lucky you're sitting on the other side of this table or I'd punch you."

Remus was trying to free his airway, also nearly out of his chair. James continued laughing as Sirius glared at him, calling, "Hey, Evans," when he saw Lily approaching, James immediately calming.

Lily glanced around the group, asking, "You guys alright?" as Remus finally got his breath under control, his eyes watering.

Sirius coughed, clearing the last of the pumpkin juice from his throat and saying, "Just peachy." Remus just shook his head, setting it on the table.

Sirius rubbed Remus' back, asking, "What can we do for you, Lils?"

"I was wondering what Dumbledore wanted," she said.

James said, "He was just spreading some good news."

"Sirius finally got a flea collar?" Lily smirked.

Sirius said, "Ha ha, funny."

James chuckled, "I thought it was."

Remus snorted, saying, "No, he said the bears are gone."

Sirius said, "And that is indeed good news," holding up his cup in a sort of toast and taking another drink.

Lily grinned, saying, "That's excellent news."

James said, "So hopefully Remus can get a peaceful night's sleep now."

"If only," Remus said, "with the snoring.."

Sirius said, "There's got to be a spell for that."

"There has to be," Lily said, "I can't stand it either, and I only have to hear him in class."

James rolled his eyes, saying, "I don't snore in class."

"Yes you do," Sirius said.

"It's like a freight train," Remus said.

James said, "Well I can't help it!"

"Trust me, I know," Lily said.

James sighed, "If you want to look up a charm or something for it be my guest."

"I plan to," Lily said.

"I look forward to seeing your solution," James grinned.

"Flirt somewhere else," Remus said.

"Why not here?" James asked.

"I'm trying to eat," Remus said, Lily rolling her eyes.

James said, "We've had worse conversations over meals."

"Also your fault," Remus said.

James shrugged, "What can I say, you know they're fun," he smirked.

"Lily, take your boyfriend away, please," Remus said, Lily snorting and saying "but that's effort."

Sirius said, "And here I thought you were strong enough to handle him, Evans," with a smirk.

"I don't want to throw him over my shoulder in the great hall," Lily said.

"You're right, it'd embarrass him," Sirius mused, James flipping him off.

"Besides," Lily said, not noticing Snape walking by, "I just ate."

James took note of the greasy-haired teen walking down the aisle across from them, standing and not giving her warning before he dipped Lily and kissed her. Sirius' jaw dropped, fork slowly lowering.

Snape slowed to a stop, his eyes practically flaming with fury as Remus gaped. James straightened, pulling Lily up with him and winking in Snape's direction. Snape started pulling out his wand, Remus standing and taking out his own before they heard a teacher approach, both parties scowling and sitting again.

James watched Snape trudge off, saying, "I think it was worth it."

Lily snorted, swatting James' arm and saying, "Jerk."

James said, "Admit it, you enjoyed it as much as I did," as he took a triumphant drink of juice, Sirius' mouth still agape.

"I don't know how I feel about that," Remus said.

James said, "You don't have to," with a grin.

"I..." Remus mumbled, Peter looking like he might have died and gone to heaven.

Sirius finally found the strength to shut his mouth, looking between James and Lily. Lily smirked, waving at him as Remus slowly put his head down again. Sirius finally said, "This morning is getting to be too much."

"Really is," Remus said, not picking his head up.

James put an arm around Lily, continuing to grin proudly as Sirius mumbled, "We're never gonna hear the end of it."

"Nope," Remus said, Peter slowly returning from cloud 9.

~~~~~~~

The last day of school came before any of them realized the year was almost out. The students were mostly ambling about the Great Hall, telling their friends the usual goodbyes and 'stay in touch's while other students packed frantically in their dorms. Remus had his bag over his shoulder, James already having offered Sirius a place to stay at his house.

James said, "At any rate, we'll be visiting you, Rem."

"Yeah, once a month at least, though hopefully more," Sirius grinned.

"Hopefully more," he agreed.

James said, "We'll arrange it, guys. We've got the entire train ride for it."

"Right," Remus sighed, tightening the straps on his bag.

Sirius said, "Oh, that reminds me, I do have something to do before they call us to the carriages."

"Mm?" Remus asked, Peter already halfway down the stairs into the throng of students.

Sirius climbed onto the Gryffindor table, straightening his robes and clearing his throat, calling, "Hey, yo, listen up!"

Remus raised a brow, looking up at him as the crowd turned towards Sirius. James mumbled, "What have we just allowed?"

"I'm concerned," Remus murmured.

Once he had the majority of their attention, he said loudly, "Remember kids, it’s never too late to become a raging degenerate homosexual,” with a grin, jumping down from the table and pulling Remus into a kiss.

Remus made a surprised "mmrf," noise, turning bright red but kissing him back anyways.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and so it comes to a close. once again we thank you all for putting up with us this long, and we always appreciate comments and maybe ideas for new marauders fics we may or may not try to write in the future :3 and as usual, the credit for Sirius' closing line comes from this post:
> 
> http://trappedinapentagram.tumblr.com/post/103019090560/cozcat-francislare-and-remember-kids-its
> 
> stay beautiful, everyone ^_^


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